I don’t want to fight this pull between us anymore. I want to push him, to make him break and acknowledge this new fire. Even if it's just sex, I want to explore this heat with the man I trust more than anyone else in the world.
So I do.
I back into Jax's embrace, flattening myself against his muscular chest and shamelessly wriggling against his lengthening erection, fighting a moan. All I can think about is how right this feels, how badly I want him inside me…
The arm that's slung over my hips bands across my stomach and pulls me even closer. A hum of contentment sounds in my ear where his face is still buried in my neck. And at the feel of his breath along my skin, a full-body shiver runs through my body.
I couldn't stop myself from pressing my ass against him even if I wanted to. My hips automatically begin to move in a circle, and I start to feel wetness gather between my legs from just the feel of Jax at my back.
A choked whimper escapes my lips.
I can't tell if the sound of it begins to wake Jax from his sleep, but a groan rumbles through his chest just as his other arm snakes under my shoulder. It wraps around my chest just as his other hand slips under the hem of my shirt that's already riding too high.
I freeze at the feel of his hand so close to my breasts. And when I suck in a deep breath, my chest expanding with the movement, I actually moan when his hand brushes my nipple. His hands are large enough they can envelop my breast fully, and I can't help squirming against him and looking for the contact again.
And like two magnets being drawn to each other, Jax seems to subconsciously look for the physical contact, too. He murmurs something in my hair as one hand cups my breast and the other slides underneath my shirt to gently stroke my stomach.
I think I hear him say my name, but I'm not entirely sure because in that moment, his hips rock forward. I gasp at the feeling of his length pressed against me, and instinctually push back against him.
"Baby girl," he mumbles sleepily, his face nuzzling into my neck at the same time that his hips rock forward again.
I let out a whimper as the lust ratchets to suffocating levels. I know Jax feels it too because he immediately groans and reaches down to grip my hip so he can grind into me again.
"Fuck," he moans into my ear.
I have no idea if he's awake. I have no idea if he knows it's me, or if he even knows what he's doing right now. But I'm breathing so hard, trying desperately to get air in my lungs when it feels like there's none in the room, that the questions don't even register. All I know is this burning need totake, take, take.
I can't help it when, in a breathy voice, I gasp, "Jax."
His hips pause in their roll. Then I hear a sleepy, "Hailey?"
I suck in a breath because I know this is the moment this becomes real. He's either going to give in or push me away.
And even though I wished so badly for him to embrace this fire between us, I'm not really surprised when he scrambles away from me with a curse.
"Fuck, Hailey, I'm sorry. I didn't know—I didn't mean—"
I swallow my sigh and turn over on the bed to face him, the lust cooling as if a bucket of ice water was thrown on us. He's sitting up, eyes ready to pop out of his head, and he’s breathing heavily as he visibly begs my forgiveness with his eyes. I have to remind myself to focus on his face and not his body, because the sight of a shirtless Jax is way more distracting than I’m prepared for while in this state of mind.
"Jax, it's okay—" I start.
"No, it's not," he panics, standing from the bed. "It's not okay. Fuck, I never should've let this happen, I should've just given you the room..."
I push myself to a sitting position as he starts to pace the room. He's truly freaking out right now, delirious from being woken up and panicking from the severity of whatever was happening between us.
"Jax, you have to relax," I try to soothe him. "Nothing even happened, there's nothing to freak out about. Just lay down and we'll go to sleep."
He stops in his pacing and stares, open-mouthed. "Lay down? I can't get in that bed with you again! Not when all I want is to—" He cuts himself off, his throat bobbing as he seems to swallow his words. But it's not hard to guess what he was going to say because his eyes darken as they glance over my body, pausing on my hardened nipples that are visible through his shirt.
"Jax, please," I beg. "Just come back to bed, we'll forget about the whole thing. Please don't shut down on me."
He just stares at me for another moment before breathing a quiet, "I can't." His eyes glaze over, his attention shifting back to my face and showing me the depth of his struggle. “I just can’t.”
I watch as he grabs a pillow from the bed and settles on the tiny couch without another word.
I try not to let the sting of rejection bother me. I know he's not doing this because he doesn't want me—he just thinks this is the right thing to do. So with a heavy sigh, I lie down and try to fall back asleep.
* * *