“So what? You just sit here on the computer and tell kids how to do their homework?” Could he sound more dismissive? Because organizing storage shelves is so much more important?
“Something like that.”
“And people pay you for that?”
“They pay pretty well, actually.” I can’t help but feel proud of that. “Lots of parents want to make sure their kids are at the head of the class. There’s a lot of pressure out there.”
“That makes sense. Though I can’t imagine why they’d pay you for that.”
He’s only trying to get a reaction, and I know it, but that doesn’t stop my irritation from bubbling over until I have to say something. “I’m actually pretty good at math, and history was always my best subject.”
“You’re such a nerd.” It’s funny, though. He doesn’t sound as nasty as usual when he says it. I’m under no illusions here. We’re not friends. But at least he’s not being cruel. It’s amazing how little I’ve come to expect.
“Yo, what are you doing in here?” Nix shows up out of nowhere, and the entire energy between us changes. If I didn’t know better, I would think some of Colt’s posturing and cruelty is due to his brother’s influence. I’m not going to fool myself into believing that. I know I can’t trust Colt; he’s proven it to me. But I can’t pretend there isn’t a difference in Colt’s expression now that Nix is standing beside him. He’s harder, colder.
Nix sneers down at me. “Hard at work? I guess if you don’t have any friends, there’s not much else to do.”
“She’s too good for the job we got for her,” Colt reminds him, wearing a nasty smirk. “You can’t even be nice to some people.”
“And that’s why you don’t have any friends,” Nix decides. “Because you don’t know how to be grateful.”
“I’m sorry, but a job at the gym isn’t going to look as good on my résumé as tutoring.”
“You’re such a fucking loser.” All things considered, I’ve heard worse from him. “Don’t get used to it.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means things are going to change around here again once the parents get back.”
I don’t like the way he says it. The barely veiled threat under his words. “How?”
Rather than clue me in, he elbows Colt. “Come on. We’ve got shit to do.” Strange, but I can almost feel the expectation in the air when Nix stares at me. “Well?” he demands.
“Well, what?”
“Don’t you want to know what I’m talking about?”
“Not really. Have fun, whatever it is.” But I don’t turn away, back to the laptop. I’m not turning my back on them.
“Come on. She’s not worth it.” Colt pulls Nix away, and once they’re in the hall, he mutters something that makes him laugh in a way that sends a chill down my spine. Are they planning something? Or do they only want me to think they are, so I sit here worrying myself half to death?
Psychological warfare. That’s what they are doing to me.
What they want most is for me to react, and I’m not going to give them that satisfaction if I can help it.
Instead, I’m going to sit here and wonder what Nix meant about things going differently once our parents get home. There’s still another ten days before that’s supposed to happen, and I’ve been secretly dreading them coming to an end. I don’t know what is going to happen with James or how things are going to change. Whether he’s going to go back to the way he was before, which I can only guess now, was all an act. The more time before I have to face him again, the better.
But I can’t imagine anything I’m doing right now that I couldn’t do once life goes back to normal. I’m making money and want to get out and take care of myself. What’s so wrong with that? No matter how I try to come up with a reason for somebody to get in the way, I can’t come up with anything.
Then again, I never imagined James doing what he did, either. Even now, it feels more like a nightmare than an actual memory. The way he changed so suddenly, going from the nice guy I thought I knew to someone dark and violent. It’s enough to make me worry about Mom, and that’s saying something. Very rarely do I worry about her since she doesn’t seem to care much about me unless it’s about the way I make her look or about the way I ruined her life. Has he ever treated her the way he treated me that day? I can’t imagine since why would she have married him?
The answer to that question is pretty simple, actually. Just looking around my bedroom is answer enough. It’s practically the size of half our old trailer. She’s been desperate to get out of that life. Is she desperate enough to marry a psychopath?
I stare out the window, lost in my worries. Wondering if my mother is somewhere alone with somebody who could suddenly lose his temper and do to her what he did to me…
CHAPTER20
If I’m grateful for one thing, it’s my books. My only way of escaping for a little while. When I’m reading, I’m not worrying. I’m not dreading or remembering. I can exist in another world, someplace where things make sense. Where people don’t hurt each other for no reason, where they apologize for the things they’ve done—and if they don’t want to apologize, they end up paying for it in the end. I think that’s the part I like best. Knowing the bad guys are always going to get what’s coming to them.