“No, no, that’s not what I want,” I somehow whisper, even though I’m close to hyperventilating.
“Don’t you know what happens to little girls who can’t keep their hands off other people’s things?”
Not only is he here—in my face and obviously bitter—but he’s also drunk. I smell it on him, on his breath. Even his sweat sends the scent of alcohol wafting my way. His speech is a little slurred, but his eyes are sharp when they narrow on me. “What are we going to do with you? You little snoop. Can’t be trusted home alone.”
“I was only—” Anything I might have offered to defend myself melts away when I swivel around in the chair to find Colt standing in the bedroom doorway.
And not only Colt, either. “You never know when to give up, do you?” Deborah demands, disgust dripping from her voice. “It’s like you’re begging for everybody to hate you. Maybe you have a mental problem or something.”
They’re all drunk; that much is obvious. She’s leaning against the wall for support while Colt looks as sloppy as I’ve ever seen him. They must have done a lot of hard drinking, very fast. It hasn’t been all that long since I left the reception.
“Fine, you caught me. I just wanted to see if there was anything you guys had on me—and I see there is,” I add, my voice shaking in spite of my attempts to sound strong. “It’s disgusting what you have there. How can you live with yourselves?”
“Oh, now she’s all high and mighty,” Deborah announces with a laugh. “But then she’s used to that. Always thinking her shit didn’t stink.”
“Not so fast.” Colt stops me before I can escape, locking an arm around my waist and pulling me away from the door so Nix can close, then stand in front of it. “You’re not going anywhere.”
I’m going to be sick. These are the last three people in the world I need to be alone with. “Please, I was only trying to—”
“God, does she always whine like that? How do you keep from throwing her ass down the stairs?” Deborah steps up, getting in my face while the guys laugh. “Whiny little bitch. So pathetic. Maybe if you had stayed out of here, this wouldn’t be happening. Ever think about that?”
“Now, why would she mind her own business? That’s too much to ask.” Colt leans in, breathing on my neck. “She would much rather act like a victim and whine and cry about how mean everybody is to her. You got yourself in this situation. Only you.”
Like they wouldn’t have found some other reason to get on my case even if I had stayed in my room all night. “I get it, okay?”
“No, not okay.” Nix sits on his desk chair, straddling it, arms crossed over the back. “What do you think we should do to her as punishment?” he asks Deborah.
Her eyes light up, and my mouth goes dry. This is going to be bad. “I don’t know. There are so many possibilities.” She snaps her fingers, beaming. “I know. We strip her naked, shave off all her hair, and leave her in the middle of nowhere.”
Nix and Colt burst out in hysterical laughter while I fight for every breath, thanks to my growing panic. “That’s a good idea,” Nix decides. “I like the naked part, too. The rest of it, though? We’d have a hard time explaining it to the parents.”
She lifts a shoulder. “Then let’s start with the naked part.”
Nix jumps up, eyes flashing, his smile reminding me of a wolf. While Colt holds me still, Nix tears off my pajama shirt. The cool air makes my nipples pucker, and I could die of embarrassment. I could just die. The last sound I hear will be Deborah’s hysterical laughter.
“I have an idea. Hold her still.” Deborah goes to the desk and grabs a black marker. No matter how I try to pull myself free, I doubt I could escape from one of the guys, much less two of them. Not when they’re this determined to humiliate me.
“Now hold still, bitch.” She narrows her eyes, concentrating hard on scrawling the word SLUT across my chest. Every letter she completes makes my stepbrothers laugh harder, louder, until they’re practically howling by the time she’s finished.
She’s only finished with that word, though. She has more to do. Starting from between my boobs, she works her way down to my navel. “W… H… O… R… E.”
“Nice work.” Colt laughs, and all I can do is whimper. “What do you think, Leni? Do you feel more like your true self now?”
“After all.” Deborah smiles in my face like she’s the happiest she’s ever been. “We already know who you are. Now, the rest of the world will know, too.”
Then she looks at the guys. “Turn her around. I’m not finished yet.”
Maybe it’s the chilling flatness in her voice when she says it, or it could be the idea of her seeing my scar and how much worse she’ll make my life once she does. Whatever it is, gives me the strength I need to break free. They’re probably too drunk, their reflexes are slow, and I use that to my advantage.
“Hey!” But that’s all Deborah gets out before I fling myself at her, knocking her against a dresser and out of my way. I fly to the door, throw it open, and run like hell down the hall. I fling myself into my room and slam the door before wedging the chair underneath the knob.
“Come on, Leni!” Deborah calls out, her voice getting louder as she approaches. “We just want to have fun! Don’t be such a pain in the ass!” Either Nix or Colt says something to her in a low voice, and she giggles. The sound fades away as she retreats to their room. I don’t have to imagine what’s going on in there. So long as they’re leaving me alone, I really don’t care.
Once I’m sure they’re not going to do anything like try to kick the door in, I allow myself to turn away from the door and head back to the bathroom. The shower walls are still dripping, but I’m about to get them wet again. There are tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat as I turn on the water and step in, grabbing my mesh sponge and soaping it heavily before I begin the task of scrubbing the marker off my skin. It’s not easy, but then what is? This is my life, after all. Nothing about it has ever been easy.
My tears mix with the hot water as my skin gets redder and redder the longer I work. I’m not getting out of this shower until my skin is clear. I don’t care if it takes all night and I run out of hot water. I will not allow those hateful words to live on my body.
I will not let her win.