“Well, at least your loss of control is something positive to come out of our discussion tonight,” she said somewhat primly. “I sensed no real hesitation on your part when you kissed me.”
He squinted at her in the darkness, annoyed that she sounded so calm when his thoughts were still so chaotic. Their kiss had been a turning point in his life. His first taste of desire since Clare. He wanted more.
“Neither did I.”
Aurora cleared her throat. “I’m certain that the next time, matters will proceed even more smoothly. With someone else, of course.”
Drew was not sure about someone else, but if it turned out to be Aurora in his arms, and perched on his lap, letting him kiss her, he was certain he would perform admirably. “I hope so.”
“The asking was a nice touch, too,” she added softly after a moment.
“Thank you,” he murmured, and then laughed, feeling awkward again. Had he really doubted his ability to kiss properly before? It wasn’t so much the kissing that had concerned him, but rather the emotions of guilt that he’d feared might follow.
Right now, he felt not the least bit guilty about anything.
There were other signs pointing to a good outcome of tonight’s conversation, too.
Despite the dark that surround them in the carriage, obscuring her clear view of him, Drew shrugged out of his coat and wisely laid it over his lap to hide the evidence of an erection that would not seem to subside.
Of all the women in London he could have chosen for his first kiss, why had he responded to her so strongly? He’d known Aurora for more than a year, for heaven’s sake. They were hardly strangers to each other.
And Aurora had reacted to him in a way that surprised him, too, until she’d realized what they were doing was wrong and put an end to his seduction.
“Would you please have the carriage take me home now,” Aurora whispered, and then spoke more firmly. “I think your first private lesson has been a great success.”
Drew sputtered. That was no lesson. That had been pure lust uncovered. But he told the driver to turn and take them to Wharton House immediately. He would not take any further risks with Aurora’s reputation. Not if he wanted her to help him make the right match.
He tapped his fingers on his thigh, puzzled by Aurora Hillcrest as much as himself.
Aurora had reacted to him instinctively, without artifice or calculation, in a purely physical way. Responded in a manner a new lover might to a wanted caress. Breathless, eagerness betraying her desire for more. Willing to play along with anything he might do until he’d gone too fast. But he could not mistake the fierce burst of desire that had awakened him from his stupor.
Earlier in the evening, he had watched over her with other men, telling himself his concern was solely because Berringer and her cousin had been absent from the ballroom for a good long while.
Had he always been envious of every smile she’d bestowed on other men?
There was more to this to be discussed and explored, especially her reaction to him, but that could wait for another day.
He sensed possibilities he’d not considered before. Scandalous ones, too, given that brief tease of passion between them. They were already often thrown into each other’s company due to her cousins and their mutual friends.
And as he looked at her in the imperfect clarity of the dark swaying carriage, he yearned to touch her again.
But to what end?
He could not practice on Aurora and then marry someone else later. That would not be fair to Aurora, even if that was exactly what she expected him to do. She insisted he take a lover. Suggested he pick some light-skirt or penny whore from the street corner to grace his cock for a few shillings. But he’d had those opportunities all along and never partaken with strangers. Making love to someone known to him, however, was an entirely different matter.
The driver tapped the carriage, signaling their destination was imminent, and there was no further time for conversation as the carriage started to slow.
Drew sat forward in his seat and put his hand on Aurora’s knee.
Her breath caught again. “My lord?”
“I should say good night now, so no one suspects I’m with you. I will not step from the carriage when we reach Wharton House.”
“I so appreciate your concern for my reputation now,” she drawled, and then removed his hand from her body.
Drew couldn’t be satisfied parting on bad terms. He probably deserved more of a set down than that, and he would give her the opportunity tomorrow. He had taken liberties, after all. “Words were not how I wanted to say good night.”
He tugged her onto his lap again and caught her chin in his hand. Aurora Hillcrest was a fine woman. He’d like to know her much better, too. He smiled quickly and closed the short distance between them to kiss her lips. Aurora tasted sweet, of unimaginable excitement, and he twisted his head, eagerly seeking a deeper taste of her mouth.