“Truth is, I’m not really drifting right now, Jer.”
His face fell, and he turned back to the ribs. “What do you mean?”
“I’m in school,” I told him. “I’m finishing my certificate in mere months. I’m going back to New York. That’s where I live now.”
Jeremy’s mouth turned into a thin line. Nowhewas pissed.
“See?” Tara retorted, sneering at Jeremy. “I told you she wouldn’t do it.”
“You can shut your fat mouth, Tara,” I snapped, my heart racing. There was so much inside me that wanted to explode. And I didn’t have the energy to keep it inside anymore.
“I can’t believe you’d call anyone else fat with how you look in that dress,” Tara said, laughing bitterly.
This was when the tears used to come. But now, it just increased the pressure inside me.
“I don’t care what you have to say about me or my life anymore,” I hissed at her. “No matter what I do, no matter what I say, it’s wrong. You’re the one who’s constantly nagging for me to come home, and now that I’m here, you can’t wait until I’m gone. You ask for help and mock me in the same breath. You’ve been nothing but a bitch to me since the day I was born. And honestly, I don’t really care why anymore. There’s no hope of getting along with you in this lifetimeorthe next. So how about you shut the fuck up and we never speak again? That would really help family relations, Tara. Shut up and butt out.”
“Gladly,” she spat, glaring at me so hard I thought my dress might catch on fire.
“I just wish you two would get along,” Mom lamented, but she looked unbothered. Maybe even secretly entertained. She had probably shot up while she was out.
This was the textbook definition of a toxic family dynamic, and I was ready to say goodbye forever.
“That chance ended the day you two turned your backs on me,” I said, pointing at her and Tara. “It’s why you and me, Mom, we’re never living together. Sorry to burst your creepy family bubble here, but I’m not taking care of you, because you never took care of me. I don’t owe you shit after you defended that scumbag, and I’m done tiptoeing around it. And besides, that’s not my job. It’s not any of our job. You’re a grown-ass woman, Mom. Figure it out. I know you’re struggling, but I’ve helped you as much as I can stand. And now? I needall of youto lay the fuck off.”
My chest heaved when I was done. They all watched me with varying degrees of disdain.
“What, nothing to say about Jeremy?” Tara goaded. “I knew he was always your favorite.”
“Save it, Tara.” I huffed and spun on my heels, finding four pairs of wide eyes. That spectacle had been fully absorbed by all the nieces and nephews in the house.
“Sorry you kids had to hear that,” I said softly, stepping past Izzy and Hannah. Tara’s kids on the couch quickly buried their heads in their handhelds again.
“Are we ever gonna see you again, Aunt Jessa?” Izzy’s voice trembled with emotion.
“Of course you will, sweetheart,” I said, bending down to eye level with her. “I’ll come back just to see you kids, okay? I promise. Be good girls for me.” Hannah came up, and I was wrapped in their arms. I hugged them tightly, wishing I could carry them with me. I needed to leave. Immediately.
I gave them one last squeeze and let go. I could feel all eyes on me as I scooped up my messenger bag, stuffed with my pencils and sketchbooks, and rolled my luggage behind me. Nobody chased me down.
I paused at the door, looking back at the kitchen. Jeremy was the only one who met my gaze. He looked sadder than I’d ever seen him, but I couldn’t give away my life just to help a woman who barely wanted to be helped, a family that constantly tore me down.
That’s not what I was here for. And I was done pretending they had the right to demand that I change my course just to suit their agendas.
I tore open the door, finding dusk spreading across the calm neighborhood. Damn these early sunsets. The crisp evening air stole my breath as my eyes adjusted to the outside world, spotting the bare trees in the distance first.
And then I noticed the sleek black sports car in the driveway.
I blinked. I had no plan, no ride arranged, no nothing. This wasn’t my car. So who was it?
I decided it didn’t matter. The shininess of the car distracted me as I barreled past it. It seemedtoonice.Tooshiny. Was that a Mercedes Benz?
My feet hit the asphalt of my brother’s street. I hadn’t made it three steps down the road when I heard a familiar voice shout gruffly, “Jessa!”
I swallowed, an annoying kernel of hope fluttering inside of me. That voice couldn’t belong to who it sounded like it belonged to. Unless I was hallucinating now, on top of everything else going wrong around me. Surely the imaginary audience of this doomed reality TV show waslovingthis turn of events.
“Jessa, please.”
The emotion cracking the baritone voice was unmistakable. My entire body lit up like a firecracker, hope trembling against awe. I turned slowly.