“The sheriff?”
“She could send out a search-and-rescue team. I volunteer for them sometimes. If anyone’s going to find Finn, they will.”
Just then Zadie felt a vibration in her jacket pocket. It was Finn’s phone. She pulled it out and tapped the screen to life. On it was a text from Kathy:
WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?
WHERE ARE YOU?!
Zadie’s mouth felt dry. If they called the sheriff’s department, they would have to tell Steve and Kathy about Finn’s disappearance. If the Andersons found out, their trip was over; their search for their mother was over. And as resistant as Zadie was at the beginning of their journey, she was invested now. So was Finn. If her sister had to go home early because Zadie contacted her foster parents, she would probably never forgive her. She finally had her sister back, and she wasn’t going to give her up that easily.
Zadie returned the phone to her pocket. “There’s one thing we haven’t tried yet.”
Myron studied her, then said warily, “And what’s that?”
“I just need a minute alone.”
Joel and Myron looked at each other. Zadie didn’t wait for them to answer. “Please?” She thought it best not to share that the only recent success she’d had at deliberately using her psychic ability had been during a round of Psychic Karaoke.
“Sure.” Myron climbed to his feet and gestured for Joel to follow.
“We’ll be right outside if you need us,” Joel said tentatively, before ducking back out into the rain.
Zadie waited until Joel and Myron were out of sight, then crossedher legs in front of her. If Finn could draw out her gift, so could she. After all, she’d mastered the art of pushing it away; she just had to do the opposite.
She had to relax.
Zadie drew in a deep breath and focused on the hammering of the rain on the forest canopy. She had never tried meditating before, but her impression was that it was about emptying your mind of all thought—a task, she soon realized, that was easier said than done. As soon as she closed her eyes, her worries started buzzing around her like gnats.
What if Finn’s hurt?
What happens if I don’t find her?
Am I doing this right?
Who am I kidding? I can’t do this.
We should call the sheriff.
Flustered, Zadie’s eyes popped open. “Fuck.” She took another drag of damp air, felt her stomach rise and fall. “Come on. You can do this,” she whispered on the exhale. She closed her eyes again and tried to think of something relaxing.The beach…
Warm sand. Sea breeze. Sun glinting off the water.
A good book and a good chair.
Waves tumbling and breaking.
Her mother beside her, pointing to a storm on the horizon.
Nora wading into the ocean as the waves turn gray.
A wave swallowing her whole.
Zadie shook her head in frustration. If the beach couldn’t mollify her, then what could? Maybe she was doing it wrong. She needed something to focus on that had no expectations of her, that didn’t try to force her to be happy but allowed her to find peace in whatever she was feeling.
Zadie placed her hands on her abdomen and began to hum.
She didn’t think about what she was humming at first. She couldn’t even hear herself over the rain. She could just feel the vibrations in her throat. Once she realized what the melody was, lyrics began to mold themselves around the notes, dove-soft syllables that melted like wafers on her tongue.