I’d tossed and turned all night. Having Kingston Grier tell me he wanted me was the stuff of dreams. I should’ve been over the moon excited about the possibilities of dating Captain America.
But all I could think was that it was too soon. And he was my boss. That was not okay. And this could really hurt Zoe.
I wasn’t ready for another relationship. It’d been less than a year since my divorce was final. I still felt like a walking war wound. The thought of all those ugly things Danny had said to me—the screaming, the buzzing silence after—I couldn’t do it again.
I knew that King wasn’t the same man as Danny. He’d never once raised his voice to me or Zoe in the weeks I’d been living here. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Danny hadn’t at first either.
And sometimes the quietest words cut the deepest.
“Shana’s pregnant.”
My stomach dropped again at the memory. Danny hadn’t yelled that time. He’d been so quiet and methodical that day in his lawyer’s office as he ripped my heart out. To this day I still didn’t know what hurt more—that he’d slept with one of my friends or that they were pregnant.
After years of us trying endless fertility tests and procedures, and then that last painful, horrifying miscarriage, my ex had knocked up one of my friends.
Sure, we were separated and going through our divorce at the time, but it’d still hurt. He’d moved on so easily, before our marriage was even over.
Meanwhile I couldn’t even imagine letting someone into my life like that again.
Not even Kingston Grier.
Just the thought of all the expectations that came from seeing someone who had a child and then magnify that because he was KingstonfreakingGrier. Everything about me—about us—would be examined and analyzed by everyone. Media. Paparazzi. Fans.
Ugh.
I couldn’t.
Hopefully he’d meant what he’d said earlier. That we could go back to everything like it’d been before.
Because he was KingstonfreakingGrier. I just couldn’t date him.
* * *
Fortunately, I had a reprieve the next morning since he was gone before Zoe and I woke up. But as the clock counted down the minutes to his lunch break, I was a ball of nerves. I swear I was a twitchy, agitated mess.
Even Mak commented on it.
“Everything all right?” He rumbled from the passenger seat.
I blinked up in surprise. Usually he was silent on the drive to set. “Uh, mostly. Just one of those days I guess.”
He eyed me for a second, then nodded and turned back to face forward.
I passed Zoe a snack from the bag and wished this trip could last a little bit longer.
Of course I wasn’t that lucky.
We arrived at the lot. Zoe carried Bunny and I carried Zoe while Mak grabbed the bag.
“If he gives you any problems,” Mak muttered in a low tone, “you can talk to me.”
“Uh, okay. Thanks.” I honestly didn’t know what to say to that. I’d always known I’d never make a living as an actress, but I had no idea all my thoughts and nerves were so easily read. “Um, just to be clear, nothing like that has happened. Kingston has always been a gentleman with me.”
“What’s got you all twitchy then?”
“Yeah, I don’t think I can talk to you about that. I signed an NDA.”
“So did I.”