That chilling tone would’ve made me piss myself if this moment had happened some time ago, but now, I can handle Jeremy’s dark side. At least, I’m learning to.
“I actually skipped two. Eli and Landon. It’s hard to consider them brothers when they’re antisocial and lack humanity.”
“And yet, you fell for him.”
“Who? Eli?” I ask coyly, and he tightens his grip on my fingers until I wince.
“Don’t fuck with me, Cecily. Do I have to deal with Eli King, too?”
“No, no. Jeez no,” I blurt. It’s inconvenient enough that he thinks he should deal with Lan in the first place. Add Eli, and we’d have a disaster on our hands.
“You didn’t answer my question. How come someone as reserved, careful, and methodical as you fell for Landon, knowing full well he’s antisocial and lacks humanity?”
I stare at the fire crackling opposite us. It’s dwindled, almost dying down. “I fell for the idea of him, not his true self. I doubt anyone has actually seen what his true nature is like. I realize that now that I know…”what falling for someone is like.
What the hell? I almost said that out loud.
I nearly divulged my deepest, darkest secret and allowed him to hurt me again, stomp on my barely beating heart, and leaving me stranded.
The last time still makes my eyes burn with tears whenever I think about it.
My gaze strays back to Jeremy, who’s never looked away from me. He’s watching me with a ferociousness that could disintegrate a fortress.
In this moment of careful peace, it hits me. I fell for Jeremy the exact opposite way I fell for Lan.
I liked the image Lan projected but was repulsed by his true anarchist, empty self.
I hated Jeremy at first sight. His otherworldly physique and handsome looks were a mere camouflage of a monster, but the more I got to know him, the harder I fell for the hidden parts of him.
Parts that he strategically hides from the world but voluntarily showed me.
“Now that you know what?” he asks when I remain silent.
“That he’s an empty shell,” I blurt. “He doesn’t matter right now. I don’t think he ever did.”
It’s subtle, almost too hidden to be noticed, but a slight twitch lifts Jeremy’s lips. “We finally agree on something.”
I smile, feeling lighthearted and a bit sleepy, too, but I grab his hand tighter and ask, “Hey, Jeremy?”
“Yes?”
“Are you aware of the rumors going around about you?”
His lips curve. “Which ones?”
“So you are aware.”
“More or less.”
“Are they true?”
“If you’re asking whether I’ve killed, tortured and driven people to the brink of death, then the answer is yes to all. I don’t do it for fun or to satisfy any sort of bloodlust, and usually I have people who do the job for me, but I won’t shy away from getting my hands dirty if need be.”
I go still as the dooming reality of his nature slams into me. Suspecting it is one thing but having the proof right here is entirely different.
“Are you scared of me?” His question stabs the careful silence.
“Not you. Your world,” I say after a while. “But I’ll try to understand, even though it will likely take me a long time.”