“And we’ve been so busy lately; I can’t even take my time going to the shitter.” JJ made a face, smiling as she took her blazer off and hung it up in the coat closet.
I nodded while laughing, JJ always cracked me up. “Well, you know you can just pass me along with anything you don’t want to work on.” I told her before taking a sip of water.
Savannah was already shaking her head, “You already work too much; I can’t remember when was the last time you took time off work? Wait…” she thought about it for a minute as JJ looked like she was thinking about it too, “I really can’t remember.”
Shrugging, I looked back at my laptop and pulled up the next set of documents I had to initial and make sure everything was correct. “I don’t need it. When I’m sick, I’ll take time off, but I’m perfectly happy working while I’m healthy so let me be.”
That’s not the real reason why and they both knew it.
Savannah sighed and sat down.
“Shit dude, the last time I remember you taking time off was when we went to Cancun, remember Savannah?”
I paused mid-typing, “Was it?”
Savannah nodded, “Yeah, I remember now. Seriously, Maya, you need to take someyoutime. It’s not healthy. It’s been almost two years since that vacay girl.” It had only been a year and a half because that’s when Dorian and Luz got together, and I just wanted to be someplace else. They forgot that I felt myself becoming depressed, and I didn’t want that, so I started doing Yoga and seeing a therapist after that vacation.
“Look, we’re telling you because we’re friendsandfamily.” JJ added.
Resting back in my chair, I thought about it for a moment, “I know you’re both right; it’s just hard, you know. Being alone with my thoughts it’s not something I want to do. It gets –“ I paused not knowing how to explain it.
JJ walked over to give me a bar of chocolate she took out of her drawer, “I know.”
“I have an idea; why don’t we look into a spa weekend or something like that. You don’t have to go so far away or do anything crazy, just some pampering and what about a hiking trip?”
“I’m down!” JJ said immediately.
“You waste no time, but I don’t know I still have three closings this coming week, plus I’m already talking to two more potential clients. We’re busy.” I’d love to hang out with the girls, we just weren’t twenty anymore and to me work was almost like therapy. For them, work was work and I think that was the difference.
They looked at each other and I knew that look, the look where they both agreed on something they had talked about, and it was about me.
“Tell us.” Savannah said, “has something else happened?”
I rolled my eyes at my phone, “Did you see the group chat?” Aside from JJ and Savannah, we were also a part of a larger group of friends. We weren’t as close to them anymore and that was because Luz was one of their friends too.
“Oh no.” JJ’s eyes widened as she looked at hers and Savannah followed.
“I thought you told her to stop sending pics and anything about Luz and Dorian.” Savannah was annoyed with Brenda; they used to be closer friends, but Savannah decided to change her outlook on life and was all about positivity and keeping the negative vibes away, drama free and all. JJ and I were on the same page with her on that but not the rest of our friends.
There was a clear divide between us when Luz and Dorian started dating. Yes, it was me who ended things, but I had a right to, and if he ever loved me at all, why would he leave it up to me to decide the fate of our relationship? The only reason I walked away was because he didn’t want this, not really. He wasn’t ready to commit, he didn’t show me he cared, and he let me walk away. He let his friends get between us just because I was in a better place than they were. Dorian and I had very similar views on life, and even though he talked about doing all the things he wanted to do, travel, become the engineer he wanted to be, he wanted to do those thingssingle. That was what broke us, I wanted to do those things with him, but he didn’t want to do those things with me. His friends were mostly all single people that got together and went out to party and just get wild, while I wanted to build a future with him. He just wasn’t readythen.
“How many times did I want him to take me seriously and now look at him doing all the things with her.” Why her? Was the question I didn’t say out loud. As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t because he didn’t lie to me about it; he was single a year and a half before he started dating her before the last time – I ever saw him again. We avoided each other going to events where we had friends in common, I knew it was stupid and childish, but they were avoiding me too. Only our group of friends knew about our past. Luz and I never had a conversation about it, but the rest of our friends did, and that’s where the divide was. Some agreed that she was wrong to break the girl code, which I thought we all understood. Some disagreed with that and supported their relationship. It may sound stupid, but what are words if they don’t mean anything anymore?
I never told anyone to take any sides, even though I could have because I made it clear that I loved him, and it wasn’t even a messy breakup, but don’t they say those are the ones that hurt the most? Especially when it hadn’t really been three years since I had seen him like they thought.
My heart ached, it did, and the more we sat around talking about him, the worse it was.
“Fuck it.” I said standing up and going over to the girls. They looked up at me surprised, “Let’s do this trip, but I want to pick where we’re going.” Just like that the switch in brain flipped. Why can’t I live the life I wanted? Didn’t matter that I was single; if I wasn’t meant to be with the love of my life living our best life, why couldn’t I do it with my best friends?
They looked at each other and then back at me, “Deal.” They said in unison.
“Fucking Colorado, we. are in. you.” JJ shouted on her way up the steps of the resort we were staying at.
Savannah came up beside me and put an arm around me, smiling up at JJ. “Yes, we are!”
None of us had been to Colorado yet, and I thought it be a great first-time experience for us.
“This place is great. It has everything we need and then some.” I told them as we walked into the cabin-style reception area. It was luxurious, and I was happy that it was better than how it looked on the pics online when we were booking it.