Not even to sexy Cooper.
She was a lone witch, and she would always be a lone witch. She had made that promise to herself a long time ago, and she was not ready to give up on it. There had to be other things that she could try before she threw her life away on a fake marriage with a stranger.
Of course, saying these things to Portia hadn’t been helpful at all. The sex demon was dead set on presenting the idea to Alice again, but Cooper would be present this time. Why? Oh, only because Alice had the brilliant fucking idea to tell Portia that she wouldn’t do a single thing until she spoke to Cooper.
Well, now Portia was giving her the chance to talk to her possible husband, but it didn’t bring her any comfort. How was she supposed to look into the man’s eyes? A man she had seen nude, bloodied, and on the brink of death? It didn’t matter that he had the nicest eyes and smile she had ever seen. It didn’t even matter that he made her heart beat a little faster whenever he said her name or looked at her.
Those were actually reasons to keep away from him. It made him dangerous. If, by some strange fucking miracle, they did end up getting married, Alice was in real trouble of falling for the man for real. That just wouldn’t do.
One day, she would have to go back to living her life as a solitary witch, and surely, a taste of companionship would be enough to make her doubt herself. It had been easier as a kid to cut ties with a world that didn’t want her, but now, as an adult, her way of thinking might be a little less black and white.
But that didn’t mean she was okay with marrying a stranger to save her neck.
The soft knock at the door pulled Alice from her thoughts, and she took her time getting to the door. She didn’t bother looking in the peephole because she knew that it would be Cooper. They had an appointment to meet and talk, care of Portia.
With trembling fingers, she opened the door.
“Alice, hi. Thank you so much for everything you did for me.” Cooper stood there in a pair of forest green shorts and a white tee. His hair was dry now, and one strand fell against his forehead, making him look playful. It was a dangerous look for him to have around Alice. She hadn’t been touched by a man in a very long time. Her lifestyle didn’t exactly screamnormal and healthy relationships. She had her sexual needs met by lovers, but they were never around long enough to get to know her. Lately, this had proved an increasingly dangerous thing to do. An assassin could’ve posed as one of her sex buddies, and then she would be dead.
Nope. Not this witch.
She chose life over mediocre sex and decent-enough orgasms.
“Come in, Cooper,” she said, stepping to the side to let him into her room.
He did just that, and he settled in the living room. He looked like a man on holiday, not a man who, up until very recently, had been at death’s door. He tapped the seat beside him. “Sit, Alice,” he teased. “I’m not gonna bite you. We’re just here to talk.”
Reluctantly, she sat beside him. The proximity was nearly too much for her to bear, and she tried to move her legs away from his as discreetly as possible.
Cooper took a deep breath and said, “You saved my life, and I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”
“Apparently, giving me your last name is going to do the trick,” she responded before she could remind herself to keep from being too mean. This situation was hardly his fault, but Cooper winced at her words. “Sorry,” she said, meaning it. “My humor is a little dry and sarcastic sometimes.”
“Ah, okay. So you’re considering it?” He toyed with the hem of his shorts. “Portia’s marriage plan, I mean. You’re thinking about it?”
“I told her I wasn’t making any decisions until we talked,” Alice answered.
Cooper smiled at her words. She was completely thrown by how attractive he was. But when he smiled? That just wasn’t fair. His dark brown hair was thick and accentuated his clear brown eyes. His cheeks were scruffy from the few days when he couldn’t shave. It suited him, but it hid a square jaw she wanted to see.
Girl. Stop checking out the poor man. He didn’t spend half as much time with me as I did with him. Sure I nursed him back to health, but it’s not like he was awake for most of it. I’m just some poor witch who can’t get her own kind to want her alive.
Alice’s thoughts usually went dark unless she kept herself in check. And she just didn’t know if she should show that side of herself to the man that she could possibly… hopefully …be married to.
Wait. What?
Her own thoughts were shocked by the use of the wordhopefully. Alice had never thought about settling down and having kids in decades. Her life as a lone witch didn’t exactly make for the best setting for that kind of life. Did that mean she didn’t want these things? No. In fact, she had mourned the fact that she would never be able to teach her daughter about magic. Or teach her son. Alice kept that need buried deep inside of herself, and it ensured her survival.
But she refused to be part of covens who used their powers for personal gain. Alice couldn’t even stand those who just dipped their toe in that kind of magic. It was the principle of it that mattered to Alice. She didn’t think that using magic to punish was a good idea or good use. It was meant to be a gift. It was meant to make life better; it wasn’t meant to be used to harm others.
It meant a lonely life, but it might not have to be so lonely if Cooper agreed to the plan.
“You asked Portia to speak with me?” Cooper asked, still grinning. “I said the very same thing.”
“Oh. Good. Good. That means we’re both …” She stopped herself. They were both what? Lonely? Indebted? No. Those things didn’t go together. “You don’t have to feel compelled to do this.”
There was another reason Alice didn’t belong to a coven. This reason was more raw, and though Alice barely admitted this to herself, she preferred being alone.
She believed people were basically bad. People let her down again and again until she learned that the only person she could rely on was herself. Even if she did marry Cooper, it didn’t mean her loneliness would be filled because she was unlikely to let him in.