I remembered those little blue eyes staring me down when we rode together. He always smiled at me. My chest feels all tingly at the thought. And I realize I’m smiling just thinking about him. He really wants to fucking decapitate that giraffe of his. Maybe I’ll get him another teething animal, like a lion, so we can say he’s so tough he tore the head off a lion. I chuckle at thinking of Beck’s reaction to that, probably looking horrified but then falling into laughter at the idea. Because Jett would be cute holding a lion teething toy. Because he’s fuckin’ adorable.
As quickly as possible, I finish taking it out and lock her car back up, slipping her keys into my pocket. Today, at my place, we’ll get comfortable, and I’ll tell her the other thing about me that she doesn’t know. Theonlything she doesn’t know. And, if I know Beck, she’ll be fine. She may be a little surprised but… maybe not. Maybe she googled me and knows already or some shit? I’m sure it’s online. I’ve been on the local news more times than I’d like to admit. Small towns like their low-key millionaires. Her mom knows, even if she doesn’t remember.
Installing the car seat in my car, I slide into the driver’s seat and make the one-block drive to her parents’ house.
I like her parents. Carl and Nancy are cool as shit, and I definitely don’t see them as the type to deter Beck from being with me because I’m younger. If anything, I think my Jeopardy watching and baby loving was enough to win them over. But I’ll prove to them that there’s way more to love. And it’s going to start with how much I worship and serve their daughter.
Carl and Nancy are on their way out to have sushi, leaving us to exchange pleasantries on the curb. Carl carries out some of Jett’s stuff, and we shake hands. He’s such a nice guy, and when he’s talking to me about all the cute shit Jett did this morning, I think of how much my own dad would have liked him. The two of them would have gotten along well.
Pain explodes beneath my ribs when I realize that Beck will never meet my father. Jett will never know him. After we’re all in my car and I’ve had a solid one-minute conversation with my man Jett, I feel a lot better.
I’m still not used to these massive bouts of grief crashing into me like that. But Jett’s slobbery giggle and Beck’s hand exploring my thigh as I drive have me regulated. Back to normal. Feeling good.
I turn to look at her when I’m at the only stop sign between the two streets.
“I’m glad to be showing you two my place.” From my thigh, I take her hand, resting it over the center console and weave our fingers together tightly. Bringing our joined palms to my mouth, I kiss the top of her hand.
“I’m happy, too.”
And like he knows he’s included, Jett takes that perfect opportunity to shout, “Ma! Bo! Pa!” Even though Carl isn’t here, I pretend that Jett isn’t just reciting names he knows, but instead calling out to us because he, too, is happy to be going to my place.
I’m lost in the way her hand feels so idyllic in mine when she inhales so sharply that Jett’s babbling stops and my head whips to face her.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, wondering why, out of nowhere, when we’re just a few houses away from her place, she’s shrieking like someone kicked her in the nuts. Okay, maybe not like that, but still, I don’t like the shock and pain twining her face.
I follow her gaze to a silver SUV parked… in front of her house.
“Who’s that?” I ask, eyes pinching in on the custom plate. DONTTLK is the custom plate. Don’t talk? What the fuck does that mean? As I come to the driveway and pull in next to Beck’s car, I realize the SUV is empty. And there’s a man on the porch.
Maybe this is the guy Goldie was going to meet and he got confused and came here instead? I scratch the side of my jaw as I watch Beck sit in shocked suspense, not unbuckling even though we’ve been parked for at least half a minute. She wouldn’t have that reaction to her dad’s friend's son.
“Who is he?” I ask, finally bringing my attention to the man hovering on her porch. His head is tipping back against the brick and he’s sitting with his legs splayed out in front of him, arms down by his side, eyes closed.
I know a drunk man when I see one. I was in that melted state of existence for far too long myself. Then the license plate flashes back to me. DONTTLK. Beck’s ex is a lawyer. So this must be Untrusty Dusty.
I motion to the sleeping man through the windshield. “Is that him?” Anger is already foaming up inside me, making it hard to push down or ignore. He’s got some nerve to show up at her new place like this after signing away his rights and basically telling her to fuck off.
Rolling my curled fist into my open palm, I crack my knuckles as I stare at him, doing the same on the other hand.
“Beck, is that your ex-husband?” I ask again, this time not even looking as I ask. Instead, I reach back and give Jett’s little foot a squeeze.
“Yes,” she whispers. “I don’t know why he’s here.”
I face her, relinking our hands. “Do you want to know why he’s here, or does it matter?”
The question is asking so many other things, and we both know it. To not turn him away would be extending yet another olive branch that this motherfucker doesn’t deserve. I’d like to cram that fucking branch right up his ass, as a matter of fact. And while I certainly don’t believe she should give him anymore of herself, it’s not up to me.
I’ve made my intentions known. I’ve called her my girl, I’ve fucked my cum deep inside her, I love her boy. I can’t do much else.
She knows I love her.
Her voice is rock solid when she says, “it doesn’t matter anymore.”
The swell of relief that overtakes my heart is too big for my comfort. I stroke the top of her hand with my thumb. I hate that I wasn’t one hundred percent sure what her answer would be.
She bites her lip, so I lean over the cab and kiss her, hoping to relax her a little. Ever since she laid eyes on Dumbass Dustin’s car parked on the street, she’s been in physical discomfort, like her stress has her in an emotional headlock.
“I’m so lucky we met, so I know that men aren’t supposed to be like that,” she points through the windshield at her “sleeping” ex. “I’m so happy we’re together. You’re a role model for Jett.”