When they don’t shoot me down right away, a glimmer of hope sparkles in my chest. Maybe they’ll actually listen. Maybe they’ll actually give me what I’m asking for.
Who am I kidding?
“It’s too late for that now,” Colt informs me in a flat voice. “This will be easier if you do what we want.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Nix confirms.
How can they do this? How can they stand here on either side of me and say this without even sounding sorry? There’s nothing normal about any of this, not a single thing, but the way they make it sound, it’s inevitable. Like it was always going to be this way, and I’m only finding out about it now. Is this how it always is around here? What the hell has my mother got me into? And would she even believe me if I tried to tell her?
My heart aches when I consider that question, mostly because I already know the answer. Unless she were to see it with her own eyes, she would never believe this because she wouldn’t want to. Who would? No, this is it. This is my life now, and I have no say over it at all. All I will ever be able to do is dread the next time it happens and hope I can get through it. That’s all. That’s as much as I can look forward to now.
Nix takes me by the arm and pulls me to my feet. “I’ll take you to your room.” Sure, because I’ll have to stay in my cell, won’t I? Unless I’m wanted. My chin quivers, but I won’t give them the satisfaction of crying in front of them. I’ll wait until I’m alone, in my room, and then I’ll let it out. But not now.
Between the way I was already feeling after last night and the events of the past couple of hours, I’m almost limp with exhaustion. Wiped out, body and soul. My feet are heavy as I climb the stairs to the first floor, then again as we continue up to my room. Nix doesn’t say a word, walking silently beside me, then escorting me down the hall. It isn’t until we’re halfway to my room that I notice a high-pitched, squealing sort of noise. I identify it as a drill a moment before coming to my open bedroom door and finding James attaching screws to my windows.
He holds the drill in his hand as he turns, wearing an easy smile. “Can’t keep you too safe, can we?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, instead fixing the last screw in place. He tests the window and nods, satisfied. “There. All done. Wouldn’t want you falling out of the window one night, would we?”
I don’t even care. I can’t muster up the energy to think, much less look toward a future where I’m locked in this room with no chance of getting out unless one of them decides they want to play. At least he leaves the room, but Nix stays, following me to my bed. I crawl in, not even bothering to get changed before curling into a ball.
I close my eyes and stay very still, but Nix remains where he is. Jesus, what is he thinking? He’s not going to…
He leans down, and I flinch, squeezing my eyes more tightly shut, unable to suppress a whimper. I turn my face toward the pillow so he can’t kiss me, but he doesn’t try. “He doesn’t have a key,” he whispers before straightening up, and a moment later, the sound of the door locking tells me he’s gone. I’m alone.
At least I don’t have to fight back the tears anymore.
CHAPTER24
I’m trapped. No matter how I look at this, no matter how many different angles I try to approach it from, I’m trapped. There’s no other word for it.
I can’t get away on foot, that’s for sure. They won’t even let me out of this room unless they want to, and I doubt I’ll be left alone at any point. Now we all have a secret we share, and they’re going to want to make sure I don’t tell the wrong person. I can’t tell anybody. All I have ahead of me is a string of days behind a locked door, being used, being hurt.
How am I supposed to accept that?
What’s the alternative? I know it will only get worse if I try to fight back. I can’t do this on my own. I can’t get away on my own.
And who would help me if I asked for it? Not Mom, I know that much. She would never believe me, even if she gave me the chance to tell her what’s happening, which I doubt she would do in the first place. She wouldn’t want anything to disturb her perfect little life that she finally managed to score for herself. I would only ruin things, which would make her hate me even more. I’m not going to kid myself into thinking she would be on my side.
It’s close to dawn when an idea forms in my head. It’s my only shot. There’s only one other person in the world who gives a damn about me. And even then, my grandmother is hardly more interested in me than Mom, but at least she doesn’t actively dismiss or ignore my problems. She’s all I have to rely on. She’s my only shot here.
Waiting until morning is torture, but I don’t want to call her in the middle of the night and freak her out even worse than I’m sure I already will. As much as I hate waiting, it gives me time to think about exactly what I want to say. I need to make her believe me. I need to drive home the point that she needs to come and get me immediately. Because this will only get worse.
Finally, around seven o’clock, I can’t wait any longer. This is around the time she normally wakes up. At least, it was while I was there a few weeks ago. How has it only been a few weeks? I’m a different person now.
I dial her number and cross my fingers.Please, please, believe me. You have to believe me.
“Hello?” She sounds put out, but at least she answered. I could cry from relief already.
“Grandma? It’s Leni. I’m in trouble and need your help. It’s urgent.”
“Lenora? Slow down. You’re talking too fast. What are you saying?”
“I’m in trouble,” I repeat in a whisper. “Please come. I need your help.”
“What kind of trouble? Where are you?”
“I’m at home, the new house. Mom is still away. Something really bad happened, and I can’t stay here anymore. Please, please, come and get me. I’ll give you the address. But I can’t get out on my own.”
“You’re speaking too quietly. I can barely hear you. What’s happening?”