“They’re right, I shouldn’t have come,” Jasmine said to me as I opened my can.
“No, they’re not right,” I replied. “They’re just haters. Alyssa tries so fucking hard to beat you at everything. It’s embarrassing because you don’t even notice she’s in competition with you.”
“What?” Jasmine looked at me.
“You should hear her bitching in the bathroom about you every time you do better than her at something. With how much she talks about you, you’d think she’s in love with you.” I laughed.
Some guys from our class showed up and came over to talk to us. We hung out with them as a group for a couple of hours until Jasmine had to go home.
“Are you sure you can’t stay?” Jeremy, one of the shyer guys in our class, asked Jasmine.
“No, you know how my parents are.” She shrugged, pulling on her coat.
“I can walk you home,” he offered.
“No, it’s better that you don’t. I can’t be seen hanging out with guys and I only live a couple streets over anyway,” she said, turning away from him to leave. I walked with Jasmine to the door to say bye to her, then turned back toward the party.
It was well into fall, and the air had the crisp smell of winter. I made my way into the backyard where a bunch of senior guys were sitting around a firepit to keep warm. That’s when I spotted him. He was easily taller and more muscular than all of the other guys at the party. I wanted him, and I would do whatever I had to in order to have him.
Although it was cold, I shimmied outside in just the dress I was wearing, hoping the alcohol I drank would keep me warm long enough for my plan to begin working. “Hello, guys! Damn, it’s cold out here. Do you mind if I warm up with all of you?”
They all quickly moved to make room for me. I sat down next to Luke, the future beta, my ultimate challenge. He didn’t seem too enthused with me at first. However, just like with all males, it didn’t take long for me to captivate his attention. I played the damsel in distress, I touched his muscles telling him how big his arms were, I asked him about himself, focusing all of my attention on him. Before the night was over, I was wearing his jacket and had my tongue in his mouth. Before the week was over, I was his girlfriend.
While my parents had never really been impressed by much that I did, they were definitely impressed that I had managed to catch the eye of the future beta of the pack. It wasn’t long before my parents fell just as much in love with him as I had. Not only was he the future beta, but he was also polite, smart, articulate, and handsome. I had never met someone so perfect before in my life. He made me want to be a better version of myself.
Not long before he left for his mission in Quebec, he told me he loved me, and we agreed to continue our relationship long-distance. I went almost every month to visit him, cherishing the time we were able to spend together. Most of the time was spent cuddled up in his bed, far away from the judgment of our parents and the pack. My parents were always lecturing me, telling me not to get too serious or attached to Luke, not understanding how perfect we were for each other. And the pack was—well, the pack was just a bunch of pearl clutchers. Outside the pack, it was normal to date. I couldn’t understand why we were stuck in the year 1952. Anyway, I knew he had to be my mate. Why else would we have fallen so hard for each other?
And that was when being a werewolf devastated me for the second time. We all know we’re mated to someone that the Moon Goddess chooses for us. It seemed romantic when I was younger, like love at first sight and finding the other half of you. But that was before I realized that it could also break my heart.
I planned an elaborate trip to visit Luke for my eighteenth birthday. Three months earlier, my friend Emma had turned eighteen and realized that my brother Kyle was her mate after months of grossing me out with their constant hooking up. While my brother and friend becoming mates was initially shocking, it made me feel hopeful about my own relationship and that it could happen for me too. In the same way that Emma and Kyle were attracted to each other long prior to knowing they were mates, I was sure it was the same for Luke and me. In honor of the occasion, Luke booked a luxurious hotel room in Quebec City for the weekend. He made a reservation for a fancy dinner at a steak restaurant at eight o’clock, so we would be dining just as dusk hit on my birthday on April 23.
I planned to lose my virginity and allow him to mark me that night, after we knew for sure that we were mates. The act of marking each other by sinking our canines into each other’s necks after having sex would solidify our mate bond. Only death would be able to sever it. That was something I had been looking forward to for years, and I was anxious to finally be bonded to Luke forever.
The dinner started perfectly. They brought out a bottle of champagne to celebrate my eighteenth birthday. Growing up modestly, I had never been to such a beautiful and fancy restaurant. We were seated next to a window, able to look over the entire city, the lights glimmering across the landscape of buildings. We ordered appetizers, dinner, and side dishes, Luke encouraging me to order anything I wanted. By the time dessert was served, I was feeling drunk and jubilant in how perfect the night had been when a horrifying thought came to me. I looked at my phone to see it was well past dusk, and I had not had any overwhelming feeling come over me that Luke was my mate.
I sat there, feeling as if the whole world was moving around me while a hole formed in my chest. I normally loved chocolate cake but found I’d completely lost my appetite and just pushed it around on my plate.
Luke suddenly looked alarmed. “Lucy, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” At his words tears fell down my cheeks, and I was unable to stop them once they started. He then looked at his watch, coming to the same realization I had moments earlier. “Don’t worry, Lucy, I still love you.” He took my hand. I began wiping at my tears with my napkin, embarrassed that I was causing a scene at the restaurant.
He then signaled for the check so we could go back to the hotel. He held my hand as we walked in silence. The perfect night ruined, two and a half perfect years leading to a devastating night—a bucket of freezing cold water poured over me by Artemis. I could just hear her in my head—Gotcha!When we got back into the hotel room, I kicked my shoes off and sat down on the bed. Luke sat down next to me and held me against his chest as I sobbed. How could Artemis have promised someone so perfect to someone else? And I knew, deep down, it was because I was not good enough for him. My family was poor, people regularly gossiped about me, I shunned our religion, my grades were only passable because I flirted to get them, and I would never make even a half-decent warrior. What good would I be to a beta? I was not like my best friend Jasmine who was perfect at everything—I just got by. When Luke came into my life, I finally felt special for once, believing I could be the perfect beta mate and mother one day, and now even that was taken from me.
We eventually fell into the bed together, snuggled against each other. As I burrowed my head into Luke’s chest, he said to me, “I’m happy just lying here with you. I know we’d planned for more tonight, but we don’t have to go any further. I’m happy just spending time with you, Lucy.”
I looked up at him, feeling tears forming in my eyes again. “You don’t want to have sex with me anymore?”
“I do want to. I’ve been waiting for years until you were ready. I just assumed since we’re not mates you wouldn’t want to anymore, and I wanted you to know I respect whatever you want.”
“But why does it matter what the Moon Goddess decides? Why can’t we just choose to be mates? Why should the fact that we’re not fated to each other change anything? We can still decide our own fates. You should still mark me!” I said very boldly, my sadness replaced by anger.
Luke looked at me miserably. “No, Lucy, I can’t mark you.”
“Why not?” I cried, incensed about the whole situation.
He kissed my head and replied, “Because we’re fated to others. You have a mate somewhere out there that the Moon Goddess has gifted to you. Once you find him, it will all make sense. You can’t just throw that away. I won’t allow it. You deserve to meet him and be happy.”
“But I’m happy with you.”
“I know. But we’re still young and we have time to meet our mates.”