“Ya.” That was her word for yes.
I took a deep breath, got up, and made my way to the front door. When I opened it, I saw someone holding lots of boxes—so many I couldn’t see his face.
“Jenner?” I didn’t know if it was him or a delivery guy.
“Yes. Would you mind taking some boxes from me?”
I grabbed a few and stepped aside, letting him in. He put them all on the floor and stood, panting. I didn’t know if I was more shocked at all the boxes or that Jenner was wearing jeans. He unbuttoned his wool coat, and underneath was a sweatshirt.
I blinked. “What are you wearing?” I felt stupid for asking that, but I had never seen him in anything but a suit.
He glanced down at his body and then up at me. “Uh... my clothes.”
It was different. As I stood there observing him fumble with the boxes, I realized I liked him like that. He had always had a sharp side to him, like some unresolved anger bubbled underneath, but he hid it with levelheadedness and fancy suits—something to distract people from his pain.
Yet, that was what attracted me to Jenner to begin with. We shared our hurt like two broken pieces of different puzzles that kept trying to fit.
“And the boxes...?” I glanced down at them, some with bows and others just brown boxes sealed with clear tape.
“They’re presents for both of you.” He gave me the softest smile that made me want to take him straight up to the bedroom and give him his gift.
“I think one present would have been more than enough.” I bent down to see if I could help.
The boxes had names on them. Most had Jenni’s name, but a few had mine.
“Yes, but I never got to be a part of so much.” He bent down and sifted through the pile. “I want to make up for missing Christmas and birthdays. And, of course, Mother’s Day. And the day Jenni was born. Her one month and three months, then six months and nine-month birthdays. Then there’s—”
“Hold up there, Santa.” I held up my hands.
Jenner looked up with worry crinkling his eyes.
“She’s only sixteen months old and doesn’t need all this. She’s not even going to remember that you weren’t there for her first year. From this point on, you’re her father.”
He blinked and stood, letting out a sigh. “Wow. I just never...”
I nibbled my bottom lip, wondering if he had changed his mind. It was something I said. Telling him about his future with Jenni. That was too much. I should have just let him shower her with gifts. Let him do what he wanted.
“Look, Jenner, I’m sorry. If you want to give us all this, then that’s okay—”
He pulled me into a hug. It wasn’t gentle; the only way I could describe it was deep. Not sexual, but emotional. His body pressed to mine told me so much more than what his words could express.
“I didn’t know what to do. I thought if I bought gifts,” he let go and took a step back, “then she’d like me. This isn’t easy for me to say, Lola... but for once, I am at a loss.”
My heart pounded and as I spoke; it felt as if I were walking a tightrope. One wrong word and I’d fall hard, destroying his budding relationship with his child.
I bent down and swooped Jenni into my arms. She reached for my ponytail, which she loved to pull and put my hair in her mouth. “You can start with hi.”
Jenner’s nostrils flared as he nodded. He took a deep breath, as if saying that word was the hardest thing he ever did. “Hi, Jenni.”
She gazed over at him upon hearing her name. I knew Jenner needed guidance. He had helped me so many times back when I lived with my brother, and now it was my turn to repay the favor.
“Try waving. She loves to wave whenever she sees people wave at her.”
He smiled and held up his hand. Jenni giggled and opened and shut her fingers.
“This is your daddy, Jenni. Can you say ‘daddy’?” She only knew a handful of words, so I wasn’t expecting much.
“Daa,” she said, and it ended with a gurgle.