“I don’t want to be afraid of my magic. I don’t want to be controlled by the secrets anymore, Syndrian. I cannot leave my sleeping quarters without a half dozen people knowing where I go, what I intend to do. I want to disappear, just so I don’t have to be kept track of. I loved having that mask made if for no other reason than when I was down in that workshop, it was like I truly vanished. For those few moments, I felt free.”
“Tutovl would be a darker place without you,” he said roughly, his fingers tightening on mine. “No place I’d want to be.”
I did not know how to respond to that, so I just followed my body’s guidance and leaned forward. I rested my forehead against his.
“You’re certain I did nothing to cause the deaths of—”
“No,” he reassured me. “Pali, this realm is darker than you know. Those creatures crossed someone who had ties to a vampire. A very desperate vampire who led spies of the queen right to their lair. That or…” He sighed. “Pali, it’s possible the Otleich family killed them.”
I yanked my head away from his and stared into his face, my shock and disbelief making the room spin. “Murder?” I whispered. “They are capable of murder?”
“What do you think their business is, Pali? If your father’s in deep with the lot of them, his wealth isn’t just built on raiding and the gods only know what. There’s lending and credit, enforcement of contracts… Violence is more powerful than money itself. Maybe even more powerful than magic.”
If any part of me had thought to marry as my father intended, now that I understood how dark the Otleich world could be…I was changing my mind in a hurry. “They are no different from the queen, then,” I whispered, realizing with a shudder that Lord Lombard was no better than any of them.
Was my own father allied with murderers? I grew all the more resolute in my belief.
“The queen denies that creatures like me exist. It’s because of her that none of us can live freely, openly. Because of her, those creatures worked in secret and their lives were ended in a dark transaction that will never see the light of justice. My own father is part of that?” I bit down on my lower lip. “Iamconnected to those deaths. Just not in the way I imagined.”
“No. Don’t say that. You are innocent.” Sydrian stood, pulling me with him. He slid a hand behind my neck and drew my face close. “We are all just pawns in a game we did not design, Pali. You, me, even your father. I would not be surprised if his choices were made not out of a desire to do evil but a lack of options for doing good.”
I shook my head. “I cannot believe that. Would you excuse him? For what he’s done with his life? For what he intends to do with mine?”
“I would neither defend nor excuse him,” he said. “I know only how I might bend my conscience if my family’s survival were in peril.”
Something troubled in his voice drew my eyes to his. “What lengths would you go to?” I asked. I licked my dry lips. “Would you make dice for criminals if it meant…”
He stole the words from my throat by nuzzling my nose with his. “Don’t dig too deeply, Pali,” he whispered. “You are already far more entangled than you realize.”
I reached for the length of ponytail that rested on his shoulder and teased the end of his thick hair between my fingers. “Not nearly as entangled as I would like to be.”
“Pali,” he gruffed, taking my entire face in his hands. “If you want this, if you want me…there will be no going back.”
“I play aggressively when fortune favors me,” I reminded him, my rapid breaths lifting my chest until my breasts, buried beneath the cloak that stank of horse and hay, strained toward him.
“This is a dangerous game.” His breath matched mine, the sweet puffs teasing my face. Loose hairs that had fallen from his ponytail teased my cheeks. “You’re promised to an Otleich.”
“Promises are broken every day. By people of far fewer morals than either of us has.” I pushed my luck by trailing my fingers along his lower lip. “Syndrian, if you feel anything for me—”
He stole the words from my mouth with a ravenous growl. He lifted my face and hovered his lips a hair’s breadth from mine. “Pali…Pali…”
I waited, my eyes closed, my lips parted. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, and every bit of my body buzzed like a overexcited insect in an orchard. Frantic impulses to grab him and touch him nearly overtook my composure. I licked my lips slowly, then nudged my hips forward until my body aligned tightly with his. I circled his waist with my hands, and stretched my fingertips to explore the hard planes of his back.
“You feel so...” I had no words, and yet all I wanted to do was speak, babbling to give voice to my every thought. “You are stunning, Syndrian,” I said reverently. “Beautiful and—”
The first touch of his lips against mine stole my voice. Soft, like the brush of a butterfly’s wings, his lips fluttered and then he pulled back. It was over so quickly, I wasn’t certain what we’d shared was even a kiss. I whined, low in my throat, and lifted my head. I wanted more—not a taste, not a tease. I wanted what I knew he could give.
“More,” I begged, crushing my hips against his. “Syndrian, please…”
As if he felt the same way, awakened to an insistent passion, he covered my lips with his.
I became aware of every movement, every texture, every sound. The way his stubble scraped against my chin, sharp but not painful. I would never forget this moment, and I focused on every smell and sound as though this would be the last beautiful memory I’d ever make.
The damp air that chilled my toes was replaced by sensual heat where our bodies met. The vague scent of dust in the air competing with the warm almond oil that infused my senses when I stroked his hair between my fingers.
His kiss was gentle, restrained, like he was exploring the ridges and contours of my lips again and again, as if he too could hardly believe even if only for this moment I was his. I closed my eyes, willing all of the universe to fade away and leave us in this perfect, sweet cocoon.
He covered my lips and raked his hands through my hair, gently holding my face to his. He pulled back and then returned to plant teasing kisses on each lip before sucking my lower into his mouth. I gasped at the wet heat and pressure of his lips and teeth against my tender flesh.