I offer her a sad smile. “Ma, I doubt I’ll be gettin’ a family.”
“Ach.” She swats at me. “Don’t you be talking like that now. You’re a good lad, and I know you’ll find a colleen who’ll make you see love is worth it.” Using the slang term for girl, which is colleen, Ma grins when I smile.
“Is it?” I ask honestly.
All I’ve seen of love is the pain and frustration Ma has been through. Aye, there were times she smiled, but they were few and far between all the anguish.
“Cathal O’Connor, don’t you talk like that,” she tells me, and slowly, tears still trickle from her eyes.
This is goin’ ta be a long road. She’s not goin’ ta heal overnight. And that makes me angry. He did this. Anger surges through me like an electric current racing through my veins. He’s hurt Ma. I don’t care about myself. I can survive the loss of a parent who was never there, but she’s loved him for most of her life. Married at seventeen, he’s been the only constant in her life. I may have come along after, but the love you hold for yer soul mate is different. It’s life changing.
“You understand that I don’t want this heartbreak for you. Seein’ you like this, it hurts me more than you can imagine. He did this. He chose a life where he was in danger all the time.”
“Aye,” she says with a nod. “But when you love someone dearly, there’s no changing how you feel, darlin’. He may not have been perfect, but love doesn’t ask for perfection.”
Ma has always given me advice. Sometimes it wasn’t wanted, but I always took onboard what she told me. The woman is a saint, and for her to put up with both Da and me, she’s certainly had her hands full. I’m nowhere near as bad as some of my mates, but I can be difficult. I’ve put my hand up numerous times to admit it.
“I love you, Cathal,” she tells me then. “Don’t ever forget, no matter what you do, to make sure you’re proud of the act, proud of the outcome.”
“As long as you’re proud of me, Ma. That’s all that matters,” I say instead, ignoring the fact there are things I’ve done over the past few years I’m not exactly happy with. I’ve made stupid choices, and I know I should pray for my sins. But the church has never been a friend. And as I sit with my mother, allowing her to cry into my chest, I know this moment is the only one that matters. I’m able to offer her some small amount of comfort.
When I pullinto a parking space at the pier, I kill the engine and swing my leg over the bike and straighten up. The memory of losin’ my pa is still fresh in my mind when I make my way to the sleek, black cars parked close to the offices.
I find a couple of the guards standing at the door. They offer a nod of greeting before one of them opens the office and I step inside. I’ve known these men for years. As much as I trust them, I’m also wary.
When I find Judah Venier inside, I’m not surprised. He’s slowly been taking over the organisation from his pa. The man is a ruthless, calculated businessman, a Boss, while Judah as his Underboss is learning from the best.
“Venier,” I greet him as he offers me his hand. We shake in greeting before I say, “I need to know the new times and dates for all shipments. It seems we have someone trying to undercut us.”
“My father explained the issues you’ve been having,” he tells me. “I’ll ensure that nobody intercepts any communication between us. I think it’s best we meet face-to-face until the problem has been dealt with.”
“Aye, are you sendin’ men here?”
He nods. “I’ll be overseeing most of the future shipments. My father has given me the go ahead to take over once he steps down. It means I’m going to have to get my hands dirty.”
“That’s not like any of the other bosses I’ve ever met,” I respond with a chuckle. “Most of them would rather their soldiers or Capos deal with shit like this.”
“True. But I don’t want to be like them. Have you ever thought about taking over and wanting to be completely different to those who’ve come before?” He’s deadly serious. I can’t help but respect him and his choice.
I tip my head. “Aye, I have, and since I stepped up to take over RBMC, I’ve done it the way I wanted, not how everyone thought I should.”
Judah may be ten years younger than me, but he has a competent head on his shoulders. At twenty-five, I recall not being as responsible as the lad in front of me. Far from it to be fair. I enjoyed the danger that came with being part of the club. Even though it led me into some dark and precarious situations. But then I realised the more I put myself in danger, there wouldn’t be a club to come home to.
Judah looks at me with a smile. “Then you’ll understand why I need to do this.”
“Aye, no bother. I’ll support yer choices, as long as cash flow doesn’t stop, and work doesn’t dry up.”
He smiles. “I can promise you one thing, Cathal, it’s not something I would do to a trusted confidante of my father. He’s taken years to build the respect from every person he’s worked with, and I won’t step in and butcher that.”
“Then we won’t have any bother,” I tell him. If we’re getting our shipments, and our payments are coming in, I don’t give a feck about who I work with. Granted, I won’t lower my morals for anyone, but I know the Veniers, and they may be mafia, but they have a code that I believe in myself. It’s the only reason I agreed to the partnership. They may deal in weapons, but they never venture into the sordid side of it. No women, no children. And that’s something I can stand behind.
Judah turns to the briefcase sitting on the table and flicks it open. Inside is a shiny laptop that he boots up. Soon enough, we’re going through the information for each shipment. The next one is expected in a few days, which we’ll be ready for.
I scan the dates and times. We’ll be getting shipments every two weeks. Which means we can stock up the warehouse and get the guns delivered south. We have buyers from all over the country, including Dublin. Once they’re paid up, we ride to the border and meet them for the handover. It’s the only thing about my father’s business I kept going.
I glance at Judah. “They all come in at midnight?”
Judah nods. “Yeah, I wanted to make sure we wouldn’t be disturbed in the process of unloading the goods. And most of the men prefer working at night.”