But I need to find the truth. Lennox can’t keep me in the dark. He can’t keep hiding the truth from me.
I need to know the truth of the deal he struck with Vincent. I need to know all his secrets.
I want to know everything about Lennox Corsi—the man who is wickedness himself. A man who is darkness, and desires, and death. A man who has given more than he’s ever taken. A man who has hidden so much from me, and yet I get glimpses of the real man behind his grumpy facade and the pain he’s endured.
I could love him.
The kind of love that is greater than anything else. The kind that endures. The kind that can as easily end in forever like Noah and Allie or tragedy like Romeo and Juliet. Our love is all that matters.
It terrifies me.
Loving Kit was like loving a gentle summer breeze—easy and calm. Loving Lennox is like loving a hurricane—it’s all-consuming.
I don’t love him yet.
I can’t love him.
Not until I know him.
Not until I’ve heard every truth.
Every secret.
Every bit of darkness in his soul and he mine.
And I will learn his secrets. It’s the only way we’ll all stay alive.
Chapter35
Rialta
“I’m sorry,”Lennox says as he slams the door shut back in his apartment.
He’s still naked, and I’m still aching from Lennox’s touch.
He walks over to the couch and wraps a throw blanket around his waist so he’s somewhat covered.
“I’m not. We survived; that’s all that matters. Plus…” I blush. “That was, uh…”
I can’t bring myself to say the rest. I have no problem arguing with the man and telling him everything on my mind, but when it comes to my sexual desires, I just can’t say them out loud to him. I’m not ashamed of them. I’m just not sure of my own feelings yet.
He smirks. “You’re not sorry for the best fucking orgasm of your life or for fulfilling your sexual fantasy from your journal that I would have satisfied at some point anyway?”
I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear and nod with a soft smile. The experience would have been perfect if we weren’t having to do it because of Andrea. If we had chosen to play that game, it would have been exactly what I’d fantasized.
“I’m sorry I let Andrea take you. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe.”
I frown. “It’s not your fault.”
He shakes his head. “It is my fault. As much as I wish I could promise I could keep you safe—I can’t. I can’t make that promise and keep it. We have too many enemies, you and I. Too many people that want us dead.”
“You don’t need to apologize for that. I’ve lived my entire life with people trying to keep me safe. I’ve always known I’ll die young. Dying doesn’t stop me from living.”
“No, it doesn’t.” He reaches his hand out and strokes my cheek.
I close my eyes, loving his gentle touch on my face. All I want is to curl up in bed with him, have him wrap his arms and legs around me, and sleep.
It’s not Lennox’s style, though. We’ve only ever cuddled post-sex. But I’m too tired to fuck tonight. And from the looks of Lennox, he’s too tired too.