“A million snakes.”
“Bloody hell!”
“But Jak, he was smart,” Ma said. “So he’dthought to bring some snake food.”
“A million bits of snake food?”
“Nah, only one,” she said. “But he got the snakes to fight over it, so they mostly killed each other. And the one what was left was the strongest, naturally.”
“Naturally.”
“So Jak talked it into biting Noways Joe.”
“And so Joe turned purple!” Wayne said. “And bled out his ears! And his bones melted, so the melty bone juice leaked out of his nose! And he collapsed into a puddle of deflated skin, all while hissing and blubbering ’cuz his teeth was melting!”
“Exactly.”
“Dang, Ma. You tell thebeststories.”
“It gets better,” she said softly, leaning down on the stool, their lantern burning low. “Because the ending has a surprise.”
“What surprise?”
“Once Jak was through the canyon—what now smelled like dead snakesand melted bones—he spotted the final challenge: the Lone Mesa. A giant plateau in the center of an otherwise flat plain.”
“That’s not much of a challenge,” Wayne said. “He could fly to the top.”
“Well he tried to,” she whispered. “But the mesawasBlatant Barm.”
“WHAT?”
“That’s right,” Ma said. “Barm had joined up with the koloss—the ones that change into big monsters, not the normal ones like old Mrs. Nock. Andtheyshowed him how to turn into a monster of humongous size. So when Jak tried to land on it, the mesa done gobbled him up.”
Wayne gasped. “And then,” he said, “it mashed him beneath its teeth, crushing his bones like—”
“No,” Ma said. “It tried to swallow him. But Jak, he wasn’t only smart and a good shot. He was something else.”
“What?”
“A big damn pain in the ass.”
“Ma! That’s swearin’.”
“It’s okay in stories,” Ma said. “Listen, Jak was a pain. He was always going about doing good. Helping people. Making life tough for bad people. Asking questions. He knew exactly how to ruin a bandit’s day.
“So as he was swallowed, Jak stretched out his arms and legs, then pushed—making himself alumpin Blatant Barm’s throat, so the monster couldn’t breathe. Monsters like that needs lotsa air, you know. And so, Allomancer Jak donechokedBarm from the inside. Then, when the monster was dead on the ground, Jak sauntered out down its tongue—like it was some fancy mat set outside a carriage for a rich man.”
Whoa.“That’s agoodstory, Ma.”
She smiled.
“Ma,” he said. “Is the story… about the mine?”
“Well,” she said, “I suppose we all gotta walk into the beast’s mouth now and then. So… maybe, I guess.”
“You’re like the lawman then.”
“Anyone can be,” she said, blowing out the lantern.