Your girls?
Confusion like oil, fogging her eyes.
A flock of geese flew overhead. Wren watched them, rapt, unblinking.
I have to go.
And then she was gone.
Rowan ran over, held out her palm. Four letters were written on it:
N-E-S-T
There were other letters, too, but the ink was smudged, illegible.
Did she say anything to you, Rowan?
She said to come find her.
Is that all she said?
Rowan blinked.She called me Zadie.
Thunder rolled across Zadie’s pillow. Her eyes fluttered open just as the first spots of rain dotted the windowpane. She turned to see Finn’s side of the bed rumpled but empty.She must be at breakfast.Zadie was hungry, too, but she was in no hurry to run into Joel afterlast night.He kissed me,she thought, hardly believing herself. It was a fine kiss, the kind of kiss that would have most people buzzing the next day, but Zadie’s stomach ached with guilt.
Once again she had gotten caught up in his kindness, mistaken it for something more. He was there for her then and he was here for her now, but that didn’t mean they were getting back together. They couldn’t. She would be a mom soon, and he would still be the guy who bounces from job to job, town to town, crashing in motel rooms without permission. But despite his faults, Joel still deserved better than to be her emotional crutch.
I’ll let him down easy,she thought, knowing full well that there was no such thing.
Zadie waited until she heard Joel clomping down the stairs to the workshop before she left the bedroom. By the time she left the barn, she’d convinced herself that Joel might not even harbor any romantic feelings toward her. He’d imbibed that night (at least two fingers of whiskey and some of Myron’s home-brewed beer). His wits were suspect on a normal day, let alone after a drink or two. Her theory, however, fell apart the moment she walked into the Van Houtens’ kitchen and saw the way Joel looked at her.
“Zadie, heeeyyy,” he said, awkwardly half standing at the dining table to greet her.
“Hey.” Zadie’s response was more succinct but no less uncomfortable.
Mercifully, the clumsy exchange went unnoticed by their host family. Myron looked up from his newspaper. “Morning. Pull up a seat. Finn on her way down?”
“You haven’t seen her?”
“No. Why? She’s not up there?”
“She got up before me.” Zadie turned to the girls, who had been uncharacteristically silent since she’d walked in. “Have any of you seen her?” All three shook their heads.
Joel stood again. “You want me to help you look for her?”
“No, that’s okay,” she said, not wanting to repeat the embarrassingdisplay of the previous morning. “I’m sure it’s nothing. She probably just went for a walk.”
“Bad morning for it,” said Myron, glancing out the window. Outside, it was still only drizzling, but the wind had picked up. A storm was on its way.
Zadie took a seat at the dining table and helped herself to a bowl of Cheerios, but after only a few bites, she was no longer hungry. A clod of worry had formed in her throat. She couldn’t swallow even if she wanted to. “Excuse me,” she murmured and pushed away from the table.
Zadie checked the bathrooms, the whole second floor, and the sunroom. She walked back up to the barn apartment, but it was still empty, as were the woodshop and the surrounding yard. Zadie looked out at the gray clouds gathering over the mountain and felt a tingle down her neck. Then she heard the door to the house open. It was Joel. “Hey,” he said, a nervous smile twitching across his lips. “I was wondering where you went. You worried about Finn?”
“Yeah. I checked the house and the barn. Couldn’t find her. Something feels off.”Offwas a mild way of putting Finn’s more alarming episodes, but she didn’t feel like getting into it with Joel right then. She just wanted to find her sister.
“Do you have any idea where she might have gone?”
Zadie did, but getting there would require the Van Houtens’ help. She went to the window and caught Myron’s eye, waving him over. “What’s up?” he said as he stepped out onto the porch.