"She was a wonderful mother," he said, like he'd come to the conclusion long before. "Her life was about more than my brother and I and she has done so much good."
"But when you were a child, you wanted her to be like the other moms."
"Sì. Now, I appreciate the woman she is."
"But that's why my job was such a problem for you. You saw my dedication to at risk youth as a competition for dedication to our own family."
"We didn't even have children yet, and yes I know I tried to guilt you into having them earlier than we planned. I've done a lot of thinking this past week and I ask myself if I set out to break us up because my actions couldn't have ended with any other scenario."
"Do you think you wanted out of the marriage, but didn't want to break your word?" she asked, pain at the idea a solid lump in her chest.
He shook his head decisively and then met her gaze, his own intent. "No. I think I was what you accused me of being. Arrogant. I believed that because you were so malleable with your family, you would be malleable with me when it mattered. Or when I thought it mattered. My entire life, I have found it easier to ask pardon than to ask permission. And so, I did what I always had done, made my plans and then told you about them after the fact, assuming that even if you were angry, you would get over it."
"And you would get your way." She took another sip of her warmed milk, finding it comforting but his willingness to talk even more so.
He nodded, looking chagrined. "In no scenario did I actually expect you to dump me."
"You were very sure of me."
"You told me you loved me."
"You said you aren't a romantic."
"I am not. I am pragmatic and I thought if you loved me, then so much the better."
"How did that work out for you?" she asked with only a little sarcasm.
"As you know, it did not work at all."
"And now?"
He came around the table, dropping to his knees beside her chair and taking both her hands in his. "Now? Now, I must tell you how very sorry I am for taking you for granted, for treating you like you were not the most precious person in my life as you were. I should never have planned that honeymoon, hoping to get you to quit your job. That was inexcusable, and I paid dearly for my arrogance."
He considered losing her a dear price to pay?
He kissed her knuckles, and then looked into her eyes, his shining with sincerity and something she'd never seen before in them. Humility. "I am so sorry I made the decision to move back to Sicily without talking to you first. When I told my father, he was livid with me. Said he'd raised me better."
"It shocked me."
"No matter what happens between us going forward, you have my word I will never attempt to manipulate you like that again."
She went to draw her hands away, but he held tight. "I'm not done."
CHAPTER 15
"There's more?" she asked.
"I have not yet said how much I regret not listening to you that day. You would not be you if you did not want to help others. Your heart is too big to keep it caged in a Sicilian mansion."
"You're positively poetic."
"I am not trying to be."
She smiled. "I believe you. Neither of us is the same person we were five years ago."
"No, we are not." He gave her a slashing grin, some of his usual confidence shining through. "I think now, you would make me listen."
"Yes." She so would.