“Agreed,” I say sadly.
“I want to tell him,” Hayden says, his voice firm. “But I see your point too. Goddamn it, Hallie, this is tough.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“I don’t think you do. I don’t think you understand how badly I want to be there with you right now, to pick up where we left off. There are so many things I want to do to you.”
Like what? I almost ask, but then somebody walks around the corner, shouting loudly into their phone.
It’s a jolt of reality, reminding me where I am.
“We can’t do anything else,” Hayden says fiercely. “Not until Graham knows.”
That means for a month, I have to forget what Hayden and I did. I have to pretend it didn’t happen and that I don’t want to do it again, the need surging with each moment.
“I’m surprised you even wanted to anyway,” I mutter.
“Don’t do that,” Hayden snaps. “You’re gorgeous, Hallie. You’ve got no idea how difficult it was at breakfast, with your hair all messy…I have to stop. I’m going to lose control.”
Do it, I want to scream, but I don’t.
“I want to tell him too,” I whisper. “Dad, I mean. I do, Hayden, but I honestly think it would be unfair.”
Or is that an excuse? A way to delay the inevitable?
“Let’s call this goodbye, then, for a month,” he says, his voice tight. “It’s the only way I can think to handle this fairly. Or somewhat fairly.”
I swallow as my reflexes try to make me yell no, to tell him there’s no way I can forget about last night.
“I know you’re right,” I say softly. “But it’s going to be difficult.”
“Yeah.” His voice is deep and gruff. “It’s going to be torture. All I can think about is being with you again, but we can’t.”
“I guess…bye, then?” I murmur, annoyed at myself for more tears trying to make an appearance.
I don’t let them, partly because I don’t want Hayden to hear how crazily emotional this is making me and partly because I don’t deserve it.
“Goodbye, Hallie,” he says. “If Graham gives us his blessing, just know I’m taking you out.”
I try to imagine a world where dad is absolutely fine with Hayden and me. It’s not completely unthinkable, as dad’s the most understanding man I’ve ever known.
But it’s difficult to envision.
Shouting and tears and fights and the end of everything….
That’s much easier to imagine.
“I’d love that,” I whisper.
He hangs up, leaving me feeling lost and stranded, even if I know he’s telling the truth.
We’re doing the right thing by waiting, not betraying dad further.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Hayden
I’ve gone without sleep for long periods in my life, whether burning the midnight oil to finish an article or, more recently, finding it impossible to sleep in the cramped quarters the kidnappers kept me in.
I glance at the clock, telling me it’s two in the morning.
According to the calendar, it’s been four days since I last spoke to Hallie, since Graham left for the West Coast. Since then, I’ve spoken to Graham, attempting to smile as he eagerly gushed about his work there.
“I’m not saying I’d ever quit my practice,” he told me a couple of days ago. “But this makes a very welcome change.”
Now, I attempt to focus on the article, but the words won’t come.
After working for mainstream news outlets for almost two decades, I struck out on my own, using a crowdfunding website to bring my most loyal fans with me. I never expected my website to explode the way it did, garnering tens of thousands of supporters, but I’m always grateful.
It means I get to choose the stories and pursue what I want.
But now, the only thing I want to pursue is a nineteen-year-old woman with a curvy body, silky hair, and the most captivating everything I can imagine.
My hand tries to reach for my cell phone. It’s been the same ever since we said goodbye the day Graham left.
I’m aching to speak to her.
I would’ve called her a hundred times by now if she wasn’t Graham’s daughter. The only thing that stops me is the knowledge we’d be betraying him again.
He doesn’t know about the first time, so I can’t make it a second, a third….
Picking up my cell phone, I leave my office, walking through my apartment and out toward the balcony.
My favorite part about the penthouse is this balcony garden, a miniature jungle overlooking the city.
The only downside is that I can stare right across the skyline, the bridge, and the suburbs. I can’t make out anything specific from here, but I know that’s where Hallie is, waiting for me, my goddamn woman.
My mind twists as I imagine her meeting another man during this month’s break. As far as she knows, it was entirely physical, what happened between us in the kitchen.
She can’t know the warmth in my chest, the need to be close to her, hold her tenderly, not just fuck her eager young body, but make love to her and lovingly spill my seed into her waiting core.