He kissed me from my ear to my chin, making my body come alive, desperate for more. I inhaled his scent and melted into his touch, enjoying the feeling of having him close to me. Suddenly, I couldn’t remember why I ever doubted our relationship.
He put his mouth to my ear. “I’ve been thinking about you ever since we got interrupted the other night, imagining how the evening should have ended.”
“And how’s that?” I looked into his eyes.
“I’d tell you, but I’d rather show you later.” I snuggled into him, feeling lust overtake my entire body. He then grabbed a slice of pizza and bit a piece off. “Mmm, this pizza’s good. But I stand by my word that you taste better.”
We finished eating and went back to bowling. We stopped paying attention to the score and just bowled, taking turns, finding excuses to constantly touch each other. After some time, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I returned, I saw Luke engrossed in his phone, frantically typing. My stomach dropped, instantly knowing who he must be texting.
I sat down, and he didn’t even lift his head, continuing to concentrate on his phone. I eventually cleared my throat and he looked up, surprise on his face. “Oh, sorry,” he said as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.
“Lucy?” I asked. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me as he nodded. I let out a deep breath and sat down.
“I’m sorry, Jasmine. But I have to be there for Lucy. I have to take responsibility. I can’t just abandon her.”
“Yeah, I understand.” As much as it hurt, I agreed with him that he should take responsibility. But I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, the pain still raw. I wondered if I would ever get used to the whole situation.
He wrapped his arms around me, which began to calm me, and asked, “Hey, do you want to get out of here?” I nodded. Luke paid for the food, then we returned our bowling shoes and went back to the car.
As we were driving home, Luke said, “I just can’t help but wish I could go back in time and tell seventeen-year-old me to do things differently. I feel like I’ve really made a mess of everything. I’m really sorry, Jasmine. I’m really trying to do the right thing—and while I know it’s mostly all my fault, I can’t help but feel like I just can’t catch a break.”
I looked over to him. I could sense regret as I listened to him. After reflecting on what he said, I asked, “Why did you start dating Lucy anyway? And did your parents really not care?”
He stared straight ahead silently. After some time, he finally responded, “To be honest, Blake’s and my parents never really cared much about what we did during our personal time. Don’t get me wrong, they were tough on us with our training—especially Alpha James with Blake. You can’t even call what Blake went through ‘training'—it was abuse, plain and simple. But I think because we were sort of the golden children, they just let us get away with everything. Blake used to have girls in the packhouse all the time, and his parents never batted an eye. But, then again, it’s not like his dad wasn’t doing the same thing, so maybe it was just par for the course for his family.”
Luke paused and I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. He shook his head and said, “Sorry, I don’t mean to talk badly about Blake and his family. That was wrong of me to tell you that. I guess I just wanted to be open with you so that you understand more of the environment I grew up in.”
“Did you have girls over the packhouse like Blake did?” I asked.
“There was one girl before Lucy, but it didn’t last very long. She wanted to keep things secret, and we eventually decided to just break up.”
Luke glanced at me, and I nodded.
He continued, “Anyway, I wasn’t even that interested in Lucy when I first saw her. I honestly thought she was just a blonde bimbo. To be honest, she’s not the type I normally went for. Before Lucy, I liked girls more like you—quiet and intelligent. But as I started speaking to her, I just became completely charmed by her. She has this confidence about her—she knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to go for it. But underneath all the layers, she has this vulnerability that’s so sweet. I couldn’t help but fall for her. Plus, I couldn’t believe my luck that such a hot girl was pursuing me. I mean, Blake’s gotten some really hot girls, but, man, Lucy was something else.”
I wrapped my arms around my stomach, an unpleasant feeling coming over me listening to Luke’s story, but I wanted to hear it because I was curious and wanted to learn more about him and his past.
He must have sensed how I felt because he paused and said, “I don’t have to keep going if you don’t want me to.”
“No, I do. It’s just hard to hear, that’s all. But I want to know more about you, so please continue.”
“Ok,” he replied. “Well, things just moved really fast. Her parents, as you know, are really liberal and didn’t mind that Lucy had a boyfriend. And my parents never really paid attention past my training. Anyway, they were mostly preoccupied with my sisters because they had pups, and my mom was busy helping with raising them. Plus, Lucy’s dad and her brothers are warriors, so both our families instantly became friends. They would say things like, ‘Don’t get too attached. You may not be mates,’ and stuff like that. But they never really pushed on any of those points and sort of just let us be. It just felt natural. I imagine it’s like a human relationship where you just meet someone, and you have no idea if it will go anywhere, but it’s exciting and fun. And you like getting to know the person, so you just keep seeing them over and over again. One day you wake up, and you realize you’re in love and you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. But because we’re werewolves, it gets complicated because we have mates. But what can I do now that I’m in way too deep? It’s like you go so far down a path and it almost seems pointless to backtrack. I hope that makes sense.”
I looked over at him, feeling a stabbing pain in my chest. I’d already sensed everything he told me, but it was even worse to hear it spoken out loud—to have him confirm all my worst insecurities. Up until they were verbalized, I could deny everything, tell myself it was all in my head. Now it was out in the open, and I’d be forced to acknowledge it. He was staring ahead as he drove.
“Yeah, it makes sense. It just sucks,” I replied, not knowing what else I could say, feeling a scraping in my throat and chest. “I just never thought that meeting my mate would be like this. Do you even feel anything for me? Or do your feelings for Lucy just override the mate bond?” I looked up to see that we were in my neighborhood and Luke was pulling up to park his car in front of my house.
After he put his car in park, Luke took my hand and said, “I do feel a lot for you, Jasmine. And I can feel that it could lead somewhere. When we’re together, there’s no one else I’d rather be with. And I don’t mean to hurt you by being honest, but I want us to have an honest relationship, especially knowing that we’re meant to be bonded for life. That’s why I’m telling you all these things. The main problem is that my past with Lucy has created this sort of block for me. And I’m trying so hard to move past it. I really want this to work, and I promise I will try as long as you still want to be with me. How do you feel? And please be honest with me too.” He looked over at me, his eyes searching mine.
“I feel the same things you do. I know I don’t have a past, but I know exactly the block you’re referring to. I think because you have it, I have it too. And Lucy’s my best friend. It hurts me that things have turned out this way.”
He used his thumb to rub my palm. “I’m glad we could have this conversation tonight. Let’s just take things slow. We’re both still young, so there’s no reason to rush into anything. Let’s just get to know each other more.”
The sparks from his touch rushed up my arm, calming my whole body, practically forcing me to forget how nauseous the conversation had made me earlier. I shook my head and asked, “Do you honestly think us getting to know each other more will change how you feel?”
He looked at me for a few moments and said, “Yes, I do. The more I get to know you, the more I like you. I think this could lead somewhere good.”
Chapter 49