“Listen, Beau; I’m sorry I said those things; it's just…come on. You’re twenty-six and I’m thirty-seven. What this is,” again, she waves between us, “I know my role. I’m temporary. I’m the placeholder until something younger, thinner, and perkier comes along. I’m the woman you heal yourself with while waiting for your own twenty-something baggage-less missus to show up. I get how this works. And that's why I can’t have you making me believe you’re attached to Jett.” Her hand sealed around my wrist gives a meaningful squeeze before she lets go. “I know you like him, and I know you care. But making me believe you’re attached does something to me that I’ve never experienced. And I can’t have it, okay? So if you wanna do this with me–this temporary, fleeting thing–I’m good. I just want you to know;I know what this is.”
The door swings open right as the last word drifts from her mouth, only hanging between us for a moment before her dad interrupts.
“Shit. Did I open the door before the goodnight kiss?” Carl scrubs a hand down his face, wincing a little at his interruption. “Wait, that happens at your house, not mine.” He widens the door. “Come on in.”
After we get a summary of tonight’s episode of Jeopardy, Carl and Nancy offer us some decaf coffee which we both decline. Nancy offers us pie, which we also decline. After everything Beck said to me on the porch, it’s hard to focus on her parents or anything for that matter. Ten slow minutes later, we’re walking back to her house with a sleepy Jett nestled into his mom. I’ll walk back to my car once they’re home safe.
We don’t say anything on the walk, and that’s mostly on me. Beck attempts conversation, asking me if I wanted to stay for pie, if I like pie, what my favorite kind of pie is and if I know the first ten digits of Pi. She’s nervous, and she hates the silence, but I don’t have the right words yet. I’m still trying very fucking hard not to get hurt.
She’s protecting herself and her child.
It isn’t fucking personal. I have to remind myself of that.
Finally, when we make it to her house, she asks me if I’ll hold Jett while she gets the house unlocked. I nod, and when I bring his warm, sleeping body to mine, I swear the tension of the last forty minutes falls away. Something about his little chest pressed to me, his sweaty little head tickling my chin—fuck, it does something to my brain; rewires it from excuses and explanations to pure peace.
She opens the door, lowering the bag to the floor, and as I stand there stroking his head, the truth pours out of me. I keep my voice low and sway from side to side, even though he’s out like a light. Maybe the swaying is for me.
“You said you know whatthisis.”
“I did,” she whispers, bright blue eyes flicking back and forth between mine.
“You don’t know what this isto me, Beck. But I’m going to show you. I’m going to prove to you that everything you think I want is sofuckingwrong. I’ll show you what I want because I can tell right now it’s not clear.” I lean in and lower my voice to just above a whisper. “I don’t want anything to be temporary with us.”
Holding Jett to me still, I lean forward and use my spare hand to wrap around the back of her neck. I bring our mouths together and sweep my tongue through hers, cock hardening when she moans softly. It doesn’t last more than a few seconds, but it is the realest kiss of my fucking life.
I pass Jett to her and lick my lips, hoping to taste the last traces of her. I love that she watches me.
“Goodnight, Beck. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Call?” She looks both surprised and panicked.
“Yep. We had a date. So now I’ve earned the right to hear your voice over the phone until ournextdate.”
Her lazy smile makes my heart race.
“Goodnight, Beck.”
“Night, Beau.”
I’ve got my work cut out for me, but I’ve never felt more up to the task.
If only this was the only thing on my plate right now.
12
Beck
I have absolutely zero desire to see that cheating prick with a small dick and a big ego. Those proportions just don’t work for me anymore.
Beau:Was it hating on Dustin that upset you last night?
Beau:Talk to me
Beau:I don’t like upsetting you, and I want to avoid it again
Beau:Also, good morning. Tell Jetpack I said good morning, too.
“Hello?”