“Whatever is the matter, my dear?” Her mother had asked the question without looking up from her perfect stitches.
Felicity sent Delilah another look, only this one seemed to say,See? I tried to tell you to stop.
“I am only worried about not having more suitors come calling today. I expected more,” Felicity responded, hoping her mother would buy into her lie.
“We went for a promenade in the park today with three different suitors, and you want more?” Delilah asked in shock.
“I understand your concern, my dear,” her mother said without responding to Delilah, “but you must let me do all the worrying. Everything will come in due time.”
Despite her fears over the lack of suitors being completely made up, Felicity did not like the idea of her mother taking care of it all. She had the sneaking suspicion that if it was left up to her mother, Felicity’s husband would be chosen solely for his income with no thought given to Felicity’s happiness. She hated that she thought so harshly of her mother, but it was her mother’s lack of judgment and wise choices that had gotten Felicity into the mess she was in in the first place.
* * *
Feigning a headache, Felicity spent the rest of the day in the quiet solitude of her room. The pale yellows and greens of the floral printed wallpaper were warm and welcoming. The gauzy white linen curtains gave the sunlight streaming in a soft haze, warming the room. There was something so peaceful about her room that she adored. Growing up as the eldest of four daughters, the house was often full of noise and bickering. Once she had gotten her own room, she used it as a chance to escape the chaos when her sisters grew too loud, or her mother wouldn’t stop nagging. Eventually, it became a habit for Felicity to disappear into her own world for a few hours each afternoon.
Today, she used the time and space to think about how she would hide the next letter better. Using the breakfast tray every morning would be eventually noticed by someone, and Felicity couldn’t have that. The fewer people who knew what was happening, the better. As much as she wanted to trust Delilah with the truth about her letters, her sister was not known for her ability to keep a secret. And if today was any indication, it was clear that Delilah would not be able to keep her thoughts to herself until the timing was appropriate. So, for now, her secret letters would have to stay between her and Ruth.
By the time Ruth made her way upstairs to help Felicity into her nightgown and braid her hair, Felicity had already found the perfect hiding spot to keep the letters Benjamin sent. There was a hidden compartment under the top of her vanity just big enough for the small envelopes. The desk had a dark mahogany top cut in two places for the addition of both sets of drawers that stood beneath the top. The right side of the vanity top had a small hinge that opened to a velvet, red lined box, large enough to conceal precious jewelry or letters. As she didn’t have anything else of value to stow away there, she decided it was the perfect place to keep the notes out of sight. She had already placed the two she had there.
“I know how we will do this,” Felicity told Ruth in a hushed tone as her maid untied her dress.
“Do what, Felicity?”
“Keep mother from knowing about my letters with Benjamin, of course.”
“Benjamin already? Not Mister Chapman? My goodness, this man has gotten under your skin.”
Felicity waved Ruth’s comment away and asked, “Are you going to help me or not?”
“Of course, I am going to help you, you silly girl. This is the first bit of fun you have had in years. I refuse to put a stop to it.”
Felicity giggled in excitement. Ruth hadn’t been wrong; this was the first time in a long time that Felicity had felt that spark of doing something she enjoyed. She wasn’t sending him letters because it was expected of her or because she had to. She was writing to Benjamin because she genuinely wanted to.
“Thank you; thank you; thank you,” she squealed. “Here’s what we’ll do — I am going to make time in the evenings to return to my room and write a letter. Then, when you come in to help me undress, I will give you what I have written. That gives you plenty of time to get the letter out in the afternoon post. Then, whenever a response comes in, you can hide them here,” Felicity picked up the book on her side table and showed it to Ruth, “for me to check later. If anyone comes in unexpectedly, they will think I am only reading.”
Ruth took a moment to look around the room, thinking through Felicity’s plan.
“It is genius, Felicity!”
“Am I adding too much to the tasks you already do? I don’t want to be a burden.”
More than her mother finding the letters, Felicity was concerned that she was asking too much of her friend. Ruth had taken on several extra responsibilities once their financial situation became clear and several of the other staff had been let go. Felicity had begged her parents to let Ruth stay, not wanting to lose her friend. She didn’t want to add to her chores now.
“Not at all! I am almost always in town or the shops once a day. It will not be out of place or out of my way to stop at the post office on those trips. And if I know where the letters are to go, it will make it easy to hide them. As I said before, I am thrilled to help you with this.”
Felicity couldn’t resist wrapping her arms around her friend and squeezing her tightly.
“Thank you, Ruth.”
“You’re welcome,” her friend whispered in her ear.
When they pulled apart, Ruth had a pensive look on her face. But before Felicity could ask about it, Ruth spun Felicity around and pushed her to the vanity so she could unpin her hair. Only when Felicity was in her nightgown and seated in front of her vanity with Ruth gently brushing out her hair did Ruth say what was on her mind.
“I must admit, I am concerned about one thing.”
“You must tell me. Do you think we should change the hiding spots?”
“It is not the hiding spots, Felicity. I only wonder…”