Pinching the bridge of my nose, I closed my eyes, trying to muster up a fuck to give. Even just a tiny one. I was already in a house I didn’t want to be in for a mother who couldn’t bare the tiniest emotions for me.Fuck, I am just like mom, except instead of pining for a man’s approval, I’m desperately begging for love from my own mother.
“Mom, I really don’t want to do this right now.” I swallowed back the ball of air that was stuck in my throat. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, threatening to break free, but I refused to give in. Crying would result in nothing. She didn’t care, and I needed to remind myself of that fact.
Mom’s slender hand wrapped around my wrist, and she pulled me close. It was almost like she was hugging me. And I stupidly stumbled into it. I knew better. I knew my mother better than I knew myself, but I couldn’t stop my reaction even if I wanted to.
“Kee, this is a new start for both of us. You can have whatever you want here, things I could never give you.” She pulled my hair free of the ponytail I had it up in. Chocolate brown strands with light blond highlights fell over my face. I had fun on my sixteenth birthday. I bleached my hair, trying something new and maybe trying to look more like my mother so maybe she’d take an interest in me. It was stupid, and the memory came barreling through.
I clung to the false affection I was receiving from her. She finger-combed my hair, and it was so soothing that I just gave in to the manipulation.
“I had everything I needed before.”
“No, you didn’t. You made do with what we had, but now you can want things. Like the doll house with four stories.”
I hadn’t wanted that doll house since I was six. It seemed to be the only thing my mother ever remembered about me. Still, it had my heart beating faster and nostalgia making me into the perfect pawn.
“I don’t need a doll house.”I need my mom.
“That doesn’t matter now that we can be a real family and finally be happy. Not wanting for anything.”
Happy?She’d said we as if she truly was including me in this dream of happiness. The tiny voice in the back of my head reminded me that my mother would gladly claim happiness if it meant leaving me on the side of the street. However, I inhaled her perfume, and it was the same as it had always been. Warmth soaked into me, and I gave up.
“Where is the party? And who’s this friend of yours?” I asked.
Mom squealed and squeezed me tight. My eyes fluttered closed, and for a second, I soaked it all in the affection I craved and dreamt of a universe when the hug wasn’t a ploy of manipulation but one of true love.
However, that wasn’t my life, and it never would be. I took in a deep breath. I put my big girl panties on and faced my new life. I’d learn to survive it and then I’d take it by the reins and lead it.
The party was a snooze fest,but that was always the case with the clean and overly privileged. The first few hours of their parties were all upstanding, and people walked around in suits and dresses fit for a formal ball. It was annoying, and the worst part of being an heir was that I had to attend. No matter how above it I was, connections were the only way to move forward in the world, especially one built on money and greed. I was over it and more than ready to walk out.
“Luxious Rodell.”
I sighed and gave the girl who called my full name as if no one at the damn party knew who I was. She was cute enough with blonde hair and blue eyes, along with a button nose. She looked sweet as pie. Definitely not my type. She screamedtoo good,and I was the furthest thing from it.
She took a step toward me, and an arm blocked her way instantly. She looked away from me as Rem grabbed the girl’s chin and tilted her head up slightly. “Aww, such a pretty girl. You really should stay clear of bad boys.”
Rem smiled sweetly, and the girl swooned for her. Rem was always that way. She could get a nun to question her vow and sexuality. She wore a suit like most of the guys at the party. She was five-eleven, towering over most women in attendance. Her hair was cut short, and piercings decorated her ears.
She might have been warning the blonde away from me, but Rem was just as bad, if not worse. She came from one of the most dangerous biker gangs in Aridole. No matter how she’d been denied to be a patch member, it didn’t mean that Rem wasn’t trained like one.
“But, um, I um.” The girl couldn’t get her words together when faced with Rem.
She had no chance of coming to me. Good. I’d end up breaking someone as fragile as her, and she’d be no better than most of the women in this world married to monsters. Empty cracked vases that wouldn’t even be used but still looked too pretty to trash.
I returned to surveying the crowd as I sipped the bourbon in hand. It was the same old faces. All the kids from big wigs in Aridole were attending. Most of them hoped to make connections where they could, and some were just ensuring they showed face. It was the same every year, a party before school was let back in.
I’d see to it that it was my guys and me. No one would rule over me. People didn’t cross a Rodel, ever, and no Rodel kneeled for another. I pushed my fingers through my thick dark brown hair. It was just above my ears and fell right back into place once I dropped my hand.
“Rem is getting a new number already?” Hawke said in his smooth voice.
I didn’t jump or so much as show an ounce of reaction. Hawke was the only man ever to sneak up on me. If my father ever found out, he’d give me one of his famous lessons to ensure I never let it happen again. Hawke had been sneaking up behind me since we were kids.
I glanced over at my friend, my brother. The scar that sliced through his left eyebrow and down his cheek made his heterochromia eyes stand out even more than they already did. His high cheekbones and angular face drew more attention to him. Still, he moved around as if he could blend into the wall.
Rem was always getting numbers. She saved most of us from dealing with the bullshit. I grunted in answer and sipped at my drink, enjoying the alcohol’s slight burn as it washed down.
“How much longer are we staying?” Rem asked, joining us now that she was done playing with the innocent.
I lifted my left arm and looked at the Rolex. “Another twenty minutes up here, and then we move to the real party.”