Zadie hesitated. “Okay. I’ll try.”
“Even if it rains?”
“Sure.”
“Even if there are bugs?”
“Uhh… yeah, I guess.”
“Even if the woods turn out to be haunted?”
“Mom!” Zadie clapped her hands over her ears.
Nora laughed. “I’m kidding!” she said. “The woods aren’t haunted.”
Zadie let her arms fall to her sides, watching Nora warily.
“The tent is.”
“No, no, no, no, no!” Zadie plugged her ears again and ran out of the convenience store.
“Why is she so afraid of ghosts?” The idea of ghosts didn’t scare Finn like most children her age, probably because she was so used to sensing things that were no longer there.
“Because people are scared of things they don’t understand.”
Finn noticed the new freckles on her mother’s nose before she noticed that her eyes were wider than usual, like she was watching a scary movie. Her hands were trembling a little, too. When Nora saw Finn looking at them, she shoved them in her pockets. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go camping.”
Camping. Finn loved camping. Then why did she feel anxious?
SEVENTHE EARLY BIRD GETS THE PANCAKE
Zadie felt the gas pump shudder against her forehead. She had rested it there just as a headache was beginning to swell behind her eyes and the cool metal had seemed soothing.What the hell am I doing?she thought—not in regards to why her face was pressed up against a dirty gas pump, but to the broader question of why she was pumping gas at a rest stop in Middle of Nowhere, Texas, at six in the goddamn morning. Zadie pushed herself off the pump and blinked into the sheet of cherry-colored sky where the sun would soon be. She loved sunrises, but she rarely woke up early enough to see them.I’ll probably be seeing a lot of them on this trip,a thought that was supposed to inspire her but just ended up making her feel preemptively exhausted.
She turned to see Finn heading toward her with two plastic grocery bags in her hands, a bottle of Snapple sticking out of her left armpit, and a six-pack of mini-doughnuts tucked under her chin. “No coffee?” Zadie asked. She knew she wasn’t supposed to have caffeine while she was pregnant, but given the choice between that and falling asleep at the wheel, she opted for the less lethal of the two options.
“Oh, crap,” Finn said, dropping the bags at her feet. “I knew I forgot something.”
Zadie glanced inside the bags.And yet you remembered to buy three different flavors of Combos.“It’s fine,” she said, trying to hideher irritation as she placed the gas nozzle back on its cradle. “I’ll get it. You want one?”
“Nah,” Finn said, popping open a peach Snapple. “I don’t drink coffee.”
“You don’t drink coffee? How do you function in the morning?”
Finn shrugged. “I just get out of bed and then, you know, do stuff.”
“You mean, you don’t wake up and immediately want to fall back asleep?” Zadie said, mystified. She usually spent an hour swatting the snooze button before her day got started, and it took two cups of Colombian before she could safely operate the toaster. She even had one of those mugs that read:DON’T TALK TO ME UNTIL I’VE HAD MY COFFEE.
“Not really. Why would I sleep when I could—”
“Dostuff?”
“Exactly.” Finn popped a mini-doughnut in her mouth and washed it down with a swig of her Snapple.
It’s gotta be the sugar,Zadie thought.That’s where all her energy comes from.“Well, we’re not all as motivated as you,” she said mid-yawn. “Speaking of doing stuff, do you have any idea what we’re supposed to be doing now?” Gas and coffee weren’t the only reasons the sisters had pulled off at Exit 258. There was also the small matter of not knowing where the hell they were going. They had started driving west only because that was the direction Finn saw on their mom’s compass. Two hours later, it was starting to look like they’d need a lot more to go on than just a cardinal direction.
“Not yet. Don’t worry. It’ll come to me.”
“Well, while you’re waiting for Mom’s memory ghost to give you directions, I’m gonna get some coffee.” That came out sounding more bitter than Zadie had intended, but she was tired and wasn’t particularly interested in engaging in talk about Mom before she had some caffeine in her.