Aiden ignores the comment. "I'm also seeing this hot-as-fuck blonde that I met in my political science course this year. Hottest chick I've ever been with. Smart, too."
I raise an eyebrow in question. "Smart? What, you like this girl?"
Aiden chuckles and Max grins at the insanity of my question. I've been friends with these guys for long enough that I should know better than to ask that kind of question.
"Nah, it's not going anywhere. She's just fun to hang out with every once in a while when the stress gets bad. She's the same way—she’s not looking for anything, thank god."
I swallow against a suddenly dry throat. I try once again to flag down the bartender for another whiskey.
"It's just better that way, you know? No pressure, no feelings, just great sex." Aidan lets out an exaggerated exhale and looks up at the ceiling for a moment. "God, the sex is so good. She's a total freak."
Max nods his agreement and I find myself doing the same. Maybe it is better if it's just physical—God knows the emotional part of the past few weeks with Remy has sucked ass. There's a reason I never wanted more than sex with other girls. It's just so much easier than the chaos that comes with… everything else. It's probably a good thing that nothing came out of this thing with Remy and I.
I feel the choking grip on my heart loosen a little at the realization.
I look over at Max. "What about you? What's your love life look like?"
He grins sheepishly. "I'm… kinda back with my ex. Not, like, dating, but we've been fucking lately." Aiden lets out a groan and drops his head to the bar.
"Dude, you know she's going to start pushing for you to get back together again," Aiden mumbles into the wooden bar top.
Max scowls at his friend's head. "I know that. But I've made it clear that's not happening."
Aiden lifts his head so he can aim a glare at Max. "Yeah, because that worked out so well last time."
I start chuckling as I listen to their banter. I should've leaned on these two a lot sooner. For just an hour, I can forget the pain that's been threatening to tear me apart for the past few weeks.
The bartender finally slides another whiskey in front of me. As he turns to Max and Aiden to take their orders, I look beyond them to take in the rest of the bar.
With one look, my blood freezes and my heart drops. All the pain I've been trying to drive away with exhaustion and distractions comes right back to the forefront of my brain and multiplies tenfold.
Remy is sitting at the lounge section of the bar. With Jason.
Even though I can only see her from the side, I'd have to be blind not to recognize her body and her mannerisms. I can't quite see her face, but I can see that whatever she's saying has Jason grinning like a madman. He's completely riveted by her.
And why wouldn't he be? She's fucking gorgeous. She's wearing her work clothes and yet again looking like a sexy secretary with black heels, a tight black pencil skirt, and a white blouse. Her dark brown hair is lightly curled and hanging down to the curve of her ass, looking just as grabbable as her ass in that skirt. The outfit reminds me of the night I fucked her on the kitchen counter after I ripped off her work clothes and revealed the sexy red lingerie she wore underneath.
I desperately try to shake the memory before it consumes me.
At the sight of them together, the ache in my chest becomes an exploding bomb, piercing every corner of my soul with a pain so blinding that it feels like I can't breathe. I realize in this moment that I’ve been holding onto a false hope that she didn't mean what she said when she left. Like an idiot, I've subconsciously been trying to convince myself that she’d been lying, or trying to protect herself from me, and that's why she hasn't been around. It’s the whole reason I haven’t tried to contact her—I wasn’t ready to hear her confirm what my subconscious has been telling me for weeks.
But at the sight of Jason next to her, I realize she really did only want me for sex. That's all I was good for to her. That’s the only way she could handle hating me and living in the same house as me. While I was falling in love with her, she was just using me to get off. And now that we're no longer under the same roof, she's free to move on to someone else. Maybe to Jason, who she has more in common with and who she's never hated.
And I'm watching it happen.
I fight the urge to vomit as I turn back to the bar. I slam half my drink in one gulp, ignoring the wide-eyed look of shock on Aiden's face. I don't miss that he turns to see what made me angry, or the look of understanding that appears on his face when he puts two and two together.
All of the sadness inside me from the past few weeks suddenly morphs into furious pain. And I need an outlet before I explode and dump all of it on Remy.
Without thinking about what I'm doing, acting solely because of the anger coursing through my veins and the heartbreak tearing my chest in half, I look around the bar for a distraction. If Remy is moving on, then so am I. I’ll be exactly the kind of manwhore she thinks I am.
I plaster my trademark smirk on my face and turn toward the blonde sitting only a few seats down from me.
21
Remy
It feels like I've run an ultra-marathon in the three weeks since I've seen Tristan.