The cop car rolls to a stop outside of a small regional hospital and you’d think that there was an assassination attempt on my father’s life with how many people rush out to greet us. I'm not given the option to walk inside, as a burly orderly lifts me under my arms and places me on a gurney. Numerous members of the hospital staff descend on me, taking my temperature, my blood pressure, asking a slew of questions and not waiting for any form of response.
I wince at a pinch in my arm, wondering if they're just taking liberties, as a nurse fills a vial of my blood, or if I'm as incoherent as I heard the policewoman mention on her radio on the drive in. Nothing seems real and I think that has more to do with the fact that I don't want this to be real. I don't need the hospital. I need Liam, but Liam isn't an option. He made that blatantly clear saying the things he did, and then leaving.
He proved that I don't matter to him. That I was a game. That I was a toy he broke for fun.
I'm not transported into a trauma bay. I'm instantly put into a quiet room. I don't speak to them, but I do acknowledge that I am in fact Raya Reed when they ask.
The next several hours are a mad rush of tests and questions that I can't answer. Questions that I won't answer, like where have you been? Who took you? Did they hurt you? I ignore all of them until a doctor steps into the room. She shuffles everyone out and I know what's coming before she even speaks.
“We have one more test, Raya. I need to perform an exam on you.”
“No,” I say.
“There's a chance that—”
“No,” I snap. “I wasn't raped.”
She gives me a small smile as if she doesn't believe me, but instead of forcing the issue, she hands me a clipboard and a pen. “I'll need you to sign this, stating that you refuse to give consent for the exam.”
I quickly do what she says because I know what she'll find. Liam may hate me. He may not see me the way I see him but hurting him isn't the reason for my refusal. I don't want the exam because I know what they will find. They'll determine that I hadn't had sex, nor was I assaulted.
I base a lot of what I know on real-life experiences and I know those types of exams reveal consensual sex and rape. I know I’m protecting myself more than I’m protecting him with my refusal.
It doesn't take long before several men in dark suits arrive to escort me away from the hospital after the doctor leaves with my signed consent form. They don't look happy or pleased to see me. They don't offer any condolences and I get the feeling that it's more because they're just a couple of men doing the job they're paid to do rather than actually caring where their paycheck comes from.
I'm of no more importance to them than I am to Liam. That knowledge sits like a weight on my chest as I ride away in the backseat of a darkly tinted SUV. I couldn't sleep if I wanted to, but that doesn't stop me from closing my eyes in an effort not to speak to them. They don't try to engage me in conversation or questions.
The police detective that arrived at the hospital shortly after I did thinks I'm in shock, assures me that I'll be willing to talk to him, eventually. I heard chatter from the nursing staff. Words likein shock,andwon't speak without her father present,thrown around. I let them make their assumptions. People have been doing it about me my entire life. Why try to change things now? They have no idea that I'm no longer the woman I was a month ago, and I don't know that it's in my best interest to disclose that information.
Somehow, but not surprisingly, the media has already been tipped off. We pass several news vans rushing in the direction of the hospital as we leave town.
The drive is long, taking what seems like forever to get back to my parents’ home. No one but house staff greets me when I step inside the house. My parents aren't there, but I don't know why I would expect them to be. I haven't turned my reality into a fantasy during the time I was gone.
Maybe I would have if things would have been bad. Maybe I would have longed for this house, for Roxanne who's always quick with a warm smile but never really engages in meaningful conversation with me. She's too busy. The expectation my parents have for her is high, just like they have for me.
Oddly Roxanne pats my hand when she approaches. “I'm glad you're home, miss,” she says. “Is there anything I can get you?”
“Where are my mom and dad?” I ask.
“They're on their way back. They had a meeting in Dallas.”
I nod before walking away.
“I put clean sheets on your bed and fresh towels in the bathroom,” she says as I ascend the stairs toward my room.
When I walk into my bedroom for the first time in a month, I notice the only thing that has changed is me.
Chapter 35
Liam
Despite being certain I made the right decision, it doesn't stop that sinking feeling that I'm making a mistake. Before her, life was just a series of days of going through the motions. I thought I was happy. Had anyone asked me if I was before Raya, I would have told them that I was content. My life after Raya will be nothing but hell.
I'm only a handful of hours east of Mission and I already regret what I did. I can't regret putting an end to things because it protects her. It's how I did it that's eating me alive. I despise myself for the hateful, vile things I said to her in my effort to get her to leave. I knew walking away on my own was impossible, but I didn't have to destroy her.
I didn't waste a second getting out of that hotel room. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone recognized her, or before she pounded on the door of another hotel room to get help. I know what angry, vicious women are capable of, and as miserable as life will be without Raya, being locked up in prison without her would be worse.
I stop for gas just outside of Houston, taking the chance of being seen because I'm in desperate need of something cold to drink. The Texas heat doesn't allow for the enjoyment of a protein shake. Maybe I'm taking unnecessary risks because I no longer care.