“It must be the mate bond.” He smiled. He then put his hand on my knee, setting off sparks, a gentle pulsing shooting up my leg, rousing me. “Touching you also feels amazing. I bet kissing you would too.”
I swallowed, wondering if he would kiss me. Being in such close proximity to him, there was nothing I wanted more. It was like a gravitational pull toward him. It took everything in me not to lift his shirt and rub my hands all over his well-sculpted chest, which I was presently vividly recalling in graphic detail from two years earlier. The image conjured all sorts of feelings within me. If I had believed my thoughts at the time were inappropriate, they were nothing compared to the ones coming to me now. All I knew was, if Luke had been trying to remove my bikini bottoms, there was no way I would have stopped him with how intense the throbbing between my legs was at that moment. It caused me to shift in my seat, the friction at the crotch of my pants practically inducing me to moan with how sensitive that area was. I shook my head, forcing myself to sit still, trying to remove the thoughts from my mind.
I took another sip from my wine glass, now distracted by the fact that I could sense Luke’s similar arousal, realizing it was likely the same for him with me. We were so close together, I could hear every breath he took and feel the heat of his body.
The sexual tension between us was so thick that you could cut through it with a knife. I could sense we were both resisting what we wanted, the mate bond pushing us toward each other. As the glasses emptied, Luke refilled both of them with another generous pour.
Shaking my head again and forcing my mind out of the gutter, I spoke, breaking the silence. “How long do you need to decide what you’re going to do?”
He closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I’ve been with Lucy for four years now. I can’t just throw away a four-year relationship so easily. I feel all these amazing things when I’m with you, but I barely know you.”
His words broke the spell I was under. Tears built up in my eyes, my emotions heightened by his presence, and his rejection hurt far more than it probably should have. Clearly noticing my devastation, he rubbed my knee to show me he didn’t mean to hurt me with his words. His touch calmed me, the sparks emitted from his palms having a soothing effect. “I just don’t want to make a hasty decision just because something feels good. That wouldn’t be fair to Lucy.”
I took a deep breath, trying to understand where he was coming from, struggling to ignore the sting in my chest. Lucy was my best friend, and I knew she loved—nay—was obsessed with Luke, so I knew I should feel more guilt, much how Luke was feeling torn right now. But I couldn’t help how heartbroken I was that he didn’t return my feelings and didn’t want to honor the mate bond.
Luke continued, “I know the Moon Goddess wants us to be together and fated mate bonds are the strongest of all bonds. But they’re not always perfect. You probably don’t know this, but Alpha James cheated on Luna Sienna for years even though they were fated mates. The bond kept them together all these years, but at what cost?”
“What does their relationship have to do with us?” I asked, trying so hard not to feel wrecked by the conversation we were having, doing my best to speak evenly with the acute scratching at my throat and heaviness in my chest.
He sighed heavily and replied, “I just want you to understand why this is so hard for me. I can’t help but wonder if I break up with Lucy for us to be together if it will be enough. Will I be able to just walk away completely and never look back? You deserve someone who’s able to give you all of them. I’m just afraid that my feelings for Lucy will always hold me back from being able to do that.” He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands.
The back of my throat prickled at his words. I took deep breaths, trying to rid myself of the agonizing feeling that was building within me. Finally, I responded, “But we all only get one fated mate and that’s it. If you reject me, there won’t be anyone else for me. I’ll have to hope that I can find a chosen mate. And that’s not even taking into consideration that rejecting your mate’s an insult to the Moon Goddess. You know how religious my family is. My parents will disown me.” I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore as they fell down my cheeks, the reality of the situation hitting me. What was I going to do? Luke was my one mate that I had been planning to save myself for completely, and he didn’t even want me.
Luke looked up and at the sight of my tears, he used his thumb to wipe them away. “Please don’t cry, Jasmine. We don’t have to decide anything tonight. We have plenty of time. But this is what I mean. I don’t want to make a rash decision like rejecting you tonight instead of giving us a fair chance. Can you at least give me the opportunity to get to know you better?”
I nodded, grabbing a nearby napkin to wipe away my own tears, feeling so embarrassed by what a slobbering mess I was being. He rubbed my arm, the feeling cheering me up. That’s all he had to do—just touch me, and suddenly my tears began to dry. He had clearly figured it out, because that’s what he kept doing every time I showed signs of emotion.
Luke then poured the remainder of wine into our glasses and stood up. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get another bottle.” He took the empty bottle with him to dispose of it and returned with a fresh one. He topped both of us off and put the bottle down, immediately grabbing for his wine glass. We both took more sips of our wine.
He broke the silence again, “So, let’s get to know each other.” He gave me a small smile. “What have you been up to for the past two years?”
“Nothing too exciting. I’m taking college classes full-time now, living with my parents still.”
“Why didn’t you go away for college?”
“I didn’t like the idea of living with humans. Plus, there’s the whole problem with my—” I couldn’t say it, ashamed of my biggest weakness, the thing I used to get teased about when I was younger.
“Panic attacks,” he finished for me, being well aware of them, having known me in high school.
“Yeah, it would be too risky.” He took my hands in his, rubbing his thumbs against my palms, instantly sending sparks and calm through my body. “What about you? What have you been up to?”
“Well, you know I’ve been up in Quebec, doing investigative work. Now that I’m back, I enrolled in a couple college courses at the local community college. I figured I could knock out my degree slowly, especially since there’s no rush to complete it.”
“How was it being away for two years?” I asked.
“It was pretty fun actually,” he smiled. “The guys I was with were all my age and unmated, so we’d go out and party a lot. Kind of like a college experience, I guess. When you ignore the fact that you’re putting your life in danger every day, of course.” He chuckled.
“Was your life really in danger?”
“Sometimes. We definitely had some close calls. But you shouldn’t worry too much about that. It’s just part of the job.”
I nodded.
“So, changing subjects, you’re an only child, right? No siblings?”
“Nope, no siblings. You have two sisters, right?”
“Yes, I have two much older sisters. One is thirty-six and the other is thirty-four. They’re both mated with pups. My oldest one, Peyton, actually just gave birth to a little baby boy a couple of days ago. And we just found out my other sister, Lauren, is having another baby. So I’m going to have six nieces and nephews all together soon! They’re a rowdy bunch! Especially my oldest nephew, Noah. He’s a riot.”