“When do we start or . . . I just want to make sure I give plenty of notice to the team at Splendor.”
“It’ll be a while. I wanted to cast Dessi first because she’s the center of the whole thing. I need to build around her. Around you.”
I can’t even breathe right. This conversation is a high-speed car chase and I’m barely keeping up. I force myself to focus on his words despite the tires screeching in my head.
“Mallory’s working on casting everyone else. As soon as Verity delivers the script, we’ll start scouting locations in earnest. We’ve done some prelim work, but I want the script before we nail it down. I hope to shoot in New York since so much of the story takes place there.”
“I just realized I don’t know the story. I don’t know anything about Dessi other than what I read on page seventeen.”
“It’s fascinating. Dessi was an incredibly talented singer and dancer from the thirties and forties who led a remarkable life, but like so many Black performers back in the day, she’s gotten lost.”
“You love history, don’t you?” I don’t know what makes me ask that in the middle of this discussion about the project, but I don’t regret it.
“I’m interested in the stories lost in the crevices of history, yeah.”
“So many of your documentaries focus on historical figures, so that makes sense.”
“Winston Churchill said history is written by the victors, but I would amend that to say it’s often written by liars. History is fact. You can’t change what happened, but you can edit it. People lie and leave out the truth, bend it to suit their needs. I like to tell stories that excavate the facts and expose the truth.”
“I love that.”
There’s a loaded pause before I clear my throat and he does the same.
“Yeah, well, so,” he says. “About the movie.”
“Oh, sure. Sorry. You were telling me about Dessi Blue.”
“I’d rather you learn about Dessi for yourself. You up for a field trip?”
“A field trip? When? Where?”
“As soon as you can get some time off. Just a few days, but Dessi still has family in the small town where she grew up. Her parents moved to New York from Alabama during the Great Migration when she was sixteen, but some of their family stayed behind. Her daughter lives in Alabama and essentially oversees the estate—what there is of it. I’m optioning Dessi’s life story through her. I think it’d be great if you got to know Dessi through someone connected to her.”
“That would be super helpful.”
“Verity will come, too. Great opportunity for her to get as close as we can to source material.”
A road trip with Canon Holt, even chaperoned, sends a secret thrill through me, one I suppress immediately.
Focus.
“This all sounds amazing,” I say. “It’s a true biopic.”
“Yes, and we don’t get enough of those about Black folks who did big things. It will be a demanding role with singing, dancing. You will act your ass off for me. I’ll do whatever it takes to get the best out of you. I’m not easy to work with. You might hate me by the time it’s over.”
“Why me?” I ask softly. “I mean, this is obviously a huge budget and a once-in-a-lifetime role. I’m . . . a standby.”
“No, you’re a star who was standing by waiting for me to find her.”
I let his low-voiced encouragement sink in before replying.
“That sounds very Svengali. Are you planning to mold me into exactly what you want?” I release a breathless chuckle. “Good luck with that.”
“I don’t want to change you. I think you’re fantastic exactly as you are.”
All humor fades to dust at the certainty in his rough-smooth voice. A man like Canon, a director like him saying I’m fantastic as I am—I need to savor this. Roll it around in my mouth like candy. Suck on it for a second and swallow all the affirmation hidden at the center.
“This role will change you, though,” he continues. “Inevitably and irreversibly. The learning curve will be steep, and I won’t go easy on you. You have no film experience.”
“I know,” I say, the enormity of this undertaking flattening my high.
“But what you do have is Dessi’s spirit. There’s not much left, but I’ve seen old photos and some rare footage of her performing. She had an inextinguishable light. Trying to cast this role the last six months, I’ve seen so many actresses. Many of them were great, a lot of them already famous, but I didn’t see that light until I saw you perform a few weeks ago. I want it. I want that light. I want that heart and that vulnerability and strength. There is so much inside of you, Neevah, and I’m warning you now that I want it all.”
And in this moment, sitting on the floor of my dingy apartment, on the cusp of the greatest opportunity of my life, I want to give it to him.