"If you were needed." There was something in Carlo's tone. It wasn't quite derogatory, but it was something. He shrugged. "Look, If Joyce needs help, your mother is there in New York for her to call on."
"My mother isn't going to offer to babysit." But honestly, Annette wasn't sure that was true. "Okay, maybe she will. She loves Joyce after all."
Unlike the adopted daughter she'd taken on sufferance.
"So, you have nothing to worry about."
Only that everyone else seemed to think how wan her sister looked was normal and okay.
Maybe Annette was being paranoid and feeling guilty because she wasn't in town and able to offer real help with the baby. Her sister was right. Annette couldn't rock her baby niece to sleep, or help by changing a diaper, or in any other tangible way from across the country.
Unlike the rest of her family, she wasn't wealthy and couldn't pay for once a week help for her sister to get a break, or anything likethateither.
Perhaps the time had come to move back to New York. If her father balked, Annette would tell him to deal with it. She'd lived in exile long enough. She had stayed away for over five years. Surely that was enough time for the embarrassment her actions had brought her family to have subsided and her notoriety with it.
She couldn't afford to live in the city, even if she left the nonprofit sector, which she didn't want to do. But she could move close enough to make it possible to see her sister weekly, instead of only for the major events in Joyce's life.
"You don't look like you are getting much sleep yourself," Carlo remarked.
He didn't sound concerned exactly, but he didn't sound like he was reveling in her misfortune either.
"Jetlag," she dismissed, though she knew that was only part of it.
She hadn't been sleeping well for weeks. Her promotion had been eye opening in some very negative ways.
Now that Annette had access to what all the employees in her region were being paid, the realization that there were gross inequities in pay for marginalized staff had hurt. Finding out that she was not allowed to address those inequities because of national policy for the organization had been soul destroying.
She was currently fighting for pay raises for three of the employees and the amount of red tape being thrown her way opened her eyes to realities she found beyond unacceptable.
"How long will you be in Sicily?" he asked, speculation in his grey eyes.
"Just three days."
"That is a rather short stay for such a long flight."
He was right. Flying commercial from Oregon made for an extremely long day flying, especially when she'd had a four-hour layover in Rome because her flight to Sicily had been delayed. The flight home would be worse. "I couldn't take any more time off from my job."
Disappointment flashed in his grey gaze. "Ah, yes, your career comes first."
He didn't point out the fact that if she wanted to help her sister in any meaningful way, Annette's job could not take the precedence it always had. They both knew it and clearly, he believed she wouldn't make the necessary changes.
Why should he think any differently? Annette had refused to change jobs to move to Sicily with him after their wedding. Looking back, especially knowing what she did now about her organization, regret sat heavily on her heart.
"It's all I have right now," she admitted baldly. Particularly if Joyce didn'twantAnnette's help or presence.
Annette had no social life to speak of. All of her friends were from work and their socialization happened around work. Her new position was making her take stock of how the management expected that kind of commitment from employees that were not paid enough to make rent and utilities without a partner.
Like her. She'd had to sell stuff and work a seasonal second job to make ends meet.
"Being named our niece's godparent meant nothing to you then?" he asked, this time the disappointment in her was easy to see.
"That's not what I said. I just…" Being named Jocinda's godparent wasn't going to change Annette's life appreciably.
Not as long as she kept living in Portland.
Joyce was the only member of Annette's family who wanted anything to do with her, but she lived across country. They video chatted weekly, and Annette had been able to return to New York for important events, like Joyce's wedding and Jocinda's birth, but it wasn't enough.
Annette could only see one way to fix that.