Peter:If we’re truly fan favorites, that’s entirely due to Maria. No one can resist her Nordic wiles.
Moderator:Did you get along well from the beginning? Because otherwise, finding yourself stuck on an island together could have beenawkward.
Maria:[laughs] Yes. Very awkward.
Peter:Incredibly awkward.
Maria:I can honestly say I liked Peter the first moment I saw him.
Peter:Same here.
Maria:And fortunately, filming together on the island allows us plenty of time to work through any disagreements that might crop up.
Peter:Yes. For example, disagreements about the appropriate number of times one actor should threaten to beat the other with a glass jar of pickled herring. I.e., none.
Maria:Stop calling me Pippi, and I’ll stop menacing you with herring,skitstövel.
Moderator:What does that mean?
Maria:It means Peter deserves a fistful of salty licorice shoved down his throat.
Peter:Even afterThe Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I don’t think people realize the startling amount of seething violence buried beneath those bland Swedish facades.
Moderator:Um—
Peter:Just ask the Norwegians. They know all about unprovoked Swedish aggression.
Moderator:Let’s—
Peter:Also the Danes.
Moderator:—go to—
Peter:Iceland moved halfway across an ocean to get away.
Moderator:—our next—
Peter:Finland has been cowering for centuries now. They hide in their saunas.
Moderator:—panelist, shall we?
Peter:Can an entire country take anger management classes? Because—
Maria:I should have kidnapped you, put you in a boat, dumped you in the water in front of Dolphy McBlowholeface, and watched her smack the shit out of you, Reedton.
Peter:Again with the shit. Another thing I don’t think people realize about Swedes: their unswerving obsession with—
Maria:Keep talking,skitstövel. Keep talking, and good luck digging out your blue cupboard.
Moderator:His... blue cupboard?
Peter:If you know, you know.
Maria:And believe me, heknows. From very personal, very smelly experience.
Moderator:I . . . think we should move on to Marcus Caster-Rupp now. What can youtell us about the upcoming third season?
Marcus:I think fans will be absolutely delighted by my new hair care routine!