I even admit that I’m feeling lonely, not just alone.
“I’ve been trying so hard to not let myself dwell on the past or worry about the future,” I say, remembering the kindly meant advice from my new bell-ringing friend. “I’ve been trying to stay in the moment. But, it seems to me, being in the moment is what got me into this mess to begin with.”
“But what if it doesn’t have to be a mess?” Mere asks.
“My boss knows I had sex with his son. On the floor of his office.”
“Well, it’ll be your office soon.”
I roll my eyes. “You really think he’s going to hand his company over to me instead of his son? Especially after…”
I shake my head. I can’t relive that moment again. It’s too humiliating.
“For what it’s worth, I think you should keep living in the moment,” Ivy speaks up at last. “You need a break from worrying about everything else.”
“Easier said than done.”
“It is,” she agrees. “But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t let fear keep you from opening your heart. Yes, you risk being heartbroken. But that’s better than living your life with regret.”
My sister’s words resonate in my head long after we end our video call and they go back to their adventures.
Once again, I find myself with two options. I can sit and wallow, wondering what might happen. Or, I can go to the party tonight and find out what awaits me.
I’m not sure which option will leave me with fewer regrets.
EIGHT
JONAS
Holly disappears through the door at lightning speed. I’m torn between chasing after her and giving my father an earful about his jackass comment.
Remembering Holly’s advice from last night—to have a serious conversation with my dad—staying to talk wins out. I’ll be able to face her better later if I can tell her I did this now.
“Dad,” I say through gritted teeth. “We need to talk.”
“I’ll say.” Dad rubs his forehead. “What were you thinking? Sleeping with Holly? She’s not the kind of girl you love and leave.”
“I’m well aware of that fact, Dad.”
My quick agreement seems to take some of the heat out of his irritation. “So, what? Are you two together now?”
“We didn’t exactly have a chance to get around and put labels on things.” I clench and unclench my hands at my sides. “But I hope there’s a future in this. I like her. A lot.”
“Well, shit.” Dad gives a sheepish grin. “Then I’m happy for you, son. You couldn’t find a better girl to spend your life with.” His smile slips away, replaced by a frown. “Of course, that’ll really complicate things when you’re CEO. She’d be your direct report, which—I know, I know—isn’t as bad as if she was your secretary. But it’ll still raise some eyebrows.”
“That’s another thing we need to talk about, but first things first.” I sigh and motion for him to sit behind his desk. Once he does, I sink into one of the guest chairs across from him. “Dad, I need to tell you I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For not getting it. When Mom died.” My voice shakes a little and I take a second of breathing in deeply to calm myself. “I shouldn’t have accused you of not loving her. I shouldn’t have accused you of cheating. I know you loved her. You took such good care of her those last months. And I know you and Joyce didn’t get together until after. It just…”
“It seemed like I was moving on too fast.”
“It did.”
“It probably also didn’t help that you caught us in a somewhat compromising position in one of the supply closets.”
“Yeah, that definitely didn’t help.” I flinch at the memory of that. “But I should have given you a chance to explain more. I should have listened.”