‘Hi,’ he says. ‘Did I startle you?’
‘Yes, no, I mean … I wasn’t startled!’ I stammer. What’s wrong with me? Why couldn’t I have said hello like a normal person?
In my place, Suzy would have flicked him an indifferent look and walked away. I’ve seen her do it a thousand times, leaving her poor victim staring after her, mesmerised. But I’m not Suzy and never will be. If Alex likes me, it will have to be for who I am, not for who I’m not. Even in my besotted state, I know that would never work.
He gestures to my glass. ‘What are you having?’
‘Erm …’ I stare helplessly at my glass, my brain numb. What am I drinking? It could be rubbing alcohol as far as my brain is concerned.
He grins. ‘Never mind. I’ll have a beer. It’s lovely to see you again, Annie. How have you been?’
‘Fine, thanks,’ I manage. ‘You?’
‘Not too bad. I’ve been hoping to see you again.’
I feel a thrill of pleasure. The words are simple enough, but his tone is unmistakeable. I search frantically for something to say. I want to say something witty, but my mind remains obstinately blank. I stare at him in silence, and he grins again.
‘That’s ok. You’re probably trying to find a polite way to tell me you don’t even remember me.’
I manage to find my voice at last. He must think me an absolute idiot. ‘Of course I remember you!’ I say, annoyed to hear my voice come out in a strangled squeak.
‘Glad to hear it,’ he says. ‘How’s the course going?’
‘Fine, thanks. How’s the new job?’
‘Also fine, thanks,’ he says with a slight smile.
Are we going to spend the entire evening discussing our jobs and studies? What happened to the easy camaraderie we enjoyed during that halcyon afternoon in the summer?
He seems to sense some of what I’m thinking. ‘Now that we have that out of the way, would you like to dance?’
I give a sigh of relief. ‘I’d love to.’
I put down my drink and take his outstretched hand. He leads me into the other room where several couples are dancing energetically.
My heart sinks.Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeerisn’t the most romantic start to the evening.
Alex doesn’t let go of my hand. ‘Shall we come back and try a bit later?’
The noise has reached such a crescendo that I can’t make my voice heard, so I just nod. He points towards the room we came from, and we walk back together. He hasn’t let go of my hand. I try not to read too much into it. The hallway is packed, and it makes sense for us to stay together. But I can’t help a thrill of excitement at the feel of his touch. His hand is warm and his clasp firm. I just about manage to restrain myself from twining my fingers between his. If he only means to guide me, it would be beyond embarrassing to attempt such an intimate gesture.
He draws me inside the room. ‘That’s better. I’m starting to feel my age.’
‘All the noise?’ I ask, amused.
‘It’s depressing, isn’t it? I went to parties far noisier than this while I was at university and never thought anything of it. You’re still at university, aren’t you? Perhaps you haven’t yet reached that stage.’
‘I’m not much of a one for loud parties,’ I say. I don’t add that I’d have gone to any party, however noisy, if there had been a chance of seeing him there.
‘Mira and I are old friends,’ I say. ‘This party seemed a good opportunity to catch up with everyone.’
‘What would you like to drink?’ he asks.
‘Not the wine I tried earlier. It was like paint stripper.’
‘I paid a lot for that bottle,’ he says with a hurt expression.
I clap my hand to my mouth. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I don’t know much about wine.’