How could I avoid that anymore? I loved him. Wildly. Passionately. Uninhibitedly.
I splashed some water on my face and wiped away as much of the mascara as I could. My hair was a wavy mess, and my face was free of most of my makeup. In flip flops and baggy clothes, I felt comfortable and like maybe I’d be able to get through this without crumbling.
When I returned to the lobby, I found him sitting there, typing away on his phone as always.
I cleared my throat. “Thanks for bringing a change of clothes and candy for me.” Should I tell him? Blurt out my love for him and see if he reciprocated it?
He waved away my thank you. “What do you want to eat?”
“Huh?” I asked.
“You haven’t eaten, have you?” He threw a pointed look at my stomach.
“I’m not very hungry at the moment, Cade.”
He just rolled his eyes and then went back to his phone.
We didn’t talk for a good five minutes as I stared up at the TV, not watching it at all. What could I talk to him about? We didn’t really get along except when we got along much too well without our clothes on.
“You don’t have to stay here, you know? I can send you updates on Lucas when I get them.”
“I don’t need updates,” he grumbled.
“Oh, right. Because you just hack into systems to get all your information.” I grumbled back. Then I ground my teeth together because he’d just been nice enough to bring me clothes. “I’m sorry.”
That got him to put his phone down and peer over at me. As he studied me, I wiggled in the uncomfortable plastic seat next to him. I swear he enjoyed making people sweat because a smile whipped across his face, pure and utter joy filled it, and I was shocked at how young and innocent it made him look. “Izzy, you apologize to me for your anger as if it’s not the thing I like most about you.”
“You like me being a bitch to you?” I curled my lip. “Get real.”
“I do. It’s who you are.”
“You’re saying I’m a bitch.”
“I’m saying you’re fiery and a little off sometimes. I enjoy it. It’s why I almost fucked you in an elevator after spraying your boyfriend in the face. It’s why I fucked you when you spray-painted our bed and when you broke my laptop, and why I’ll probably continue to think of fucking you forever.”
“Can we not bring up my outbursts?”
His smile grew even bigger. “How is Gerald, by the way?”
“I don’t know. He hasn’t texted me since . . .” I threw up my hands. “None of this matters. Lucas matters, and I wish they’d let me back there to see him.”
He sighed, glanced at his phone, and then got up from his seat. “Food’s here for you.”
Confused, I glanced up. A delivery guy was bringing two bags of sandwiches and chips our way.
“Jesus, are you actually a thoughtful person?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
He shrugged. “I’m taking care of my employees.” He emphasized the last word and kept his eyes on me.
Pursing my lips, I nodded and took the bag. “Right. Let me go get some cash . . .”
As I moved to walk past him, he gripped my elbow and leaned in. “I’m not that nice, Izzy. You try to pay me back, and I’ll take you to a hospital closet and gag you with the money.”
His touch on my arm sent sparks all through my body. I ripped it away because I didn't want to feel anything for him. I couldn’t. This wasn’t the place or the time. “You should go.”
He shook his head no.
“Cade, Lucas and I need this,” I said, but reallyIneeded it. I needed him to leave, to leave me with my thoughts and my feelings, and to get a moment to sort through all of them. Love would shatter me, and I think I knew that this was exactly where it was headed. I rubbed at the scrape on my neck that was left from our activities the night before.