I had relived that day many, many times in my memory. But now, under a thick twilight growing heavy with clouds, Syndrian’s bright eyes at my back, and so many different fears in my heart, I found myself in the unusual position of being able to openly defy my parents. To challenge them and test the consequences that I had for so many years had accepted. Dutifully, if not resentfully.
They cannot hurt me, not here.
Even as I prayed it, I did not know if that was true. I had no idea what abilities my father may have had…knew nothing of the world beyond my own fingers… And even those were sorely out of practice.
“Please,” Syndrian implored, following me. “We haven’t time—”
“Syndrian.” I breathed his name quietly as I gathered my courage. “If I could light the torch right here and spare us a trip to seek fire from the public lamps, would that be desirable?”
He swallowed hard, the knob in his throat moving against the dark bristles of growth there. “Yes.” He shrugged. “But I see not how…”
I walked up to him and set a hand on the chest of his cloak. “I need your trust,” I said softly. “As well as your discretion. Please, move away.”
His face twisted into a puzzled look. If he considered asking me further questions, he resisted. Perhaps he gave in to the constraints of time, rather than accepting any sort of trust in me. Either way, he nodded and turned his back to give me privacy.
I quickly knelt on the ground, my cloak a thin barrier between my tender knees and the prickles of grass and dirt. It had been so long since I’d done this, I was truthfully not certain how many tries it would take. And what the cost might be. If I toppled over in exhaustion, I hoped I would not fall directly on the fire I planned to set. But I would not know how far I might leap if I never rolled the dice.
I reached for several sticks and rubbed them together briskly, trying to create the slightest bit of heat between them.
“That won’t work,” Syndrian called, clearly listening to me working the twigs.
“Shhh, please!” I demanded. “I need to concentrate.”
He huffed a sigh but fell silent.
I continued to work the sticks, focusing all my energy on the small bit of heat the contact created. I’d never been taught to control my powers and truly understood very little about them. I’d once been able to manipulate fire—almost without effort. The day my father caught me, I’d been attempting to put out all the candles in the main hall from some distance, hoping to plunge Norwin into darkness while he worked. A harmless prank that I did not know with certainty I was even capable of accomplishing. My father’s abuse was intended to stop me from even trying.
But I was never the child my parents wanted. I had in fact practiced my magic for years before then in secret. Lighting candles or extinguishing one with my mind and hands was simple. Starting a fire from the tiniest source of heat? Should have been easy.
I said a quiet prayer of thanks to the gods, whispered to the twigs whose bark would bend to my subtle efforts, and then focused on coaxing the tiny bit of heat into flame. My arms were tiring, and my eyes stung from the intensity of my focus, but suddenly, the twigs began to smoke.
“Oh… By the gods…bring the torch!” I called, urgency in my voice.
By the time Syndrian handed me the torch from the back of my horse, both sticks were ablaze, rapidly burning like eerie woodland candles.
“I did it!” I crowed, shocked but also elated. “Quickly, please. Use these!”
Syndrian knelt beside me, concern etched into the crinkles around his eyes. “Well done,” he murmured, his voice low. He sounded as though he wished to say more, but he simply grabbed the torch and dropped the burning twigs to the ground. He stamped the fire out and helped me mount my horse. Then I held the torch while he mounted his.
“I’ll carry that and lead the way,” he said, extending his hand to take the torch from me. His voice was guarded, uncertain. Whether he suspected I was exceptionally skilled at starting fires or there was something else worrying his thoughts, this clearly was not the time to discuss it.
I stared at the orange flames dancing within the iron cage of the torch. I had done that. I’d made that happen. The flames were real. As normal as any fire lit by any other means. Nothing marked it as magic. Nothing marked me as different.
I knew that as of this moment, I would never be the same. A wild sense of freedom raced through my body like a wildfire. I’d done something I’d been forbidden from even thinking about. And no one had died or been otherwise punished as a result. Syndrian studied my face as our eyes met in the hazy glow of the flames. While I may have looked elated, his features brought the reality of our circumstances to me.
“Stay close,” he urged, his brows lowered and his lips set. “We must make haste to Omrora.”
ChapterFour
Syndrian insisted on accompanying me all the way to my family’s estate. As we rode onto the property, I prodded my mare toward the stable, but Syndrian stopped me. “Lady Pali.” He turned his horse, who I now knew was called Blade, in the opposite direction. “We should speak privately.”
I knew he was correct, but I was concerned about Letti. She’d be expecting both me and Poet. “I must return the horse. My family may be waiting for me. Shall we meet at the crofter’s cabin?”
He nodded and rode ahead. When I returned the mare to Letti, the stable hand confirmed what I’d suspected.
“Lady,” she whispered, “your father pressed me for your whereabouts. I explained you had not shared where you wished to go but that you’d indicated you’d only have the mare out a short while. I trust that will not cause you harm?”
I nodded. “You did perfectly well.” I gave Poet a grateful pat on the flank. “I appreciate your discretion,” I said.