I’ve had a crush on Hayden Hunter for way too long, considering he’s my dad’s best friend.
I keep telling myself to be good, to stop fantasizing about him.
It should be easy. He’s overseas, working on a story, expanding his already impressive journalism career.
But I can’t stop thinking about him, six and a half feet tall, with steel-colored hair and intense eyes that – in my dreams at least – stare at me with complete captivation.
In my fantasies, it doesn’t matter if I’m a curvy nineteen-year-old wannabe film editor. It doesn’t matter that he’s twenty years older than me.
It doesn’t matter that Hayden would still never look at me even if he wasn’t dad’s best friend, and a relationship wouldn’t break dad’s heart.
Even if he did, I’m a virgin, so much less experienced than the sort of women I bet he usually goes out with.
That’s why I’m so shocked when he kisses me the night he returns.
Downstairs, while dad, mom, and my sister sleep, he claims me passionately.
We do more than kiss.
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
CHAPTER ONE
Hallie
I’m trying my best to let some of dad’s enthusiasm rub off on me.
He’s sitting up in his chair, gesturing with his fork, with a wide smile on his face. It’s weird to say he looks like a kid with gray hair and a mustache, but he does.
A kid on Christmas morning, and the gift is his friend.
His best friend, Hayden, is coming home.
I swallow, staring down at my spaghetti and meatballs, trying not to think about last night when my hand strayed between my legs.
I was stroking as if my life depended on it – nothing could’ve stopped me – as I thought of Hayden looming over the bed, staring down with those stark blue eyes.
Wolf eyes, Lila once called them. But my big sister never had a crush on him, not like I did…or still do, if we’re being honest.
In the fantasy, he tore away his shirt to reveal his muscled chest.
All six foot five of him moved forward, his manhood pressing against his pants, his full head of silver hair glistening in the moonlight.
And then I kept going, rubbing harder, my core alight as fantasy Hayden climbed into the bed, whispering in my ear with his husky voice.
“You’re going to do everything I say,” he growled in the waking dream. “I’m going to show you, Hallie. You’re going to be everything I need.”
Now, dad lays his fork down and grins even wider.
Lila looks at me from the other side of the table, a playful smirk on her face. She knows about my crush since there isn’t much we don’t know about each other.
“How long has he been away?” Lila asks.
I look around the dining room, so I don’t have to see dad’s undeniable happiness anymore. I study mom’s paintings. She does abstract art as a hobby, but I think they’re amazing and good enough to sell.
They could be anything, these clashing colors. They could be the love Hayden and I are going to share one day…or a bomb going off, the red fire and the shrapnel and the end of everything.
I try to think what dad would say if I told him that I wanted to be with Hayden. I want it so bad it hurts.
“Two years and a month,” Dad says.
“Must’ve been one hell of a story,” Lila mutters.
She throws me another smile, but this one seems more genuine. Maybe she can sense how uncomfortable this makes me.
Maybe people wouldn’t expect her to be so soft and loving. At six feet with model-like looks, people often expect her to be standoffish and superior, but she’s not. She’s four years older than me, and I’m so grateful luck gave me her as an older sibling.
“It was,” Dad says, nodding. “He chased those kidnappers through four countries. He was arrested twice. He was held captive for two months by the Somali pirates before he managed to escape.”
“You sound jealous,” Mom says, with a light, playful note in her voice.
Dad gives her a look filled with humor and love.
Mom’s wearing one of her big billowing items of clothing, something between a dress and a poncho and something else, homemade if memory serves.
“What?” Mom says, smiling. “It sounds more exciting than dealing with angry parents who want their child to be sick.”
Dad chuckles, and I know they’re sharing a joke about dad’s practice. He’s a family doctor for most of the suburb, and he’s often called into the city for work too. Mom’s his head nurse and sometimes accountant.
“I love being a doctor,” Dad says. “And even if Hayden’s life sounds fun and exciting, I know it would be a terrible fit for me. I’m not like him.”
“In what way?” I ask, forking a meatball and hoping my voice doesn’t shake.
“Hayden’s wild,” Dad says. “He always has been, ever since we were kids. I remember we were on a trip once with the school. I can’t remember where…it doesn’t matter. Anyway, there was this huge drop into the water below. Some locals were jumping in, but none of us kids. Then Hayden just walks up to the highest point, higher than anybody else, and leaps in.”
Dad laughs, shaking his head.
“We were all clapping and cheering, but he didn’t even notice until he’d walked back up to us. He said he just wanted to try it, to see if it scared him.”
“To see if it scared him?” Lila asks. “He sounds like a psychopath.”
I shoot her a sour look, then correct myself. As far as mom and dad are concerned, Hayden is nothing and nobody to me. Just a family friend.
The last time I saw him, I was a child. Of course, I’ve spoken to him here and there over the years, but never more than hello. Or a nod. Nothing, morsels to keep my crush going…even if I know I should’ve let it die the moment it started.