However, his grip doesn’t tighten around my elbow. In fact, he releases it, hesitantly, as if that’s the exact opposite of what he wants to do.
“You have feelings for me?” he speaks in an unaffected tone, one that’s filled with so much apathy, my spine jerks upright.
It’s like he’s preparing for the blow that will disintegrate me.
He steps forward, towering over me, but he doesn’t touch me. Only his warmth strangles me, and his scent pools at the bottom of my belly.
“Not anymore,” I say with confidence I don’t feel.
“If you don’t, why would you ask me not to play with them? Are you a liar, Cecily?” His chest rises and falls as if in dissatisfaction, in anger.
His muscles grow rigid, and every particle of his body seems to have gained a presence of its own.
He reaches out a hand that appears so large and intimidating. I flinch, but it’s too late.
He’s already wrapped it around my throat, his fingers digging in the flesh with a firmness that doesn’t allow me to breathe, let alone move.
“Responsible Cecily. Selfless, altruistic, sacrificial Cecily.” His voice has dipped, and so have his brows, but there’s a slight snarl in his upper lip. “You care so much about your friends, don’t you? Your family, your little circle of foolish jokes and empty nothingness. You’re the mother, no? The one who ensures everyone is home safe, that no one ends up with a random pregnancy, drinks too much, or is all alone.”
I swallow, but even that is constricted by his grip. I don’t like the tone of his voice or the darkness coating it.
It’s like I’m talking to that masked stranger in the forest that first time.
As if we’re back to square one.
“And yet, you dropped Annika off your list so easily. You know exactly how lonely she is, how ecstatic she was to make friends. I don’t give a fuck if anyone else removes her from their lives as if she were never there, butyou, you’re a fucking liar, Cecily.”
He releases me with a jerk, and I stumble backward on shaky legs that barely hold me upright.
His words might as well be a knife slashing through my chest and lodging in my bones.
So this is what he’s been mad about. It’s probably why he cut me off completely, too.
I resist the need to massage where he gripped me. “I love Anni, I really do, but I don’t like what she did to Creigh.”
“Are you Creighton?”
“Huh?”
“I asked if you are Creighton. You’re not, so why the fuck are you acting on his behalf?”
“You don’t understand. Creigh has always been distant and silent, and we thought she brought him out of his shell, but then—”
“Don’t offer excuses,” he grinds out before he releases a breath. “Just admit that you jumped on the bandwagon, saw what everyone else did, and chose to act the same because you don’t like being left behind.”
“I’m not like that.”
“But you are. Didn’t you refuse to do what you craved because it’s frowned upon by others? Didn’t you cry when I said I’d tell them about your tendencies? You’re nothing but a heartless, coward liar. Did you say I was playing with your feelings? Good. That way, I can crush them.” He brushes past me. “I have no use for someone who’s disloyal.”
Then he leaves.
Without a look back.
As if he didn’t just smash my heart to pieces and leave me to flounder in its blood.
30
CECILY