Am I hallucinating? Or did he seriously just say that? “For real?That’swhat you’re apologizing for?”
“It was a shitty thing… and unnecessary. I’m sorry.”
“After everything you’ve done to me, you’re apologizing for that? That’s probably the least of what I’ve had to deal with.” I can’t help but laugh—quietly, gently since I’m still in that warm, fuzzy place the pills have taken me. I’m only dimly aware of how hilarious and sad it is at the same time, hearing him apologize for something so trivial in the grand scheme of things. Back before James came home, and things took this sickening twist? Yes, I would have appreciated an apology.
Now, I haven’t even given it a moment’s thought. It’s amazing how quickly perspectives can shift when all hell breaks loose and everything falls apart the way my life has the past several days.
CHAPTER33
He expects me to wear this? I’m not even sure if I can figure out how to put it on. This so-called dress Nix dropped off in my room is so flimsy, it might as well not exist. “Trust me,” he muttered when all I could do was stare in a mixture of surprise and revulsion. “Just wear it and don’t make a big deal over having to. It’ll all be over after tonight.”
Somehow, that doesn’t make me feel much better as I stand in front of my mirror, having worked out how things are supposed to go. This isn’t a dress. More like a fetish outfit—if that’s what they’re called. Tight and black and sheer and barely long enough to cover my pussy. My nipples are tight points pushing the see-through fabric, and every time I move, the hem hitches up over my ass. I pull it down a little, but that’s no use. It will only creep up over my cheeks again.
The butt plug is still firmly in place, and I’ve started to adjust to it a little. Not that I have any plans to make this a regular thing, but at least I’m not in pain. I can almost imagine how the sensation would be pleasurable if it wasn’t for the circumstances, and once again, I have to mourn for something I’ve lost. I will never be able to wear one of these again without so many ugly memories bubbling to the surface. The man has taken so much from me, things I didn’t even know existed until now. How much more is he going to take before this is all over?
I shouldn’t let myself think like that, but I’m so tired, so sore and used. Heartsick. On top of that, there’s my whole hormonal situation. I’m already miserable, so this isn’t exactly helping.
Hanging out in my room isn’t doing anything to get this over with. I have to survive; that’s all I need to do. I have to get it over with. After tonight, it’s finished. I’ve gotten through everything else they’ve done to me. I can do this, too.
So even though I want more than anything to curl up in bed with a heating pad and a book, I step out into the hall, prepared to meet my fate.
Colt is waiting for me, leaning with his back against the wall across from my door. He can’t help but look me up and down. At least he keeps it brief and doesn’t make any comments. All he says is, “It’s going to be a little different tonight.”
“No kidding. I still have this thing up my ass.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
The way he says it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “What’s happening?”
“Come on. You’ll see.” It doesn’t take long for me to figure out at least part of what he means since, instead of leading me downstairs, as usual, he heads down the hall.
My heart clenches when I realize what’s happening. Where we’re going. “No,” I whisper, grabbing him by the arm like that will do anything to slow him down. It doesn’t, of course. “In there?”
“Like I said. Tonight will be different.” Then he opens the door to the bedroom James shares with my mother. Nix is already waiting, as is his father, standing at the foot of the bed.
In here. In my mother’s bed. It’s enough to make my blood run cold.
James flashes a broad smile that widens with every step I take. “Good evening, Leni. Let’s see you do a little spin in that outfit. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was made for you.”
And here I am, trying to ignore the fact I’ve never felt less attractive in my whole life. The fact that I’m crampy and bloated isn’t helping things, either. Still, I know better than to hesitate, so I do a little spin with my arms held out to the sides.
“Very nice,” he declares. Already I can hear the change in his voice. How it’s gotten sort of breathy and raspy. All the blood’s leaving his brain and traveling south. He even runs a hand over his crotch, rubbing himself a little while he stares at me.
He then takes a step back from the bed and waves an arm like he’s directing me that way. “I thought tonight we would keep things a bit more intimate,” he explains. There’s a throb of eagerness in his voice, like a little boy who can’t wait to start having fun. “Besides, we want you to be comfortable. I understand last night might have been a little rough on you, and I would like to make up for that.”
Yeah, right. Like I believe a word he’s saying. Especially when he uses that fake, sickeningly sweet tone, like all he cares about is doing right by me. He must think I’m really stupid. Either that or he gets off on being an absolute bastard. I wouldn’t doubt it, all things considered.
Not that I’m in any hurry to get on the bed, but I hesitate more than I normally would, biting my lip and glancing at James before looking away. “Do you know… I mean, did they tell you…”
He clears his throat. “Yes, I’ve been informed of your condition.” And oh, does he sound grossed out. For once, I’m the one grossing him out. What a change. “But don’t worry. We’ll keep that in mind. Nobody will touch your pussy tonight.” The way he announces it, it’s like he’s also reminding his sons. Like he’s being the generous, doting parent. Am I supposed to thank him?
With that, his expression hardens, and I know we’re about to begin. “Now get on the bed. On all fours.”
So this is it. I just have to get through it, that’s all. And once it’s over, it’s over. That’s all that keeps me going as I climb onto the king-size bed where my mother sleeps, where I’m sure she’s had sex with this man and will again. And all the while, he’ll know he made his sons take her daughter’s ass in this same bed. I wonder if he’ll think about it while they’re fucking.
What is wrong with me? Why am I even entertaining these thoughts? I guess it’s because they’re easier to think about than the reality of what’s happening to me and what’s about to happen.
“Colt, you can go first. Remember what we talked about. Take her hard. Make it count.” James lowers his zipper as he speaks, taking himself in one hand and beginning to stroke.