She rested an elegant hand on the door and shook her head, her hair perfectly trapped beneath her wimple. “I made choices so that I would feel comfort and ease, not passion and uncertainty,” she told me. “I never had the courage required to take a leap of faith. To risk even a moment’s discomfort. I take solace in that. I made my choices, and that, to me, was empowering.”
I swallowed back the last of my tears and bid my mother goodnight. She nodded.
“Good night, dear. Tomorrow, your father will return home. Nothing has changed as a result of our—understanding of each other.” She opened the door to my bedroom, and as she left, she told me, “I won’t stop whatever it is you have planned, Palmeria, but neither will I help you.”
ChapterTen
Several hours after my mother abandoned me to my quarters, I finished dinner and dressed for bed. I was far from sleepy, though. I kept thinking of the tournament in Kyruna, the melted mask…and not the least of my worries, my future husband, Emeric Otleich. Nervous energy had me pacing the floors, trying to decide on a new plan.
I puzzled through the options, but came up with nothing. No moves left to make. I stared into the fire in my bedroom, gently lifting my hands and considering my magic. My power. My secret. What good was a gift such as this if I couldn’t develop it? If, like my mother, I only used it to damage things and leave no trace?
The criminal life did not seem to be one I could escape. My circumstances had determined my path. My body had created my destiny. All I knew was that I could never, ever accept a life as Lady Otleich. Never.
I closed my eyes and recalled the feel of Syndrian’s stubbled face beneath my fingers. I cursed myself for not admitting what I felt for him years ago. Maybe, just maybe, we could have run off or found some way to be together before all of this. Now the odds against us, assuming Syndrian wanted me the way I wanted him, seemed harder to overcome than defeating a sea troll with my bare hands.
Laughable. Impossible.
A commotion downstairs broke through my angry reflections. As I tried to make out the muffled shouts over the slamming of doors, I threw a veil over my hair and rushed to the stairs.
In the main hall, Norwin was arguing with…Biko.In the thirteen years I’d known him, he’d never once, not once, set foot in the Lombard manor. Cold, prickly dread climbed the back of my neck; a sense of doom settled over my body. If Biko was here, something horrible must have happened.
“Where is Pali?” His furious demand boomed through the manor. Ordinarily, I expected to hear him sing, bellow in a voice alive with song and impromptu melodies, but tonight, there was no joy in his tone. “Pali!” he shouted, his voice echoing against the cold stone walls. “Pali, I need to speak with you!”
I ran down the stairs, calling after him. “Biko? Biko, what’s happened?”
Lady Lombard was gesturing wildly at my brother, while Norwin had an exasperated hand on the top of his head.
“Crofter, please, I beg you…” Norwin sputtered.
“Biko!” Breathless, my heart racing, I pushed past my mother and threw myself into his arms. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
I searched his face, my heart hammering in my chest, as my mother ordered the entire staff to bed.
“I want all of you out!” she demanded. “All of you! Leave me with this crofter. That includes you, Palmeria. Go to your room!”
Norwin dashed away, ducking his head and muttering about needing security in our own home. He and the other members of the household who had gathered at the commotion heeded my mother’s demand and scampered off to their quarters. I stayed close to Biko, gripping his waist and staring into his face.
“Is Idony all right? Please, Biko, by the gods, tell me what happened!”
Biko’s face was stony as he pointed at Lady Lombard. “Did you come to see my mother this afternoon?”
My mother’s gaze was not only cold—it was as sharp as a blade. “How dareyoucome intomyhome.” She seethed, punctuating each syllable as if it had the power to hurt him. “Get out before I make you wish you were never born.”
Biko’s rough laugh grated my ears. “Lady Lombard, you don’t know how often I wished I were never born. Born into this demon’s bargain.” He met my eyes. “Whatever happened today, Pali, you must tell me. I went for a walk on the grounds after dinner. My mother seemed distracted and spoke very little during the meal. When I came home, she was gone. Along with all the savings from our treasury.”
I pulled away from Biko and turned on my mother. “What did you do?” I demanded. “After this afternoon… Did you go to her?”
“My comings and goings are my business.” My mother’s eyes were filled with rage, her hand shaking as she pointed at Biko. “Get out of my home. You have no right to come here and accuse me of anything!”
“Is that what you really believe?” Biko clucked his tongue. He walked past me slowly, his broad shoulders and thick chest erect and proud. “You,” he said, his voice respectfully low, “are a cowardly woman. All I want to know is what you said to my mother and where she is. And I want you to tell meright now.”
“That you would insult me to my face is one matter.” My mother backed up slightly, making small movements toward the stairs. “But are you threatening me, crofter? In my own home? Do you value your job and your very life so little?”
“Mother, stop!” I moved from Biko to my mother, stepping close to her, puzzled but angry. “Did you do something? Do you know where Idony is?”
“Get out of my house.” Her voice shook, but not with fear. With unrestrained rage. She pointed to Biko. “I expect you to vacate the crofter’s residence by morning. You’re no longer employed by this house. Take your mother—if you find her—with you.”
Biko’s lips curled into a grin, but I covered my mouth in horror. She couldn’t. Couldn’t take away the only family I truly wanted in my life.