“It’s so painful,” she cried. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me, wishing I could take the pain away.
“I know. I don’t know exactly how you feel, but I can imagine. I’ve felt it before too, possibly worse, not that it’s a competition.”
She looked at me, her face blotchy, her cheeks wet.
I continued. “It does eventually get easier. You still feel it, but you’re able to live in spite of it. And you have hope. One day you’ll be marked by someone else, and it will all go away. You just have to tough it out for a bit until then.”
“Is this how you felt when Ria died?”
A sharp pain stung me as she said her name. I flinched, but instantly softened looking at Jasmine. I pulled her closer to me and said, “Yes, but I didn’t only lose Ria.”
“What do you mean?” She looked at me, her amber eyes searching mine, the whites now red. “Who else did you lose?”
I almost abandoned what I was going to tell her, but I decided to push through it and replied, “I never told this to anyone, but Ria was pregnant.” Jasmine’s eyes widened at the revelation, and I continued, “We’d only found out the night before. The only person who knows is my mom. Losing Ria, just her, was the worst pain I’d ever felt. But to know that she was carrying my unborn pup was even worse. I’m not telling you this to say that my pain was worse than yours, so I hope you don’t take it that way. I just want you to know that I understand how you feel and it will eventually get better, especially for you. You have a way out one day when you meet the right person. So please don’t think about death. If I can live through this pain, so can you.”
She cuddled into me and sobbed. After some time, she said, “I’m sorry, Blake. That’s horrible.”
“I never told anyone before now. I couldn’t even talk or think about it. But being around you is comfortable and makes it easier to open up. You’re a good person, Jasmine, and Luke’s a fucking idiot.”
Chapter 58
Jasmine
Myparentsbroughtmehome on Monday night, picking me up on their way home from work. Dr. Luna told them what happened, so I didn’t have to. My mom didn’t say anything. She just sat in the front seat of the car as my dad walked me to the back seat. He then helped me up to my bedroom and into my bed. He looked at me, not speaking. I turned away from him, feeling shame at how pathetic I was being. I’d always read books and seen TV shows with female characters who withered away from heartbreak, and I hated that I was doing the same thing. But I couldn’t help it. The pain was debilitating. Not that I had personal experience with it, but I imagined it was similar to a bullet being shot through my chest.
I stayed in bed for the remainder of the night, only rising to use the bathroom. It was the same all day Tuesday. My parents kept bringing me food that I ignored, not able to stomach it. On Wednesday morning, I received a text from Ivy reminding me of the dinner. I decided to ignore it. I couldn’t fathom the idea of being in a social situation. I heard my doorbell ring that afternoon. I ignored it. I looked at my phone to see it was four. When I didn’t answer, the bell rang again.
Then I heard banging on the front door and a muffled shouting. It was Ivy’s voice. “Open up, Jasmine! I know you’re in there and you’re not getting out of this!”
My phone vibrated and I looked at it. It was a text from Ivy.
Ivy: If you don’t come down, I will have Jack get Blake so he can use his alpha aura on you and force you down.
I wondered if she’d actually involve our alpha in this. Knowing that Lucy got her persistent nature from somewhere, I decided it was probably not a bluff. I forced myself out of bed and walked down the stairs. I realized the pain was less debilitating now, and I was able to walk. I opened the door and Ivy walked in, followed by Jack.
She took one look at me and said, “You look and smell terrible. I knew we had to come early. Come on, let’s get you into the shower.” She pulled me by the arm and had me follow her upstairs where she pushed me into my bathroom. After she closed the door, she said, “Now get ready. Jack and I will be waiting downstairs.”
The water on my body felt good, therapeutic. I then snuck into my room to throw my clothes on. I couldn’t be bothered to do my hair or makeup, and so I went downstairs wearing a sweater and jeans with my hair wet. Ivy and Jack got up from the entryway bench and Ivy said, “Good, much more presentable. Grab your jacket and let’s go.”
Once we were all in Jack’s car, I asked, “Why did you only bring Jack?”
She looked back at me from where she was sitting in the passenger seat. “I didn’t only bring Jack. I’m bringing you too. But the reason Jack’s here is that he used to play with Katie’s son, Tyler. They were only six months apart and used to be the best of friends. I wanted the two of them to reunite now.”
“Why are you bringing me?”
“Because Katie has some things to tell you. It’s about time you finally hear them from her. But I don’t want to give anything away myself.”
I stared ahead at Ivy’s seat, wondering what was going on. Clearly there was some big secret I wasn’t privy to. Even with how much pain I was feeling within me, I found myself becoming curious again, anxious to know what it was.
After driving for some time, Jack asked, “How are you feeling, Jasmine? We heard what happened.”
“I’m okay,” I replied.
“If it helps, Luke’s not doing any better. I’d heard it was painful, but I didn’t realize how bad,” Jack responded.
“Katie was also rejected,” Ivy said. “It took her a long time to recover. I’m sure she can tell you more about it today, so you know you’re not alone.”
When we arrived at the casino, Ivy led the way to the Italian restaurant where Luke and I had gone on our first date. My chest ached, recalling the date. At the time, it was the best night of my life. Now it just brought back painful memories.