This is what I do whenever she falls asleep or if I’m following her from afar. I watch, think, and try to decide what I’m going to do with her.
What started as a game of twisted lust and beastly desire is turning into dangerous possessiveness and a deranged obsessiveness I can’t put a halt to.
My phone vibrates and I stand, then go outside, closing the door behind me.
I answer with, “You have something for me?”
“Nohello, how is my favorite uncle doing?” Yan says with an incredulous tone from the other end.
Not only is he one of my father’s closest guards, but he’s also been my mother’s best friend for as long as I’ve been alive. A fact Dad isn’t so keen on.
“I suppose you wouldn’t call if you didn’t have information for me,” I say in a businesslike tone.
“You are so much like your father, it’s revolting.” He speaks in a Russian-accented voice, then sighs. “And here I thought the years we spent together would enable you to pick up my superior character.”
“Yan.”
“Fine, fine. Though I’m not sure what your beef is with a preppy kid, I was able to identify and locate the motherfucker. It was a lot easier than you advertised, which is also another word for boring.”
I slide my forefinger against my thigh, back and forth. “Send me everything you have.”
“Nothank you, Yan. I’ll get you a souvenir from England?”
“Thanks. I owe you one.”
“That’s more like it.” He pauses. “I’m sure I don’t need to worry about you, but you’re not getting yourself in trouble, are you? And if you do end up in trouble, you’ll be sure to let me know so I can join, right?”
“This is my fight. Nothing you should concern yourself with.”
“That’s my boy. But don’t get yourself hurt. Your mother is worried, thinking that you’re growing up into this heartless man who’s like a younger version of your father. Spoiler alert, she wasn’t his biggest fan back then.”
I know all about it.
Just because I was a kid, my parents and even Yan think that I don’t remember things, that I was too happy-go-lucky to notice how my mother’s ghosts ate her from the inside out and left nothing for Dad and me.
How, instead of sleeping, I did everything I could to sneak into their bedroom and lie beside my unmoving mother’s side.
Sometimes, she didn’t even know I was there.
Other times, she looked at me and didn’t see me.
Oftentimes, she forgot about me.
“Tell her all is well and that she doesn’t need to worry. I have everything under control.”
“Don’t say that. It’s a sure way for everything to spiral out of control. Promise to be careful, kid.”
“I will. Thanks again.”
I end the call with Yan and go through the files he sent me. My father has the best intelligence, not only in the Bratva but in all criminal organizations. He has a web of hackers and informants that he uses to make himself untouchable and maintain the Bratva as a force to be reckoned with in New York.
Yes, I could’ve found the fucker myself, but that would’ve taken longer considering that Cecily erased every trace of him from her electronic devices and social media and vehemently refuses to talk about the experience after that Russian roulette game.
I could’ve interrogated her friends, but the chances that she’s disclosed anything is slim to none and they’d also grow suspicious. Despite my utter annoyance with the lack of information, I respect her need to tell them in her own time. That is, if she does choose to divulge that part about her past.
There’s also Annika, but when I tested the waters and veered a conversation toward her friends’ exes, she admitted that she doesn’t even know if Cecily has a boyfriend, and if she does, she never talks about it.
So asking Yan for help was the most efficient way to go about this.