Lennox is going to die.
I’m going to die.
It’s just a matter of who outlives whom.
I have accepted my own death—but the thought of Lennox actually dying, of being hunted by my own father…I can’t. It just can’t happen. Lennox can’t die.
Why?
Because I love him.
I love him.
Is that enough to save him?
Will my love be enough to make him love me?
And this baby—will being pregnant ruin any chances at saving our lives?
Then Hayes, as if hearing all my questions, answers them for me. “You can’t save him any more than he can save you.”
“Why would he agree to those terms?”
“To save Beckett and Ri. To protect all of us. Lennox is a grumpy martyr with the biggest heart. I know you love him, but it won’t be enough.”
I frown. I have to find a way to make it enough.
Chapter36
Lennox
“You look fucking incredible,”I say as I sit across from Rialta at her favorite Italian restaurant.
She smiles in her low-cut black dress that shows off her incredible tits and matches the dark color of her hair. But her smile is what catches my attention the most. She hasn’t smiled much this last week.
Probably because I haven’t shared anything that’s been happening or my deal with Vincent or the truth. I’ve decided I want to share, but I don’t know how.
If we are going to make a real go at a caring relationship, at trying to outlive our short lifespans, then I need to tell her everything. Only then can she decide if she really wants to be with me.
This past week, though, we’ve been going through the motions, processing everything. I’ve been trying my best to infiltrate Corsi’s ranks, meeting with many of his men. Trying to find spies within the men. Trying to find who I can trust. And most importantly, trying to find dirt on Andrea.
If he is the man responsible for trying to end the Corsi line, it would make my life a lot easier. But all the dirt I’ve got on him just leads to him being a young, ambitious, and power-hungry man who thinks he can become the next Corsi leader.
Rialta has spent her days with Hayes and Ri mostly. She went with Beckett to one of Ri’s doctor appointments. And Hayes has been continuing to work with her on her self-defense and training.
We’ve barely spoken during the day this past week, but every evening I’ve held her close. That is until she woke up and ran to the bathroom, expelled everything in her stomach, and passed out in my arms again.
It worries me—the nightmares.
It’s only been a week, but I know the toll that kind of trauma will take on her. And I can’t do anything to stop it.
She can try therapy, but that typically doesn’t work on people like us. People who have seen the darkest of darks. People who live through death and pain every day.
I worry I pushed her too far.
We haven’t had sex since that night. I want her, and I think she wants me, but until we have a conversation, neither of us knows how to initiate it.
But tonight, things will change. I’ll tell her everything over dinner—even the parts that Hayes and Gage wouldn’t want me to share, and then she can decide what she wants to do.