You pretty much kept to yourself, and I was too nervous to approach you back then.
Kate blinked rapidly, rereading his last comment.I was too nervous to approach you…What did he meanhewas too nervous? He was one of the most popular boys in school. He played in the first fifteen, excelled at athletics, and he’d even competed in an interschool cycle race and won. In what world was Anaru Kahurangi too nervous to approachher?
Kate?
Sorry, I’m just in shock, I think. I didn’t think you noticed me.
Oh, I noticed you alright. But I was just a jock, and you were way out of my league.
Kate reached forward and grabbed the bottle of wine from the table, inspecting how much she’d had to drink. Only a few glasses. Not nearly enough to be hallucinating. She shook her head, letting it fall to the back of the couch so she could stare at the ceiling. Every cell in her body longed for this to be real, but her brain wouldn’t allow it. There had to be some mistake. They hadn’t both been pining for the other and too scared to do anything about it; that would mean they’d wasted all these years. So much time that could have been theirs to share.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and forced her eyes back to the screen, scrolling back through the messages and rereading each one carefully.
There was no mistaking it. Even her always-searching-for-a-loophole brain had to agree. He felt for her what she felt for him. All this time, they’d been longing for each other and never knew.
Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she hovered her hands over the keyboard, trying to come up with the words to articulate how she felt.
Did I say something wrong?
No. Never. I’m just trying to make sense of things.
I thought you knew.
How could I possibly have known that? We hardly said two words to each other.
Kate, I’m in construction. I work with my hands. Why would I have taken economics and history? I made sure to be in the classes you were in.
You really had no idea?
Not a clue. I can tell you, if I had known…
Kate stopped herself, unsure how honest to be. This was the man who’d been in her every dream throughout high school and, if she was completely honest, college too. What she would give to turn the clock back. To have the chance to relive it all over again, only this time, unafraid of reaching out. How different would her life had turned out, she wondered. Would she have achieved all that she had if either of them had spoken up?
The ache inside her chest told her it would’ve been worth it, regardless. What good was a successful career and money if you had no one to share it with? Being at the top of her game all the time meant having very little social life. She lived and breathed her cases, giving her clients her all, but it was becoming increasingly clear, she’d missed out. She’d been so caught up in being the best, she didn’t stop to actually live and enjoy the life she’d worked so hard for.
Inhaling a deep breath, she closed her eyes and stretched her neck side-to-side. It was time to take life by the balls and show it what she was made of. Time to give new meaning to her nickname.
… if I had known, I would’ve told you I felt the same way about you.
Kate blew into the office with an armload of files under her arm and a stern expression on her face. Claudia, her PA, fell into step beside her.
“How’s my schedule for today? I need you to get hold of corrections and arrange a meeting with Kara Watson. I need to go over her statement again.”
“Yes, Miss Richardson. I’ll get right onto that.” Claudia checked her notepad. “You’ve got a ten fifteen with Bobby Maguire, and a sit in with Jarod at eleven.”
Kate nodded, brushing past Claudia’s desk and straight through to her lavish corner office. “Okay, see if you can get me in with Kara late afternoon. That’ll give me time to go over things with Jarod.” She stopped at her desk, dropping the files into a tray. “Anything else?”
Claudia could barely contain her smile as she nodded. “They’re waiting for you in conference room one.”
Kate stifled a sigh as she lifted her head skyward. She should’ve known. “Okay, I’ll be right there. Just give me a minute.”
“Of course. I’ll get onto that appointment for you.” Claudia ducked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
“Jesus Christ,” Kate hissed under her breath. Was it too much to ask that she be allowed to forget about Monroe Wilson and what he did? Even for one day?
Normally, she’d be all for celebrating the wins, but this one just felt wrong. She didn’t want to celebrate her part in letting a brutal sex offender walk free. Her part in destroying that poor girl’s life. She wanted to pretend the world was a better place than that. A place where women could wear what they want and go where they want without being judged and blamed for what some men assumed was their God given right.
She sucked in a breath, craning her neck side-to-side to work out the kinks that had found their way back as soon as she’d stepped foot in the office. For the first time in her career, she was having doubts about her future in this profession. Could she really sit back and allow these things to happen?