I wave a hand through her words dismissively. “Anyway, when I went back in yesterday morning to get my car, he was like, super apologetic.” I shake my head. “Not the point. The point of the story was that this kid said something to me as I left after he apologized.”
She nods; despite her criticism of Beau, I can see her interest.
“I told him I understood heartbreak and therefore gave him a pass on his behavior. And he asked me if someone broke my heart.” My lips twitch at the memory. To be romanced that way by a complete stranger felt andstillfeels surreal. Stuff like that doesn’t happen. Not in real life. Not to me, at least. “I didn’t answer him, but then he said,whatever he does, you will be his biggest regret.”
Goldie leans back against the cabinets, and Jett worms his way from her grip, dropping to the floor. “Whoa, that’s… quite a line.”
“I know.”
We’re silent as Jett carries a Tupperware lid in his mouth across the kitchen floor like a puppy. His tush sways with each ambitious lurch forward, and I can’t resist scooping him into my arms as I turn to rest against the cupboards, in a much needed break.
“So what part of that has your wheels turning?”
Embarrassment engulfs me now that I’m talking about this to someone. “Well, I mean I know he was just saying that to be nice and cover his ass and everything, but it made me realize, you know, I probably can meet someone one day.”
Goldie rolls her eyes, holds one finger up for me to wait, then rolls her eyes again, even harder.
“I’ve been saying that since before this kid was around,” she says, hooking her thumb toward my lap where Jett is currently wiggling free. Pushing her dark hair behind her, she looks at me seriously when she says, “he wasn’t just saying that to be nice either. Do you remember being in your early twenties? You’re doing you. You aren’t worried about other people’s feelings.”
I nod. “That’s very true.”
“Anyway,” she says, leaning forward to sniff Jett’s bottom. It’s not long before nap time, and he’s due for a change. I won’t be the woman who can’t accept help. Goldie’s here and if she wants to do things for me and Jett, I’ll let her. She is one of the three people I trust. “Thatwasa really good line.”
I laugh.
But as we unpack boxes, clean, organize, and chat, I can’t get Beau from my brain. And even though she stays for a few days, never once do I admit to Goldie that the most hopeful thing about my encounter with Beau was that… it didn’tfeellike a line.
5
Beau
It’s just me.
My dad taught me so much. He even taught me the shit most people have to learn the hard way. For instance, now, at the grocery store I’m buying apples.
Only, apples aren’t a dollar a piece. They’re per pound, and if you don’t put your apples in a bag, six of them could cost you way more than you wanted to pay, leaving you looking like an indecisive, line-holding-up asshole at the checkstand saying, “take one of the apples off, please.” The same rule goes for anything per pound. Always weigh it.
It never mattered to him that he had more money than the day is long; he still taught me how to be smart with it.
Still am, as I measure raw cashews into a reusable bag on the stainless food scale in Sprouts Market.
When I went back inside the shop yesterday, Atticus told me about the woman–who, by the way, I now know is namedRebecca Reid–and that she’s amother. My interest should have waned. She knew about heartbreak, she’d pretty much said, and it gave me some fucked up hope that her marriage didn’t work out.
Who the fuck wishes that?
Me, that’s who.
I slam a scoop full of cashews into the bag with so much force that some pop back out in my face. Fucking cashews.
Whowishes that another man couldn’t make his life work? My father wouldn’t. I guess thatshouldexplain a lot.
Rebecca Reid with the golden hair, hottest tits, and the saltiest tongue… she was just a person who came into the shop, and I know I have to forget her. But she gave me hope.
For the first time since my fatherpassed, happiness actually felt possible. Not near at all, considering she clearly and rightfully wanted nothing to do with me. But still, I can’t deny it was more than just my cock lifting in appreciation to her full, fucking gorgeous curves.
Mychestfelt it.
When she smiled at me through her lashes, my skin warmed and my cheeks tingled like when I first held hands with my crush back in junior high.