“Yes, please. I have a feeling we’re going to burn all the calories today. I don’t know how you do it and not eat like a horse afterwards. Seriously, I go on an hour-long hike, and the minute I’m home, I raid the fridge or am ordering delivery.” I pop the pod into the coffee maker, going for a dark, bold flavor to perk my ass up and keep me going. “Anyways, I almost called a girls’ meeting, too, and would have if I knew you three weren’t busy with family. Remember I told you about the guy on the trail? The one whose lab peed on Jolene and me? Well, he was there again.” I take a deep breath, dump in a sweetener packet, and grab the creamer to turn the coffee the perfect color that I love, a warm tone of beige.
“I remember all too well. He’s the one you hate more than Josh, and I think I hate that ex of yours enough for the both of us.” Journey has a smirk on her face. Love that woman, and she’s right. With Josh, I was resigned, feelings gone. It’s a time in my life that while, yes, it made me learn a lot about myself. I still don’t want to relive, so I ignore it like it never existed.
“God, you’re the best, I swear. Anyways, the man’s name is Madden, and he ruined my peaceful hike. You know how I am, a creature of habit, trying to tap into my creative side while soaking in the setting sun, nature, and all that jazz.” I’m exasperated just talking about him. Maybe taking a sip of my coffee will calm me down for a moment. Journey spreads the smashed avocado along the toast, adding seasoning and waiting silently for me to proceed.
“I know. Nico tells me that daily,” Journey slides out. Lucky woman. In fact, all of them are. I know I’ll be in their shoes one day, but today isn’t that day.
“Okay, Mrs. Donotello, go on with your bad self. I see this weekend was good for you, which makes me so happy. Seriously, I’m not being a smartass,” I tell her over my coffee mug as she sits down on one for the barstools, sliding my plate across the counter.
“Continue. I really do want to hear about the man who has you all in a tizzy.” She is being sly. Something is up her sleeve, and I’m going to be her subject. I can feel it.
“I was rounding the corner, you know, the one I always post pictures of with Jolene. Not a huge deal. I’m cool with sharing the space. It’s a free country and all that. So, once I saw he was there with his dog, who is super cute, by the way, but could really use a huge dose of manners, Jolene and I turned around. Then Cooper, Madden’s dog, must have slipped his collar, or he let go of his leash, and came barreling towards us. Not one of my proudest moments either. Jolene is hiding. Of course, that doesn’t help her rear sticking out in the air, so Cooper tries to mount my baby!” I take a bite of the toast, moaning at the amazing food that I didn’t have to make.
“Oh, I can just imagine you. Did you throw yourself on top of Jolene and protect her virginity from Cooper?” Journey teases me.
“No, Madden swooped in and saved the day. He picked Cooper up from mounting her.” I’m annoyed all over again, completely wound up, and I tear into my breakfast, which I’d usually enjoy, except I can’t get over the shit that happened twice now.
“Well, if you ask me, I’d say there’s a lot more than meets the eye for Madden to have you this worked up. What’s that saying?‘The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.’” I roll my eyes at her words, keeping my mouth shut. It seems even my best friend is trying to call me out on something she couldn’t be more wrong about.
SIX
Madden
I’m still recoveringfrom yesterday. Forest’s appointment took longer than expected. So, after a fun-filled day with Piper at the park, lunch at home, her abandoning the idea of a nap, and then picking Cammy up at school, we were back at my house, eating an afternoon snack. And since they keep a few outfits as well as bathing suits, we spent the rest of the day in the pool. Forest arrived right before it was time to start figuring out dinner, asking if Cammy had homework. That’s where I drew the line. I’ve got no problem hanging with my nieces, making sure they’re well taken care of, but homework is for their parents. It meant they had to leave early; we made plans for another day, knowing they’re always welcome here whenever they want, especially since they wore Cooper out so he wasn’t destructive in the least. Even slept through the whole night without needing to go outside. I figure maybe we’re getting to a place where he’s learning what it’s like to be taken care of. That doesn’t mean I’m not still toast after running around my nieces for the most part of the day. How Forest does it with his two girls, I have no idea, especially with Krissy out of town this week. Which is why he went and saw an attorney, a subject for another time since Cammy and Piper were glued to his side.
“Come on, boy, let’s get your balls chopped off.” I hop out of the Bronco and slide my seat up because this is a two-door, and Coop follows. He’s not yanking or pulling. Maybe he’s still recovering from yesterday himself. I figure I’d give him one last ride for a few days knowing I’ll have to switch out vehicles once I get the call to pick him up from getting a much-needed vasectomy. I’m thinking jumping is going to be a hard no.
The sun is still rising as we make our way to the door. Cooper starts prancing and barking, either in excitement or because he knows what’s about to come. Since the last incident when Coop went buck wild, I made a quick stop at the pet store to purchase new harness , seeing as how my big lug could wiggle out of the other one. I also got a new collar, leash, ID tag, and the AirTag I had at home, just in case. Today, while he’s getting his manhood chopped off, they’ll be micro-chipping him as well. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be saddled with a chocolate lab, one that is more doofus than dog, but he’s growing on me.
“Calm down, dude,” I tell him as I open the door to the entrance of the veterinarian’s office. It’s not too busy yet, so I won’t have to keep him on such a tight leash.
“Hi, who do we have here?” a lady at the front desk asks.
“Hello, this is Cooper. He should be under Madden Hughes.” We walk closer. Paperwork will need to be signed before they take him back.
“Here he is. You’re all checked in. Please have a seat. The doctor will see you before he begins surgery.” I nod, guiding myself and Cooper to a chair, hoping this doesn’t take too long. I’ve got some things to do for work. Emails are piling up, and I have to return a bunch of phone calls as well after taking three days off, well technically four, since I dipped out early to run a few errands and then take Coop for a hike where I could potentially apologize to Hendrix, which went tits up.
“If it isn’t Jolene. Today’s the day?” My head was dropped, elbows to my knees, Cooper planted between my spread thighs as I’m sitting in the chair waiting to be called back, when I recognize the name. It’s like Coop knows her name. too. My once calm dog is acting like a crazed hooligan, ass wiggling, attempting to crawl away from me. I tighten my hold on not only his leash but also his halter.
“No, sit.” I can’t even pull a treat out of my pocket to get his attention off the Hendrix and Jolene. Of course, that doesn’t help. I stand up, prepared for him to dart off. If need be, I’ll pick him up like I did on Friday.
“Cooper.” His name is called from the other direction by a vet tech. Thankfully, it moves his attention away from Jolene. We walk towards him, and once we’re close, he says, “I’ll take his leash. We need to get a weight on Cooper before anesthesia.”
“Okay. Be careful. He’s a hound dog and likes to run off.” I no sooner get the words out than the leash is handed off to the tech and Coop is dragging both of them towards Hendrix.
“Jesus, can I get one day of peace?” I lift my head to the ceiling, knowing I’m about to receive a ration of hell. I take a deep breath and make my way to help them, though I’m seriously contemplating leaving and letting the clinic deal with the fallout.
“Cooper, stop. Stop it right now.” Ten seconds, I swear that’s the amount of time I took my eyes off him, and when I look now, he’s literally body up in the air, front paws wrapped around Jolene, doing his absolute best to piss off Hendrix. “Stop raping my angel baby. Madden, do something. Someone do something!”
“I’m sorry, Hendrix. They’re locked together. We have to wait now.” Motherfucker.
“Hendrix.” I try to defuse the situation, but it doesn’t do any good. Her head whips towards me, fury written all over her face.
“Your dog is a damn menace to society. How difficult is it to control him? Now Jolene won’t be able to be fixed. With my luck, she’ll get pregnant, I’ll be kicked out of my place because it was a pain in the ass with a steep deposit to have Jolene in there in the first place, and her getting spayed will be a pipe dream. I hope you’re happy with ruining my life, Madden!” Hendrix drops Jolene’s leash, covers her hands with her face, and turns away from everyone we’ve garnered attention from.
“Miss Drake, that’s not going to happen. She’s not in heat. Take a deep breath. While this is an unfortunate event, it will subside, and as soon as they’re done, we’ll separate them so we can all go about our day,” the lady who checked us in tells Hendrix once she’s calmed down.
“Still, she’s going to need emotional support therapy after Cooper has his wicked way with my innocent Jolene.” I’m trying my hardest not to laugh. This girl is a trip, clearly in love with her dog more than I am with mine, probably because he’s always up to no good.