“The very ones.” She perched on the edge of the bed, teasing the hem of her gown above her ankles.
Drew watched, enjoying her flirting with him. “I had some free time before the season started. Could we talk first before anything else happens between us.”
She let her gown fall and her smile vanished as Drew moved to sit beside her on the bed.
Aurora owed him some sort of proper explanation for trying to end their affair. Abandoning him on the assumption he was about to be married hadn’t produced the result she’d hoped for. He wished to continue their affair, even if she would not marry him. If he proposed today a second time, he could expect her to refuse again. They would argue, and around and around they would go forever. Drew was ready for the refusal, but the latter, arguments about her lack of reason, would likely not please him.
“I wish you could be satisfied with pleasures and forget this foolish desire to marry me,” she began. “I would make you a very poor wife indeed. I would make anyone a bad wife, actually. All I hoped for between us was a little affection, lust satisfied, and the hope we could remain on friendly terms once the affair had run its course.”
Aurora always talked of endings, which was the furthest thing on his mind.
Today as on any other, he was living a life with her. An hour and more had passed since their meeting in the park and every moment they’d spend together since felt right and good. How could she not want more of that?
She’d expected him to shrug off her absence and return to his search for a proper bride. But he had not done as she’d assumed. He never seemed to do what she expected of him. She was exactly the same from his perspective.
She nibbled on a lock of her hair, watching for his response.
“I feared you’d never come back to me,” he whispered.
“I knew I couldn’t stay away the minute I saw you in the park today,” she answered softly.
He reached out, and Aurora immediately put her hand in his. He squeezed her fingers and pulled her toward him, Aurora rising up the closer she got. With a single tug more, she was standing between his thighs.
He fell back, dragging her into bed with him. “Promise me you won’t ever do that again. I felt such a fool, tiptoeing around your cousin asking about your whereabouts.”
“I’m sorry. I thought…”
“You thought I’d be busy bedding other women by now.” He kissed her fingers. “There’s no need to feel jealous of Miss Hayes, or any other woman I speak to. I cannot dine with Wade without his sister-in-law likely being there. I like my friend and want to spend time with him. When I married, we hardly saw each other.”
She met his gaze. “Because you moved to Kent with your wife?”
His hand rubbed along her side and stopped on her hip. “Yes…and with the uncomfortable realization that he might have been in love with her, too. Yet I won her favor with his help.”
“Oh,” she said, wincing. “That must have been awkward.”
“It was. When I came back to London, I wasn’t sure we could be friends still. He hadn’t known about Clare’s passing, and he was understandably upset when I told him. But as time passed, we are back on a familiar footing. He’s happy now, so all irritations have been removed between us. I am well aware of what everyone suspects will happen between myself and Lavinia Hayes. Even her own family thinks I will propose. But I have asked you, and I am committed to you. Nothing has changed that. Not even your doubts about marriage will drive me away.”
“I will not change my mind,” she whispered to him. “You will have to marry someone else eventually for your heir.”
Drew turned her onto her back.
He sought her mouth, and his kiss was soft and tender. Aurora tightened her fingers in his hair, determined to explode their passion yet again. But Drew would not cooperate. There were many things yet to say.
Aurora broke the kiss and stared at him. “I want you.”
“You have me,” he promised, smoothing back her hair from her face.
“No, I don’t,” she said, loosening her grip on him. “Your thoughts are elsewhere. I’ve displeased you.”
“No. Not really. You haven’t told me anything you’ve not always said. But now I am thinking of a future I never envisioned for myself, or for you,” he said slowly. “It’s been on my mind for a while now.”
She wriggled away from him. “What is the thought?”
“Something unpalatable.” He felt so sad. They could have lived a far different life together. A life lived openly, loving each other, and with no reason to hide their attachment. “Before I mention it, I ask you to marry me again…and for the last time, I beg you to say yes finally.”
Aurora froze. “No,” she whispered.
He raked a hand through his hair. “Will you at least tell me what your reason isn’t?”