“What was so miserable about it?”
“Come on, Jasmine, you know this is not an easy decision for me. I’ve been given an ultimatum and a limited amount of time to decide on the path for the rest of my life. That’s a lot of pressure. I can’t see the future, so there’s no way to know if I’m making the right decision.”
“But you know in your heart what you really want, right?”
“Following my heart got me into this mess in the first place. I wanted to rely on my brain for once.”
We sat there, sipping our drinks and looking at each other. When we emptied our glasses for the second time, Luke topped us off again. The buzz came over me, confusing my senses. Luke was not pouring light.
I felt a desire to move closer to him to calm myself. But I fought against the feeling, knowing it would make this harder. It was hard enough with his scent wafting through the air, making me feel both tender and aroused toward him.
Finally, Luke put his hand on me, and the buzz and sparks mixed, flowing through my body. I couldn’t imagine ever rejecting him.
He quickly retracted his hand and said, “Damn, definitely shouldn’t do that. Fuck, this is so hard.” He shook his head, then looked back at me. “Jasmine, I just want you to know that you’re amazing. You’re smart, beautiful, kind, mature, understanding, and I am not worthy of you. If you tell me that you love me and want to be with me against all odds, I will not reject you. You’re my mate, and I will spend the rest of my life honoring our bond.”
I looked at him, not speaking. How predictable that he was trying to put the choice back on me. Irritating. That in itself should have made me reject him then and there.
But I no longer wanted to let him get away with his indecisiveness and dragging out anything that was difficult. He needed to finally be a man. And that’s when I finally realized what I should have known all along. Luke wasn’t the right person for me.
“Luke,” I said, glaring at him. “Just answer the question I asked. Do you want to be with me or Lucy.”
He looked down at his feet, shuffling them. After a while of silence, he finally looked up and replied, “I’m sorry, Jasmine, but I love Lucy. I can’t help it.” He looked back down at his lap, appearing defeated.
It was as if a knife had pierced my stomach. I clutched my chest, feeling tears fall down my cheeks. As much as I had expected it, it still shocked and wounded my whole body. Luke leaned forward and brushed the tears from my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jasmine.” I could sense his remorse.
“We should reject each other,” I said, feeling an even sharper pain from my words, causing more tears to fall from my eyes more rapidly. Before I knew it, I couldn’t stop them as they tumbled down my face. I could see that Luke’s eyes were also red and brimming with tears. This was paining him as much as it was me.
We looked at each other, waiting for the other to proceed. After some time, Luke softly said, “If this is what you really want, you reject me, and I’ll accept.”
I nodded. We sat there longer, staring at each other. I tried to force the words out, but they were caught in my throat. My whole body ached, fighting me from saying them. “I can’t,” I choked out.
“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. My word still stands. If you want to stay mates, I will honor your desire.”
“No, we need to do this,” I replied, feeling more confident. We sat there longer, and the words wouldn’t come out no matter how hard I tried to force them out. Why was this so difficult?
Just then, the glass door that led to the back garden opened, and Blake stepped in, wearing a T-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. He looked at me and said, “What’s going on? Jasmine, are you okay?” He rushed over and then looked at Luke with anger. “What did you do?”
“It’s okay,” I said through my tears. “We’re just trying to reject each other.”
He looked between the two of us. “Oh, shit. Sorry, I’ll be in the office.”
Before he walked away, I exclaimed, “I can’t do it!” He turned back toward me and squatted down in front of me, taking my hands. I continued, “It hurts too much.”
“Yes, you can, Jasmine. If you don’t want to be with him, you can do it. Just say the words.” We both looked at Luke, who was clutching his chest, not faring much better.
“You can do it, Jasmine,” Luke chimed in. Then he said more softly, “If that’s what you really want.”
“Just shut up, Luke!” Blake snapped at his friend, then turned back to me, letting go of my hands, continuing to kneel in front of me. “Just say the words, Jasmine.”
I shook my head, tears drenching my face and neck.
“I know you can do it, Jasmine. You’re a strong woman.”
“I can’t!” I choked out in desperation.
“If you need me to, I will use my alpha aura and help you.” He stared into my eyes. “Nod your head if that’s what you want.” Knowing I didn’t have it in me, I nodded my head.