“Beau,Beau,” I chant as my orgasm spears through me with no warning. I clamp down around his fingers, and he groans darkly as he feels me spasm on him. My hips lift and roll, dying for more of him, more of him to fill me full, make me feel complete, and make me cum.
He doesn’t stop going down on me, moving his tongue in circles around my clit as I slowly lower my legs to the mattress and catch my breath. A drop of sweat slides beneath my breast into the bed below.
“Thank you,” I say to him before I’ve completely caught my breath, and he carves out a trail on my body, leading to my lips, leaving kisses everywhere he goes.
“Thank you for letting me have you that way,” Beau whispers against my lips. Then we kiss, and it’s so slow and tender, our jaws flexing and closing, hearts beating, tongues moving together lazily. It’s beautiful but also somewhat comfortable and safe.
It’s the perfectafterkiss.
“But I’m not done making you come. I feel like an asshole for last night.”
“Don’t,” I say, reaching up to sift my fingers through his hair. My hands were just in his hair for the last seven minutes, but I can’t stop touching him. “I’m giving you all access right now. Have your way with me. Make me cum a million times. I won’t stop you.”
He laughs as he positions himself to lie next to me. Draping a heavy hand over my belly, he strokes my skin, looking down at me. With his palm to his cheek and his elbow on the pillow, he’s well enough over me that we can really look at each other. I have to take a few extra breaths because of how fast my heart pumps.
“Good.” Leaning down, he nips my lips in a quick kiss before resuming his spot hovering over me.
“Were you scared when you had Jett?” he asks, his hand starting to make slow, deep passes over my lower belly. Shit that feels good. My previously sated pussy clenches at the pressure his hand gives me.
I swallow, taking a second. I didn’t expect talking right now. I thought he’d slide between my legs and fuck me, if I’m being honest. And I thought that I wanted that.
But I think I want this. Because as his eyes study mine, as he licks his bottom lip, as his body tightens as he waits—all I care about is hearing his voice, and telling him things he wants to know.
Opening up.
“I was,” I say after a moment. I don’t rush to grab the sheet and cover myself like I may have done with Dustin. May have? Who am I kidding? If I left the sheet off, Dustin would without a doubt make a comment on my lack of abs and how I needed to tone more, you know, “for my own good.”
“Tell me about it; if you want to.”
I told Goldie all the things I was scared about when I realized my husband was divorcing me while pregnant, but I had to tell her. She didn’t specifically ask how I felt, and when I thought about it, no one did. It wasn’t because they didn’t care because the few people I do have in my life really do care. It was because they all assumed I was sad and that anything that fell outside of that box was a result of the sadness. People couldn’t understand that I was more scared than sad, and when I attempted to talk about it, they would take offense, as if your fear meant they weren’t a good enough ear or protector.
But there are some things that people can’t shield you from. Fear is one of them.
“Would you believe that no one has ever asked me that? If I was scared or why I was.” His hand pauses, and his fingers fan out for a second, but then he resumes his sinful strokes of the top of my groin.
“I’m sorry about that. I think people just don’t know what to say to other people like ninety-nine point nine percent of the time.”
I sigh. “I think you’re right. And people really just don’t try to understand things all that much.”
“They really don’t.”
I twist my lips to the side, not wanting to think about Dustin but feeling like this is a great opportunity to talk about real things, to bring Beau and me closer. “I was scared because of what may sound like really superficial things.”
“Try me.” His hand continues its movement, and my pussy grows warmer and wetter.
“Well, I knew without a doubt that I could raise a baby on my own. Financially, I had my own money, and I also knew my ex wouldn’t leave me broke because he’s a name in his industry and everything was about image.”
Beau leans in and sniffs. I turn to face him, a quizzical smirk on my lips. “You smell so fucking good.”
“I didn’t even put on perfume. I had just taken a shower when you got here.” I cringe a little at how unprepared I was for this date.
“It’s just you. The way you smell drives me wild.” He thrusts his hard cock into the side of me, and I moan at how good it feels.
He kisses the side of my neck and keeps his hand teasing my low belly. “I want to know the rest.”
Wetness pushes against my labia as my body grows dizzy at his touch.
“I wasn’t scared about money. I was scared that my child would have a one-parent life, and I didn’t like the way that looked.” I lick my lips and take a second to find the courage to admit the ugly things. “One exhausted mother schlepping around bags on vacation, showing up to school plays and parent-teacher conferences all tired and haphazard, being the mom in the group ofmoms and dadsat prom taking pictures.” It all sounds stupid, but it’s the truth. “I wanted my child to have two parents. Because I had two parents, and they were the greatest parents. They still are. And I just… I really wanted that for him. And I would’ve stayed with someone who didn’t love me if it meant my child had that life.”