I won’t let her bring everyone I care about down with her, even if she’s content on getting everyone she loves killed.
I could drag her inside, lock her up until she comes to her senses.
Or...
“Go.” I look her dead in the eyes. “But I’ll not send my men on a suicide mission. If you go to Kit, you go without protection.”
Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t back down. She walks out the car door, past Hayes and Gage, and then out of the garage.
“Should we follow her?” Gage asks.
“No.”
I can’t save her. She’s on her own.
Chapter24
Rialta
I knockon River and Beckett’s door gently, almost hoping they won’t answer. But I don’t really have another choice. I need somewhere safe to sleep tonight. I’m soaking wet and terrified and shaken from what I’ve lived through tonight.
I’m not going back to Lennox’s, and I’m definitely not going to my father’s. And Kit’s not a choice, not anymore.
I’m sure they have the place monitored, so they probably saw me approach before I even knocked. Not two seconds later, Beckett is opening the door in his boxers with a scowl on his face.
Wordlessly, he opens the door and lets me in. I know he’s annoyed with me, even after all we’ve been through together. The secrets we’ve shared and my part in ensuring he got to marry the love of his life don’t make up for me risking his child’s life with my antics.
He closes the door behind me. “Ri’s asleep.”
“I didn’t come here to talk to her. I just came here for a safe place to sleep. I’ll get up and leave before she wakes up, so she won’t know I was here.”
He frowns. “What happened?”
I raise an eyebrow, shocked Lennox didn’t call to inform them how reckless I was. I guess I truly am on my own.
“I did something stupid, as usual.”
Beckett narrows his eyes, considering pulling more information from me. “You can sleep in the guest room. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks, I’m sure I’ll manage for tonight.”
I start walking toward the bedroom.
“And Rialta…”
I turn. “Yes?”
“You didn’t do anything stupid. I know you—you have a big heart. Too big, actually. You deserve happiness and fun, and everything you want in life. Don’t apologize or feel guilty for going after what you want. It’s not stupid.”
I nod, disagreeing, but it’s late, and Beckett needs to go to bed.
I head into the guest bedroom. I should strip out of my wet clothes at least, but I’m too tired. I don’t even bother to turn on the light or pull down the covers on the bed. I just collapse on top, knowing I won’t sleep as I contemplate my next move.
Tears fall hard down my face. I’ve already made my decision. I put the first steps of that plan in motion tonight; tomorrow, I’ll do the rest. I sob, hoping the despair will eventually pull me into sleep’s darkness.
It never does.
Alone in the hallway, I stand in front of Lennox’s door as my heart races. He’s going to be pissed, and I have no idea what I’m going to say to him. But I can’t make myself open the door to face him.